Just found out FI & I totally disagree on wedding gown styles

posted 2 years ago in Dress
Post # 16
Member
4053 posts
Honey bee

 He’s marrying the person in the dress and not the dress. Even if he dislikes the dress it won’t impact on his marriage. Tell him that your dream is to wear a wedding dress with beautiful lace on it and you hope he can overcome his lace aversion to support you. If , for any reason, he objects than you’d have to question this guy’s values.

An no, I don’t think this is the same as you objecting to him wearing jeans or some outlandish colour becasue a lace dress is a part of the he commonly accepted standard for bridal attire, it’s cuturally appropriate and you are not asking for his approval to wear anything radical or inappropriate.

Post # 17
Member
3698 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - City, State

I sent my Darling Husband a list with pictures of about 15-20 dresses in it. The dress that I loved and purchased was in that collection. I think he ranked it 12th out of the whole bunch. But on our wedding day he thought I looked incredible, and couldn’t even recall that he’d seen the dress. I looked totally different in it than the model did. The consultant at the bridal store picked it out and honestly, based on the model photo and how it looked on the hanger, I never would have even brought it into my dressing room, let alone thought it’d be “my” dress. Try on a bunch of different dresses and buy what you feel best in. He’ll love you in anything you wear.

Post # 18
Member
10342 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

When you get dressed in the morning do you say to yourself “Hmmm, I really want to wear this blouse, it’s my favorite shade of green! But I forgot dear Fiance hates green so I better wear this navy turtleneck instead.”

Probably not, right?

Post # 19
Member
485 posts
Helper bee

 First of all, that dress is beautiful! Second, im in the same predicament as well. For the wedding in general, SO wants traditional everything. I on the other hand, want offbeat and boho. SO really wants me to choose a b allgown. Id like a sheath. So… Ive opened up to trying on different styles. Hes going to go to my first appointment with me and look at styles. 

Post # 20
Hostess
2889 posts
Sugar bee

Girl, get the dress YOU want. $100 and my firstborn says he will think you’re the most beautiful woman in the world when you’re walking down the aisle, whatever you’re wearing.

Post # 21
Member
636 posts
Busy bee

It’s a good job he isn’t wearing one then

Post # 22
Member
179 posts
Blushing bee

Stop showing him dresses. People say things off the cuff that have no bearing on how they’ll feel in reality and it will drive you crazy. There are dozens of bees that can tell you they chose a different dress to what they imagined they would from pictures.

In any event, I cannot imagine your Fiance has built up such resentment towards lace that it will interfere with your wedding day or the photos afterwards. Enjoy choosing your dress!

Post # 23
Member
644 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

I bought my dress before I told anyone. So I causally showed it to my Fiance as a “style” I wanted and he said he hated it. I was literally crushed. 

A few weeks later and now I am over it. It is the dress I wanted to wear, I piad for it and I look wonder in it. 

 

It is your dress. You have to wear it. You should pick the dress YOU want.

Post # 24
Member
644 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

View original reply
MiniMeow :  I loved reading this.. I did a similar thing and he said he hated it and I was crushed. I have fought hard to get myself to the point where I am like “no this is my dress and I love it and he wil think I am stunning in it”

 

SO GLAD somene else had this experiance <3

Post # 25
Member
2646 posts
Sugar bee

Have you seen Miranda Kerr’s wedding gown? That’s what comes to mind for long sleeves and no lace. 

Post # 26
Member
176 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

While I agree its your dress, i’m a little old school in that I like to look nice for my husband and his opinion means a lot to me.  Heres a couple of dresses that might fit the bill for you

Post # 27
Member
926 posts
Busy bee

 

View original reply
annalisarose : i saw a ronald joyce satin 3/4 sleeves ball gown.. not sure if that’s what you’re thinking. Love the lacey sleeves but I didn’t look good in long sleeves

goo.gl/images/ZWEiLy

Post # 28
Member
1103 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2018 - -

This issue is why my fiance will be coming with me dress shopping to help me decide on the dress. I don’t care about needing him to cry when he sees me for the first time, I want a dress that he loves. I have plenty of clothes that are all about me.

He really likes this Pnina Love dress. We absolutely haven’t decided on it, but that’s the look he knows he likes before even seeing me try anything on:

 

Post # 29
Member
120 posts
Blushing bee

I’m not engaged yet, (waiting for him to get the ring!), but my Boyfriend or Best Friend and I watch say yes to the dress all the time.  Sometimes, he sees a dress he “hates,” because it has sleeves, or it’s ivory, etc.  But then 5 minutes later, he says how he has no clue and all dresses look the same.  I happen to love sleeves and ivory, but I keep it to myself… as others have said, I don’t think it will even register that he said he hates those details on a gown that day.  He loves ME, even when I haven’t washed my hair in days with no makeup wearing sweats.  If he can love me when I look a mess, he will love me in whatever gown I choose.  And I would say the same to you!!!

Post # 30
Member
84 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

As much as I can understand and can be related to you because like every bride, I want my fiance to say WOW when he first sees me in my dress on our wedding day. I wanted to avoid whichever styles he absolutely hates, but I stop asking him what kind of dress he would like. Because 1) he’s a man, he probably won’t care about my wedding dress as much as I would, 2) he’ll have less surprise if I keep asking him about my dress option, I wouldn’t want that!, 3) at the end of the day, he’ll marry me, not to my dress. I know my fiance will tell me that I’m beautiful, besides wedding day can be so emotional, I hardly think any groom would tell their bride they hate the dresses they’re wearing! Wedding day is more than that! I’d stick with whatever I like the most and be completely and comfortable and beautiful in it. Good luck!!!

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