(Closed) Just found out we are pregnant…what to do

posted 6 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 333
Member
47187 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@pierce8:  I am responding after your post #299. I know you are probably still overwhelmed with everything that is happening in your life right now. I will fully support whatever decision you make (as I would for any woman). I find many of these responses insufferable.

I brought up my kids as a singe parent and worked 12 hour shifts as a Registered Nurse.

Has the idea of a live-in sitter/nanny occurred to you? That’s what I did and it was perfect. I did not have to deal with the hassle of taking the kids out to daycare. The sitter was in the next room.

You could work days or nights- either way the sitter would care for the child while you were at work/sleeping or while your husband is getting some much needed sleep.

Wishing you all the best.

Post # 335
Member
47187 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@BellaDee:   I wouldn’t be suggesting a sitter if I didn’t understand that already.I just wanted her to know that some of us support her no matter what decision she makes. Not all of us are trying to push our own agenda and beliefs on other people.

Post # 336
Member
633 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@pierce8:  A little late to joining the party, but I’m very happy that you and Fiance have reached a decision.

Luckily, Iowa has some good opprotunities for nurses. If I were you, I would explore working weekend option (12hrs saturday and sunday, get full time benefits).

However, not to be a debbie downer, but I would encourage you to manage your expectations about FH’s salary post graduation. I think you said he would be making 100k right out of school. Unfortunately, those of us who go into professional school have a skewed idea of what salary potential we will have post graduation.

A very good friend of mine is currently at Palmer and will be joining a successful practice post graduation. Although he is going into an established practice that is booming – he will be making a salary of “only” $54k. Keep in mind the median salary of a chiropractor is 67k.

That’s still an awesome salary, when paired with your nursing salary (Even if only part time) you guys will be doing well above the national average. But, just keep your expectations in check. Because paying off those $200k loans is quite the mouthful.

Post # 337
Member
181 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@pierce8:  SO excited for you two!  Congratulations!!

Post # 338
Member
853 posts
Busy bee

I love how posters are insistent on stating that those who paint parenthood in a good light are trying to sway the OP, yet painting abortion in a good light is fine and not trying to influence at all I guess.

 

Anyway OP, I’m so happy you’ve made the decision you feel is best for you. Your update (that BellaDee posted) really makes it sound like you are slowly warming up to the idea. I hope you have the healthy, happy baby that you are hoping for and maybe even a girl like your Fiance dreamed it would be. And don’t worry, you sound like you two will be great parents, plus your family support network and future financial situation sound ideal. All the best 🙂

Post # 339
Member
4431 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@julies1949:  neither was I.  If you read my earlier posts on this Thread. I was just letting you know if the update because your post suggested she did not mame up her mind already   Was just filling you in since she’s been posting on the nesting board for days now. 

 

 

Post # 340
Member
510 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Been thinking about you OP, and I am glad that you’ve come to a decision that is right for you.  Best of luck!

Post # 341
Member
996 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@urchin:  Oh lord. I’m getting really tired of stating the obvious over and over again. AGAIN we will just agree to disagree.

Post # 342
Member
5399 posts
Bee Keeper

@IowaDDS13:  However, not to be a debbie downer, but I would encourage you to manage your expectations about FH’s salary post graduation.

 
Yes, this exactly. I wanted to say this earlier also, but wasn’t sure how to without being perceived as negative. Making 100k fresh out of chiropractic school would be extremely rare, and would not be a good thing to pin your hopes on because the likelihood is very slim.

Post # 343
Member
859 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@pierce8:  I just wanted to say that I had replied earlier when you first posted and I thought to check back tonight. I am so, so excited to hear y’all are planning on welcoming your baby into your loving family! Congratulations and I think you made the right choice!!

Post # 344
Member
1938 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@BlondeMissMolly:  +1 on that. Darling Husband and I were both told we would make MUCH more right out of the gate than is realistic! That being said, its still a very livable income (we are not chiropractors, but still). 

I agree with the manageable expecations. I might be a pessimist but I always think its better to assume you will live on less than what is realistic. 

Post # 345
Member
560 posts
Busy bee

@pierce8:  Hi! Fellow unplanned pregnant bee here. Even though I am 31 I totally get you. My boyfriend and I are not engaged though.

We had to make the decision…do we get married now because of this baby? Our answer- NO

You do not have to give up the wedding you have always dreamed of. When I first found out I was pregnant I wanted to run to the court house and forgo my dreams just to try and save face. But what will that accomplish for me in the long run? probably a lot of regret to be quite honest.

I know I am going to encounter a lot of people who think we are stupid for keeping it and are moving too fast (we have only been together for 10 months) but only we know our relationship and we know that we are strong and can do it.

If you are confident in your relationship you can do it. I understand that the pregnancy will be tough as a nurse. I am a teacher and weeks 6-9 were so difficult..my students were asking me why I was being lazy because I was so sick I could barely stand. But I am holding on.

Money is going to be an issue for you-no doubt about it. If you decide to keep your baby you will find a way to make it work. Try to find a support system.

I don’t know what else to say except I totally feel for you and I am just as scared even though my situation is a little different. hugs!

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