Post # 1
I’ve been on this board a while now, but my boyfriend officially proposed last week, so now we are engaged.
Since then, I have not stopped getting the ”when is the wedding?” question, along with other detailed questions about our wedding, which doesn’t exist yet!! And one person wanted to throw me an engagement party already…another is talking about throwing me a shower! We just got engaged!!! Leave us alone and let us breathe!!
Am I crazy? I’d probably be less annoyed if I didn’t have the stress of my parents currently selling my childhood home. My parents said they cannot even think about the wedding until the house is sold. The whole thing is making our engagement bittersweet, in some respects.
Post # 3
@childofthe1980s: Aww, sorry to hear! It’s okay to just tell people “RELAX ILL TELL YOU WHEN EESH” sometimes. 😀
Post # 4
@childofthe1980s: Just tell them that your enjoying your engagement right now trying to take everything in and that your not thinking about the wedding yet but when you do set a date you’ll let them know! =)
Post # 5
Although it is surprising and a little annoying most people are just happy for you and inquisitive. I would’nt let it stress you out. Just be happy everyone is as excited as you two are.
I just got engaged Friday and I’ve received all kinds of questions already from family and fiends…when’s the big day? Did you know it was coming? Whose moving in with who?, what are you going to do about your house?, are you ready for kids? (He has 2), why so quickly? (We’ve been datiing 11 months), are you pregnant?, etc… Some are find others not so much. i just answer that it just happened and were working on it but just enjoying being engaged at the moment. Now sadly I’m lying because we’re getting married in two weeks but I want to get the plan together before we tell anyone that.
Post # 6
When I got engaged, I called my mother on the way home (He proposed at a meaningful restaurant) to tell her the news. She immediately began bombarding me with similar questions. I had been engaged for like… 20 minutes. This went on probably for about a week. I didn’t plan anything out of spite for a month or so.
Just shake your head, sigh and move on. It’s the easiest way to handle it, I’ve found.
Post # 7
Oh I totally get your frustrations but just realize everyone is just excited for you. I know when we got engaged about a year ago, I just wanted to keep it to ourselves for a day because I want to just savor the moment without anyone bombarding us with questions. That went out the window about an hour after he propsed when he called his mom and then my mom. He was just really excited and I don’t blame him. But the first question out of my mom’s mouth was when is the wedding. And that seemed to be everyone’s first question. But just smile and say we are just enjoying being engaged and when the time is right we’ll start thinking about dates and details.
Post # 8
The questions never stop, even when you pick a date. Then the questions come in about what your dress looks like, your bridal party, the food, the decor, etc. Never ending!! 😉
Enjoy our engagement & congrats!!
Post # 9
@MsAmandaAnn: I will try. Its okay….now everyone is busy asking my parents if they have sold the house yet. The engagement isn’t even being talked about anymore. At the family Passover Seder last night, when my uncle and aunt asked about our wedding, my dad cut them off and said “no talking about that until the house is out of the way!!”
Post # 10
First of all, CONGRATULATIONS!!! Second of all, you’re not the only person who viewed being engaged as a big deal in and of itself. It’s important to not always be focused on “the next step” and to enjoy things as they happen in the moment. I wanted to enjoy just “being engaged” and the happiness it entailed. The stress of planning a wedding is what you make of it, but it’s just a time when you don’t have a lot of free time that doesn’t get consumed with wedding plans. I wanted a few months to just be happy and celebrate.
I actually thought this might have been my post from when I got engaged! I said the EXACT same thing. I got engaged on a Saturday and by the end of the day Monday, I was in tears. I was so happy to get engaged and nobody seemed to even care about talking about the proposal or wishing us well– it was a barrage of “Do you have your photographer locked in yet? If you don’t, you’re crazy and your wedding is pointless because if you don’t have a good photographer then it’s all for nothing” and “You’re going to cover your chairs, right? Uncovered chairs are so uncouth and really tone down the elegance of an event. I simply hate uncovered chairs and it’s well worth the $1,500!” and my personal favorite…. “You’re doing open bar– It’s really not a question since it’s tacky to invite someone to a party and then make them pay for their food and drinks. Even if youprovide food, it’s still rude to make someone pay for drinks. I know you definitely wouldn’t do that.” Then I got the “I’d better be invited!!!” from people I wasn’t even close with. It was just a clusterfuck of stress. I completely feel for you sweetbee (ya like that?).
Another aspect I can relate to is that we didn’t know at that point if our families would be helping. I knew mine would, but to what extent they’d be able to I wasn’t sure. my mom had been sick with breast cancer a couple years prior and they own multiple properties and just took a big hit. I didn’t want to stress them out either. So when people kept telling me how much I needed to spend (on say, an open bar) and how tacky it would be if I didn’t, I just felt so overwhelmed that I couldn’t afford the wedding I didn’t even WANT (you know, the one with the open bar and chair covers).
I agree that people are just excited and happy for you but it’s completely okay to just say “We’re just enjoying being engaged and celebrating our relationship. I’ll let you know as I know”. I didn’t talk about it at work and I just let it die down. Now the people who ask are people I’m close to or it’s just “How’s your planning going?” vs “YOU NEED TO DO THIS NOW” ahahaha
Post # 11
The same thing happened here!!! I finally answered the when and where question a month or so ago. Take your time, do not feel rushed, and take it with a smile. People are just excited, and maybe a little envious, of your situation so don’t worry about it!