Post # 1
I was so excited to get engaged, and I have been thinking about my wedding since I was a little girl. But now that I am engaged and starting to actually plan my wedding, I am freaking out. I was kind of counting on my sister to set me on the right track, but she is busy with work and she is moving in with her boyfriend soon. So, I am taking to the bee. I don’t know how to get started, how to budget, etc. As far as I know (because no one has offered to help me), I am doing this all on my own. I’m just a lowly legal assistant and I don’t make that much money. Meanwhile, I made a list of just family (on my side) that exceeds 75 people. Is it wrong for me to give my family an ultimatum to either cough up some dough for all of the family they want to invite or let me axe some of the family members who are not constants in my life? I don’t mean to sound like a bridezilla, but I just don’t have the money for all of these people and my close friends (who I would be heartbroken to axe from my wedding list). Does anyone have any advice?
Post # 3
@sbottiani: If you and your Fiance are paying for the wedding (or just you) you can tell your family you have “x” number of invites. And they’ll have to figure out who gets and invite and who doesn’t.
You can also make your wedding guest list, run it by them and say we have “x” more seats (or this is all we can accomodate/afford) and see what happens from there.
Post # 4
First off, I would suggest using the wedding planning tools provided on the Knot. They have a great to-do list sorted by date, and a budgeter that will help you plan your finances. Have you two set a budget yet? That’s one of the first things you have to do before you start figuring out guest lists. Then after that find a venue within your budget. Once you have your venue and the cost per head, then you can match it up with your budget to see how many people you can afford to come. Sometimes you may find an amazing deal and not have to pay a lot per person so you can invite more people.
After that, tell your family how many you can invite. Let them know who’s not making the cut. That way there are no surprises later when your third cousins don’t receive an invite. Your parents may feel that person HAS to be there, so they may then offer to pay. But if they don’t offer, then that person is off the list
Post # 5
First congrats on getting engaged!! The first thing FH and I did was set a budget for the entire wedding. Before I started doing anything, we had a budget. And then we divided that into different components of the wedding. We used the rule of *if we haventseen or spoken to them in 5 or more years, they dont get invited. Family or not*. And that helped with the guest list tremendousy. We arent allowing plus ones or children which saves money as well. Its your wedding and if u dont want certain people there, you dont have to invite them. Youll figure it out. Good Luck!
Post # 6
Cut the guest list. That is the first and foremost thing to do when you’re planning on a budget. I might gently suggest to your parents (IF they’re financially capable) that you may need a little assisstence. If they offer, great. If they don’t, you’re gonna have to reduce that guest list so you can afford it.
Post # 7
Thanks to everyone for your advice. The fam can deal with it or contribute. That’s how I see it. I just needed some validation that I am not being a b****.