(Closed) Just got engaged but VERY confused, please help!

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 17
Member
76 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

do you have romantic feelings for your brother? That is the first question. (not juding the situation)

Post # 18
Member
373 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

Well, sorry some of what has been said isnt considered ‘helpful’ to you, because its not what you want to hear. But its a little peculiar that you feel like its emotional cheating with your fiance against your brother. And you cant tell people not to comment because you dont consider it ‘helpful’, but the post sounded very much like a troll post initially. 

Post # 20
Member
7448 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

Sounds like you’re a little too emotionally invested in your brother and your family. Time to leave the nest, birdie.

Post # 21
Member
1624 posts
Bumble bee

CelticGirl355:  It really doesn’t sound like your heart is commited fully to your fiance, so yes, if you prefer to hang out with your brother, break up with the poor guy and let him find someone who loves him with her whole heart. If my husband felt like being married to me was emotionally cheating on his brother and I would definitely not want to stay married to him.

Post # 22
Member
2868 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

CelticGirl355:  Does your brother have a girlfriend?

Post # 23
Member
2013 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

[content moderated for name calling]

Post # 24
Member
571 posts
Busy bee

[comment moderated for baiting]

  • This reply was modified 5 years, 3 months ago by  mandipandi.
Post # 26
Member
76 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I dont thnk your fiance’ and brother should be looked at in the same light. I am close to my brother too but I have a relationship outside of him. If you arent in love with your fiance’ hen maybe you should take a step back but not nt o your brother. The situation does seem a little unsettling but it could just be the words you are using. What is it about your brother he finds weird? Honestly, if my fiance’ had a this strong of a relationship with his sister I would be bothered. (still not judging) Also, I dont think people should be attacking her… whatver the sitaution is …. its her sitaution…. not saying it a good situation at all.

Post # 27
Member
768 posts
Busy bee

Definitely do not string your Fiance along if you have these type of doubts. It’s unfair to compare him to your brother. 

I think you need to look into getting some therapy because I am sory to say, this relationship you two have is unhealthy.  

Post # 28
Member
454 posts
Helper bee

My brother and I are really tight too, but he’s happy for my engagement, and I know that while I’ll never have another brother-relationship because he is so cool, my relationship with my fiance surpasses that relationship by far!! 

If you can’t stop comparing your fiance to your bro, maybe you should break up with him.  We can’t tell you what to do, so don’t demand for us to just tell you what you want to hear.

Post # 29
Member
76 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I do compared somethings with my brother … bu its like things on how he treats me and how hard working he is…. but I honestly did the same with my dad. (such a daddys girl) But I think it is a bit extreme as far as looks and stuff. I am not saying this to be mean but it seems alittle odd for these feelings you are having. I would do some serious soul searching and praying to see what have you having these thoughts… and be honest with yourself.

Post # 30
Member
59 posts
Worker bee

ummmm i sorta understand OP in a weird way. i don’t have a brother or anything, but sometimes i would worry about if i’m not spending enough time with my family.

wellllllllll……………… eventually your brother will be married too, has his own family and kids. the feelings (or what ever you call that) you have for your brother now might be becuz he is the first significant male figure in your life. almost like a dad’s love but around your age.

i guess the propor suggestion would be. relax… don’t over think about it. your future husband should be the one most close to you. your bother has his friends / gf (if he does) and his life. he will always be your brother, and will not be dissapointed at you having another male before him in your life.

 

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