(Closed) Just Friends?

posted 10 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
638 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2007

Hey –  I kinda feel like it’s ok for my guy to have girl friends and me to have guy friends – as long as these friends are also OUR friends.  So maybe suggest to him that you’d like to get to know this girl better.  Suggest a happy hour one night – maybe with you two and a couple of his co-workers.  If he has nothing to hide he should want to share his friends with you.  Guys & Girls.

For example I’m friends with a guy from a work thing I was involved in.  He’s recently divorced so he’s been more social and we’ve been emailing more often.  I’ve invited him out with groups of us so that he gets to know everyone, but especially my husband.  If we’ve been emailing during the day – usually that night it’s included in a conversation with my husband.  Adam told me blah blah blah.  I think it’s when these relationships are ‘secretive’ and private that they raise suspicians.  You don’t want your spouce to begin emotionally relying on a friendship with someone of the opposite sex – that would replace that part of your relationship.

I do agree you can have a strong friendship with other girls/guys – there’s just a fine line to make sure that strongest best friend/emotional relationship is with your spouce.  I’ve always had a ton of guy friends.  Really close guy friends.  I’m still friends with most of them, but there was a definite change when I met my husband and we got married.  Not on purpose – the relationships I had with them just morphed.  And my husband is now friends with all those people.

You have valid concerns – just be honest with your guy.  Hopefully he’ll love you enough to know you arne’t ‘accusing’ him of anything – just that you’d like to know his friends better – and that it’d make you more comfortable.

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