(Closed) Just found out my fiance of 6 yrs cheated . . . other girl is pregnant

posted 11 years ago in Emotional
Post # 47
Member
403 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

{{{HUGS}}}

Oh man, I am SO sorry you’re going through all this! I can totally understand feeling embarrassed even though you have no reason to be, because it sounds like he was so good at manipulating people that he totally got her, too. What a bastard… He really doesn’t deserve you, and I’m glad you found out before the wedding, too. I wish there was something I could do! 🙁

Post # 48
Member
11324 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

wow. sooo sorry. You are so lucky you found out now! And that you waited!! there is a guy so much better for you out there.

Post # 49
Member
6659 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

OH Cali, I am so sorry!! You poor thing!! 🙁 I’m sorry, but he sounds like a scumbag. Please don’t let him get away with this! Leave him for good and now! Thank you for sharing this with us, we will be there for you 🙂

Post # 50
Member
990 posts
Busy bee

Cali! Many many hugs for you! I know things will work out for you but my heart goes out to you right now as I’m sure you’re devastated by these things! You deserve much, much better!

Post # 51
Member
161 posts
Blushing bee

You are not alone and it is not your fault. Several years ago my daughter was involved with a man who spent Thanksgiving with us and many other days. He worked in politics (as I do) and told her he had a job on a national campaign out of town.  They talked, he’d fly in, send flowers etc.  Then one day she gets a call..he was living with another woman in a totally different state. There was no national job. In fact, there were two other women.  In the end, the three women from three different states got together had dinner and compared notes. He is one sick SOB. They talked to his Dad who said the he knew but had tried everything. 

On january 2nd my daughter will marry a young man with integrity.  You have to kiss alot of toads:)

I’m soo sorry. Six years is a long time but you have a lifetime ahead of you.

Post # 52
Member
2767 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

This guy has mental problems and needs help.  Get rid of him.  And I hope the other girl gets rid of him too.  Clearly all of the problems are with him.

 

Sorry this happened to you.  The best thing to do is move on and don’t give this guy a second chance at all.

Post # 53
Member
546 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Oh my god, I am sick to my stomach for you.  Be thankful you didn’t marry him…Lots of hugs and I wish you so much luck as you try to move past all this.

Post # 54
Member
1765 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

Oh girl, I am so riled up for you. What a horrible thing to find out. You should not feel embarrassed–think of how the other girl is going to feel, how her child will feel–you truly dodged a major bullet. I wish nothing but the best for you and that you can move on and find someone who really deserves you!

Post # 55
Member
2434 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

Caliwed- my thoughts and prayers are with you at this impossibly difficult time.

Miss Snapdragon and Miss Fondue went through something similar over the summer.  They posted about it- and posted follow-ups.  They said it was really hard, but they got through it and are happy now.

I know this might not make you feel better now, but maybe it can give you hope for the future and a sense that it’s best you found out now before the wedding.

 

http://www.weddingbee.com/author/mssnapdragon/

http://www.weddingbee.com/author/msfondue/

Post # 56
Member
1900 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I’m so sorry, Caliwed. I guess the previous issues you posted about have an explanation now. You have dodged a serious bullet and I know it’s hard to think that way now, but you are blessed to have found out now instead of after you married him. Take good care of yourself in the coming weeks – sleep, rest, spend time with loved ones, etc. Be kind to yourself. You have done nothing to be embarrassed about. Disconnect form this man as quickly as possible. Like ripping off a Band-Aid. It’s the least painful and most effective way to get your life back on track. You will feel better soon! Just focus on that – whatever it takes to help you feel better.

Post # 57
Member
37 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: February 2020

Oh, Caliwed. Cry What do you think you’ll do? I second the poster who recommended counselling. You will be the stronger for finding someone outside of the situation who can listen more objectively and help you deal with all the c*** this guy has made for you. Good riddance to him!

Please pass on my condolences to the other girl too. From what you have said, it really sounds like she didn’t know. How horrible for her also to be in this situation. All the best to her and the baby.

We share your pain and anger at this guy. It’s okay for you to grieve, and as others have said, this isn’t your fault or your shame to carry. So sorry…!

Post # 58
Member
5988 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

no advice- just sending lots of positive vibes and hoping you will remind yourself that this cant break you. you will be ok and once you are past the pain and anger you will have a happy life.   take care

Post # 59
Member
1408 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I am so sorry this happened to you! I agree with the other posters- Kick him to the curb ASAP, if you haven’t already. I’d throw everything he owns to the street and change the locks. But I am vindictive like that. Don’t let him back in your life. And, its good you found out before the wedding, not after! This guy sounds like a pathological lier and he perhaps has other mental problems. If I hadn’t seen a post that said you’d never had sex with him (in 6 years?! Wow that takes a lot of strength on your end!), i would say to make an emergency gyno appointment. It sounds like he’s been cheating for a very long time and has been hiding his flings from you. Take care of your health first and foremost- mental and physical- and lean on your friends and family. You should not feel guilty or embarrassed- HE is the one who’s done wrong and it was through NO fault of your own! It’ll take time, but eventually you’ll feel better and  find joy in having escaped his poison.

Post # 60
Member
163 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

We are all here for support – so sorry you had this happen to you – sending thoughts for strength and clarity your way.

Post # 61
Member
653 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I am so so sorry for you! Please be strong and stay true to yourself. I know it sucks now but everything happens for a reason and you will come out of this much stronger and wiser.

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