(Closed) Just found out gifts not allowed at my venue due to Homeland Security

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
9544 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

Consultette:  I like your mom’s approach, have the guestbook and gift table just outside the venue and load them into a car to sit during the wedding. I wiuldn’t worry about breakins much more than any time you leave your car, especially if you’re at the kind of venue that changes policy based on Homeland Security!

Post # 3
2013 posts
Buzzing bee

I think by saying “envelopes only” it makes it sound like a cash-grab and people may not believe you and just think it’s tacky.

Could you maybe get the word out and if people are planning on bringing along boxed gifts, request that they send them to your house instead (or arrange for someone to pick them up)? Or possibly hire a secure van and put the gifts in there? If you’re concerned about theft, does anyone you know live nearby where the gifts can be dropped off by a family member once they’re all received?

Post # 4
193 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Maybe include a card saying due to homeland security restrictions, no gifts larger than envelopes are permitted in the venue. For those who wish to give gifts beyond that of a card please either have it shipped to xyz, or you are welcome to visit us at our home before or after our wedding. 

Post # 5
619 posts
Busy bee

Consultette:  congrats! May I ask what type of venue you are marrying at that homeland security is involved? Could it be a plane hanger? That would be awesome!

Did you register? Maybe not registering for physical items would help. Perhaps a Honeymoon fund online so people wouldn’t have anything physical to bring besides a card? Or, if you are having a shower, perhaps you can mention that gifts at the venue will be tricky, so if they want to get you a box full of goods they can bring them to the shower or send them to one of your addresses. On that note maybe make a website and mention the prediciment on there? I, too, dislike mention of gifts on the wedding invite. That’s sort of silly to me…

We didn’t register, and got married by the justice and coincidentally received all cash gifts except for a bible, crucifix, and religious wall art piece. Pretty hilarious to my Darling Husband and I 😉 Best of luck!

Post # 6
9281 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

If gifts aren’t allowed for homeland security reasons, aren’t there other kinds of restrictions as well? For example, are bags bigger than a certain size not allowed? Will guests have to go through metal detectors or have their bags searched? It seems strange that the only rule is no gift boxes.

My thinking is that if there are other things that guests will have to deal with, you could approach it as “we regret that items larger than a 12″ x 12″ will be not be permitted in the premises/will be subject to search” or whatever, and then they’ll realize that they can’t be bringing in a giftbox larger than 12″.

Post # 7
159 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

Make a note on your website, in case some does read it. Is there a venue site Cordinator? Have they made suggtions what people have done? Because if no boxed gifts allowed due to security I automaticlay read then why would they allow boxes to sit in a car out side ? Just as dangerous .. 

But the car is a good idea other wise. Do ask the site manager if they have suggestions. 

Do try to avoid the fau pa in the invite. hopefully your gifts will come via showers or people will send gifts to your home ahead of time. Maybe thru conversation your family and friends can mention have pretty and exciting the venue will be but oh my they have tight securit because blah blah blah…activate the gossipe grapevine girl. 

Post # 8
1265 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: City, State

I’d spread the info by word of mouth (not in a gift grabbing sense, but more like – “wanna hear the strange rule my venue has!”) and use your mom’s car idea for backup. 

Post # 9
1692 posts
Bumble bee

When a venue has particular rules that may affect your guests, etiquette certainly allows you to pass on that information. You maintain propriety by first, speaking on behalf of your venue and not on behalf of yourself; and second, by avoiding making any assumptions about your guests and simply conveying the information.

In this case, you simply insert a card that states “Thus-and-so Venue policy does not allow guests to bring packages, parcels and larger bags into the venue.” You do not presume that the packages they are carrying are gifts — they might be carrying a shopping bag with their galoshes in it to be worn out to the parking lot, for all you know. Just let your guests know that they cannot bring them in, and your clever guests will figure out an alternate way to get you any gifts they want to give you.

Post # 11
7418 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

Are you sure that it is no gifts, and not no wrapped gifts? if it is a boat/cruise ship it is generally no wrapped  gifts, and it is perfectly fine to indicate on the info card or weddimg website that “due to DHS regulations, wrapped gifts are not permitted. wrapped gifts may be forwarded to (whatever your address).” You can also ask the venue if they have a boathouse, information booth, whatever, where gifts can be collected and somewhere secure to store them.

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