- 8 years ago
- Wedding: April 2012
This is long, but I feel myself relating to this, although my debts were not due to buying things for myself necessarly.
This is just to paint of picture of what happens when debts go un-resolved.
Oh boy… see I am 20k in the hole due to some stupid decisions I made to help out a boyfriend I had the time. This all happened before I even met the husband. I was a student at the time and was not able to pay off any of it. So almost 6 years later, it is basically up to me to pay this back out of moral obligation. I have a hard time justifying paying the debt in full to a bunch of debt buyers though (none of them are willing to take a settlement, I have debt buyers from hell, yay!). They had bought the debt for nearly nothing, want to collect in full plus interest. When I tell them I can’t afford to pay what they are telling me, they get nasty, like I have the money but do not want to pay. (Um, no really I don’t have some magical money tree in the backyard…wish I did). Not my proudest moment, but one of them filed a lawsuit against me, which I won because the Judge did not feel a debt buyer had any merit to being suing anyone in the first place. The debt buyer made sure to make me feel pretty lousy though and are still trying to collect from me. I have had to resort to blocking their number. So, be careful of the fact that you can be sued for a debt and you may have to suffer the consequences even if it is his debt. It is not fun at all, it is totally humiliating and these people that are suing you, they are not the nicest people. I do not about laws in Ontario, but here if they get a judgement, they can garnish your wages and levy your assets.
I would really rather pay it back to the original creditors, but it is too late for that now…another year to go and the debt will not be on my credit report, but I will have no credit whatsoever. Also, now all my debts are outside of statute of limitations. Will that stop a debt buyer from filing a lawsuit, no. But if I do not go to court I am slapped with a default judgement. I have complimented bankruptcy several times, but that sticks around for 10 years. I also hate the fact that I have to file BK, because my ex refused to help pay me back like he said he would. Again, my fault, I know this. But a mistake that have to deal with for 10 years?
Now when we first started dating, I made it clear to my husband what had happened. He said he knew plenty of girls that had dated loser exs like I did and were actually worst off then I was. Now to me, $20K is shameful and alot of money! However, he put that in the back of his mind and said I was not a bad person, I was just a very trusting person that was taken advantage of. Now we are married, granted I can’t get credit right now, but it hasn’t really affected us that much. I also have learned to be very frugile with my money. I do not know what advice I can offer you, be wary of some of those debt consolidation people if you decide to go that route though. Trust me….
I have to pay everything in cash and if I do not have the money to afford it, I do not buy it. Yes, this is depressing sometimes when I go shopping and the fact that if I wanted to buy a car it is very difficult…I have had to work my up with my bank to get an actual checking account, so I am proud at least that I was able to get that in the right direction. For the longest time, I was having to pay to get my checks cashed. I also did not have a debit card for the longest time.
I just wish…that I could go back sometimes and told myself to kick that fool to the curb fast…oh well…