Post # 16
- Wedding: April 2012 - Chateau Briand
an obvious answer, but you have to do what is right for you and your Fiance. even those who have been in a similar situation can’t give much insight as no two situations can really compare.
Aside from shock, how does your Fiance feel about everything? What is he leaning more towards?
Post # 17
Wow, thanks everyone for all of the different perspectives that you have given. I’m a very open minded person and appericate and can respect everyones point of view. My fiance and I have an appointment Friday morning with our doctor to confirm everything and go from there. I really do feel better today after a good nights rest and time to reflect, and I just want to thank everyone again for their kind words.
Post # 18
bables14: This hasn’t happened to me, but it doesn’t seem that uncommon.
The important thing to remember is that you and your Fiance have options. You can choose to keep the baby, choose to adopt, or choose to end the pregnancy. At the end of the day, the decision you make it going to be the one that is best for your situation. There is no wrong answer, only an answer that is right for you.
Talk it out with your Fiance. See what he is thinking and how he is feeling. Share how you feel as well. Together you can come to a decision on what is best for you both.
Post # 19
bables14: aww i’m sorry that this is so stressful for you right before your wedding! i’m honestly not sure what we would do if we had been in your shoes. we had a scare about 6 months before the wedding, and after that we were both too scared to have sex until the wedding and now we use 2 forms of protection because we realized we are NOT ready. we aren’t financially stable, i’m a grad student, we don’t own a home, etc. we could have made it work, but we likely would have chosen to terminate.
whatever you choose will be a good choice. what is your Fiance thinking? on the bright side, it’s true that if you do keep the baby then your original dress should still fit (one of my bridesmaids was 12 weeks pregnant at my wedding and only had to have her dress taken out a bit).
Post # 20
- Wedding: July 2015 - The Biltmore Ballrooms
Hyperventilate: Um no. When a person posts, theyre open to everyone’s opinion or suggestion. I hope she decides to have the baby. If she does not, that is totally fine too.
Post # 21
bables14: I’m currently 25 weeks pregnant, it was planned and wanted and I was still totally chocked when I got the plus. It’s a life altering moment, regardless what happens after, and I think it’s completely normal to react like that.
If you decide to keep the baby, morning sickness might be putting a damper on the wedding planning/wedding itself. Should that happen, know that there’s medication that you can ask for that will make your life easier. I’m in Canada and got prescribed Diclectin (called something else, but similar in the states) and I’m so incredible grateful for that.
Post # 22
I just want to echo the sentiments of some of the PPs. This is 100% a decision between yourself and your Fiance. There are two options here (well I guess technically three, if you were to consider adoption) and [to a point] none of them can be un-done once the decision has been made.
Think everything through, thoughtfully and carefully (which is seems like you guys are already doing) and then do what is right for you and your Fiance at this time.
No matter which decision you make, it’s going to be difficult. Babies are inherently difficult, what with their refusal to speak English right away (that was a joke ladies, laugh), and making a decision to not have the baby will of course be very emotional, but you have to do what is right for you.
Sending lots of good vibes your way! If it makes you feel any better, there seem to be a lot of random strangers on the Internet who are totally supporting whichever decision you and your Fiance make. 🙂 xoxo
Post # 23
As someone who found out they were 4.5 months pregnant only 2 weeks after having started a new job (and being unemployed for 8 months) I can def tell you you are never “ready” for children. There are always unexpected costs, and things that come in tow with a child. I was told very early on, when I was about 20ish they told me it would be very difficult to have children due to the lining of my uterus. I actually asked my OB in June when I went for my annual how I would go about seeing really if that was true (25 at the time) my boyfriend (now Fi) made it clear he never wanted kids. So, our daughter, Liana was a BIG surprise seeing as how he was told almost the same thing that he may not be able to have kids.
There were a lot of shockers thrown at us and we very obviously were not financially stable when we found out. What I can tell you, is once I found out I cried. I was hysterical. I thought I heard the doctor wrong over the phone. My Fi was 17 hours away and I couldn’t get ahold of him. It was the longest 3 day weekend of my entire life. We had to wait a whole month before my dr could see me. Again, the longest time of my whole pregnancy. in our first apt we found out it was a girl and we really only had like 5 months left. My daughter is my heart and soul. She is the most precious thing I have ever laid eyes on and keeps me mesmerized everyday.
Being a a mother is a gift. It’s a frightening never ending gift. I think it would be a blessing to have a child into your marriage. However, that is a choice for you both. I understand everyone has their own options. Personally, after finding out it would be difficult and maybe not possible for me to have children when I did find out, it was a no brainer for me.
Post # 24
NigerianHair: If you’re into being emotionally cruel, cool. Good for you.
Post # 25
bables14: First off, take some time to get over the shock so that you can sit down, talk it over and come to a good decision for both of you.
Second, there is no right and wrong….only what’s most right for you, both now and overall. There is a strong social taboo about terminating a pregnancy when you’re romantically committed and financially stable, but sometimes it’s not the right time and a more right time will come along. Keeping the pregnancy and not keeping it are both valid options and don’t let anyone else tell you otherwise.
There has been some of “there’s never a right time” ie. “keep the baby, this is a plesant if unexpected surprise!” (which again, goes to speak to the social stigma of abortion within a stable situation, as in that abortion is more understandable in some contexts and less in others) in this thread but honestly, I do believe that in any situation that could be a possible argument but really, we all have to admit that some times are better than others and there’s nothing wrong with being honest about that.
Sending you good vibes.
Post # 26
First off, we are date twins. Second. I think I might be pregnant as well and I am putting off taking that darn test with everything in me. I was having problems with my mirena the other day and discovered that my body expelled it. (fun stuff right) since then I have had all the wonderful symptoms. I suppose if we are pregnant we will keep the baby but life is going to get a hell of a lot harder lol. Chin up, mke the decision that fits both you and Fiance and you will be okay in the end.
Post # 27
- Wedding: July 2015 - The Biltmore Ballrooms
Hyperventilate: thanks for the permission.
Post # 28
Eh, babies are awesome. Plus, you absolutely CAN have1 celebratory glass of champagne at your wedding!. Like Joe Dirt says, “Life’s a garden. Dig it.”
Post # 29
Just be certain that you really want your baby right now.
i had a surprise pregnancy ( not just before my wedding) I was going to get an abortion but I was already 16 weeks and my then bf now husband really wanted the baby ( and he’s Irish and against abortion- anyway he was going to support me either way and said in the end it was my decision -bless his heart)
now my beautiful son is 3 and i love him but still sometimes imagine what it would like to be starting a family now ( we’ve been married a year)
if you have any doubts about wanting your baby now.. Consider other options because you dont want to be thinking what if for the rest of your life.
the first 6 months can be pretty tough with Beene baby but it gets easier!
Post # 30
- Wedding: October 2015 - Fairmont Banff Springs Hotel
NigerianHair: Don’t even go there. That’s so not what this is about.