(Closed) Just found out my fiance of 6 yrs cheated . . . other girl is pregnant

posted 11 years ago in Emotional
Post # 107
Member
148 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010 - Ceremony: Catholic Church, Reception: Hotel Ballroom

I am so sorry that you’re going through this.  Take care of yourself, and stay strong!

Post # 108
Member
705 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

Wow…what a shock. I am with the rest of the hive…I am so sorry you have to go through this!!

Post # 109
Member
1732 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I’m so sorry Caliwed!  I know it hurts like hell right now, but I promise you this is for the best.  Infidelity is so hard to deal with, but at least now you can move on.

You have nothing to be embarassed about.  This is not your fault in any way!

Post # 110
Member
473 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I’m so sorry Caliwed. I know it’s really hard to go through something like this.

It reminds me of a situation I went through almost 10 years ago. When I was 19 I found out my boyfriend/fiance cheated on me. (He proposed and I asked to wait because I was so young… but we had plans to marry and be officially engaged within a year). 

Anyways, I come to find out that for 6 months he had been cheating on me. He gave her my ring and got her pregnant. The whole time he was planning a life with me and one with her at the same time – they were even starting to look at houses together!  It was a really hard time for me, but in the end, it was SO much better. It was the best thing that ever happened to me! 

I know it’s hard to think now, but in no time at all you’ll be back on your feet and you’ll meet a man who deserves you.

Post # 111
Member
8011 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

Makes you wonder how delusional he was to think that he could get away with it.  Stay strong!  You deserve so much better!

Post # 112
Member
31 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2009 - Devil's Thumb Ranch, Colorado

So sorry to hear this, darlin’. That is soo stressful, disappointing, upsetting, maddening, and all of the above. You’re better off to have found out now. Things will turn around and you will be happier than you’ve ever been.

Post # 113
Member
212 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I can safely say i had been here…My ex , who happened to been my first hubby ,cheated on me ..i didn’t sense anything was weird either , till 1 day he tells me that we need to go to marriage counceling , couldn’t fathom why ..then a friend suggested , since my ex spent alot of time online , i go see what it was about ..and found out he was telling WOMEN ..that he loved them, that he was divorced , that he was WIDOWED , that he was single ..and that night we were to have dinner together, so we went out , i asked him , if he ever told woman these things, he denied it , i said ur full of it…Long story short , 1 day he went to work , and when he came home i wasn’t there anymore ..I took what i wanted/needed ,took what i had in a savings bank ( he never had a chance to add his name to it ) ..and called my family ( who he was trying to pull me away from) ..and said i’m coming home ..also called landlord told him was leaving ( if u rent , u may want to think about that ) , called bills that were in my name and told them was movin ( again u may want to think about that ) ..and called a lawyer ..free consultation ( if u own or rent anything together  ,may b good idea)

I know its hard , i had a song everytime i’d hear it i’d think of him ..and eventually u will too ..its called ” f*uck i don’t want you back ” , by Eamon .. Everything does work out for the best ..your lucky u found out now , and not later .i know it doesn’t matter , its still hurts , but trust me when i say , if u had a child or anything , god knows what would happen …The guys a scumbag ..and so far you only know this 1 girl …There could be OTHERS ..or 1 night stands ..so …You should count your blessings…yes things will be hard , yes ur trust in men has diminished some ..just remember not all men are a-holes ..and your best thing , is to put on a damn good dress, go out with ur girls ..and HAVE FUN ..Hawk the ring, or anything else he may have given u , if it will help u …burn the stuff animals ..maybe take some of stuff u gave him ..and RETURN it .. U will be okl ๐Ÿ™‚ U have friends and family ..ur not alone …ANyways , thats the best i can tell u …hope everything turns out ok for u ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 114
Member
1509 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I am so very sorry that this happened to you.  Like the other ladies said, at least this happened before you married him and had children with him.  There is someone better for you out there. 

Post # 115
Member
1011 posts
Bumble bee

I’m sorry that you’re going through this.  I am extremely impressed with your strength and know that others will be strengthened by it as well.

Please encourage the other woman to have the baby if that’s what she wants.  AND TO MAKE SURE SHE FILES FOR CHILD SUPPORT . . . in most states, she can wait to do it and he’ll be stuck with back support.  I suspect he wants he to have the abortion because he doesn’t want to be financially responsible for his “decisions.”  However, he really needs to live with the consequences of his actions (for the next 18 + years).  I think if you can encourage the baby’s mother to go after him in this way, you’ll both become winners.  In fact, you could even be there for her to help keep him from getting custody/visitation based on his deceitfulness.

Post # 116
Member
1508 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

My thoughts and prayers are with you. Please take care of yourself. I hope you have family or friends to spend the holidays with.

Post # 117
Member
166 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

((Hugs)) and I’m sending good thoughts your way that you found out in a better way then I did. I walked in on my ex with another chick and then after we broke up he had the nerve to tell me all the details of the multiple times he cheated on me. But it’s ok since I ended up with his best friend!

Post # 118
Member
97 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Just wanted to chime in and give you lots of (((((HUGS)))))!!!  I’m with all the other Bees….plus I’m so proud you are able to even think in this situtation, let alone be logical!  ๐Ÿ™‚ 

Post # 119
Member
1637 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I’m so sorry this happened to you. It makes me sick to my stomach to think that someone you trust can do something so disgusting.

It happened to me with my ex (we weren’t engaged) but together for years and then I find out he’s cheating and surprise she’s pregnant, althought that <cough>skankslutho<cough> did know about me but just had no regard for my feelings, well being, or any class. I look back on it now 5 years later and thank my lucky stars that fate helped that happen. I am now engaged and marrying the love of my life.

The man you were meant for will be there for you and you’ll be relieved and thankful when you find him and realize that fate had a hand in this horrible situation. I’m still very sorry for the pain and anger you are going through right now.

Did you kick him out yet? Have you seen him? Has he come up with any other excuses? Also you have NOTHING to be embarrassed about. You tell your friends/family the wedding is off and let him explain to his guests what a sleezeball he is and why the wedding is kaput.

Post # 120
Member
298 posts
Helper bee

*hugs*  There is a lot of good advice is in here.  I just hope you take care of yourself and lean on family and good friends. *more hugs*

Post # 121
Member
2000 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

Wow, F him!! That is horrible! I am so sorry! I know how you feel, I was with a guy for 5 years & he cheated on me multiple times…but I heard about it from people and he owned up to hanging out with the girls, but never “hooking up”, (like I’m stupid or something)

I’ve also listened to voicemails with girls on them! It hurts so bad & I am sooo sorry ๐Ÿ™

You will find someone who will treat you WAY better than that guy ever did! Best of luck to you girl!

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