Post # 1
Reading 5 steps to take if your man hasn’t proposed… woops!
I guess I shouldn’t have been on these types of sites with my SO in the same room. I closed my laptop slightly and he questioned what I was looking at, to which I said, “I was just on Facebook”, which was a mistake because he immediately thought I was looking at an ex’s page (not that I could because I’ve blocked them all) and the last thing I wanted was for him to think that, he had an ex cheat on him repetitively so thats not a place I want to go. I thought it would be better to show him the page and have him know I was anxious (as if he didn’t already know) rather than have him worried about anything so came clean. Luckily, he didn’t freak out and we had a really great conversation about it. Thank god I stayed calm because he kept saying, “you’re just going to get mad at whatever I say” But I was clear about what I wanted and he opened up about being nervous about the relationship changing with the pressure of being married… to which I replied, personally I think getting married would take a huge pressure off the relationship. YAYY for being honest.
He told me: It will happen, he wanted to get married too, he just needed time and promised me he wasn’t waisting my time. As if I would ever think of our relationship as a waste of time…. even if I have to wait another 3 years.
I’m using the mantra, Stay calm and carry on until it happens, I think this is a good place to be. I’m happy!
Anyone else want to get caught on a website? this is a pretty good option…. http://www.yourtango.com/201053427/5-steps-take-if-your-man-hasnt-proposed
Post # 3
I’m glad that he reacted so well. I can’t help but wonder, does he get like that any time your ex’s are brought up? Just because you closed the laptop doesn’t automatically mean that you are looking at your ex’s pages. I know he has had people cheat on him but still, he has to realize you are a different person than them. Good luck with your wait though!
Post # 4
Woops. Glad your guy was pretty cool about the whole thing overall. I have to be honest, if my Fiance was using his laptop but shielding was he was looking at from me, I’d be concerned, too. I’m glad you opened up to him. 🙂
Post # 5
hmmmm… “I closed my laptop slightly and he questioned what I was looking at, to which I said, “I was just on Facebook”, which was a mistake because he immediately thought I was looking at an ex’s page (not that I could because I’ve blocked them all) and the last thing I wanted was for him to think that, he had an ex cheat on him repetitively so thats not a place I want to go. I thought it would be better to show him the page and have him know I was anxious (as if he didn’t already know) rather than have him worried about anything so came clean.”
Hopefully he gets over the trust issue first and foremost. You shouldn’t have to be giving him an explanation about what you’re looking at online, that’s your private business. The fact that he’d just automatically assume you were looking up an ex raises a bit of a red flag.
Post # 6
Is he always like that? I don’t think my guy has ever once asked what I was looking at on my computer, in several years together. You really shouldn’t have to explain yourself.
Post # 7
In his defense I looked pretty guilty, he walked towards where I was sitting and I closed my laptop blatantly so he couldn’t see it. It was pretty obvious and he probably couldn’t have seen what I was looking at anyways but I really didn’t want to be caught looking at that stuff. We are really open with each other so it was out of character for me to be so secretive.
Ex’s are actually never brought up and he really isn’t the jealous type I think it was just a combination of things that made him suspicious. I was more happy about the way we reacted 🙂
Post # 8
Pfft, I bought AND READ these two books in front of SO – even shared some of the info with him that we both found interesting. Or at least he lied and said it was interesting as well…
Post # 9
I wasn’t subtle at all. I was shy about the topic at first, but once we had decided we did want to get engaged soon, I got soooo impatient. After MONTHS of birthdays, christmas, out of town vacations, and all sorts of “perfect moments” I got so frustrated I finally said “if you don’t get around to proposing soon then I’d rather you not. I’m getting to built up waiting and waiting, it’s just turning into a constant let down and ruining all the moments that I thought you were going to. Not to say I want to end things, I want to be with you married or not, but I’m tired of waiting for you to ask me!” he said “Geez! I’m trying to, but it takes a lot of effort to plan the perfect proposal!” but it was all good. His perfect proposal was on a beach in Hawaii under a full moon. Sometimes getting “caught” is great to help get the ball rolling. But after the “talk” waiting is miserable!
Post # 10
That’s good that it opened up a positive dialogue about it! Sometimes I think that all the waiting ladies who haven’t yet talked about it with their SOs should purposefully get caught looking at wedding stuff because it seems to be THE single thing that opens up that dialogue and gets the ball rolling for 99% of us here, haha.