(Closed) Just got off phone with my ex- what\'s wrong with him/us?

posted 4 years ago in Relationships
Post # 167
Member
603 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013 - Outdoor

zebra10:  You know, when I first read this I thought you were serious, and I was serious in my reply. After reading the current updates though I’m pretty certain that you are just trolling- every single person on here has told you that this guy is trash, he doesn’t love you, and that a 1.5 hour phone call only means that he was too dang lazy to hang up the phone, but you just keep digging in deeper. So are you just doing this for the attention or do you actually think you are going to get support from us in winning this pos back?

Post # 169
Member
1310 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

[content moderated for personal attack]

Post # 172
Member
9041 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

zebra10:  Ok I will bite. You are serious about getting him back despite the fact that it is unhealthy for you. Fair enough your choice.

I suggest you read up on living with/loving narcassists or sociopaths. Not saying he is either of those things but both those personality disorders lack emotion and empathy. It will take you a while to find some articles that have advice because the common advice is to get out for your own health and wellbeing but since you are so determined keep trawling through the articles because there are some with advice on how to live with it.

That said you should probably read some articles on self worth at the same time.

Post # 174
Member
836 posts
Busy bee

i think both of you are crazy people. You are obsessed with a complete psychopath. 

If you continue to pursue this, you really shouldnt complain when he treats you like shit again.

Post # 175
Member
896 posts
Busy bee

Seriously? No 50 shades of grey comment from anyone? The seemingly sexy, alluring, closed off, emotionless, only cares about himself, thinking hes capable of emotion, but all he wants is sex kind of guy? 

 

Listen. This is exactly how the PPs sound next to your posts.

PP- “He only thinks of himself. He is emotionless. Forget about him”

You- “But he only thinks of himself, he is emotionless, so why should I forget about him!”

and repeat.

Im not direct quoting, but thats how this thread seems to be going, Im not understanding your replies; you are repeating his bad traits over and over again and somehow think they sound like a good argument? Im just not quite…I cant…

Im going to add one more thing. Its really hard to give you advice when you keep reminding us that he went out to flirt with a girl he likes at a bar and keeps asking for her picture. You keep saying this like it makes things better, I dont get it. 

 

Post # 176
Member
2158 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Nobody can help you get back together with a psychopath because normal people keep as far away from psychopaths as possible, so normal people cannot advise you. 

Post # 177
Member
2734 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

zebra10:  Okay, let’s turn this around. Have you ever dated a guy you really weren’t into? Someone who was nice enough but you didn’t have feelings for? Maybe it was just one or two dates or maybe it was a relationship but for whatever reason, you didn’t want a future with this guy. If you haven’t, then imagine some obnoxious kid in high school who had a crush on you and you did NOT reciprocate in anyway. You found him annoying and you weren’t attracted to him at all.

Ok so. Now imagine that person desperately chasing you down trying to force you to love him. He called you friday night and you stayed on the phone with him (either because you felt bad and were just being nice, you were bored and had nothing better to do, or you were actually afraid if you hung up he’d go crazy and show up at your doorstep or something). So now this guy has become even more obsessed with you but you still have zero feelings for him. He wants to marry you, he’s planning his life with you, he’s literally scheming and plotting behind your back ways to make you love him and marry him. He thinks about you all day every day and he will literally stop at nothing to make you his forever. This is not the life you want though, you don’t love him. But he’s obsessivley in love with you and is determined to make you his wife whether you like it or not. He analyzes your every move. He stalks you at the gym. He writes about you on the internet to strangers. He has a journal dedicated to every little bit of you, your personality, and everything you’ve ever said to him. He’s obsessed. He’s crazy. He’s scary. No matter what you’ve told him or how you’ve treated him, he’s still obsessed. No matter how many times you told him you aren’t interested, don’t love him, don’t want a future with him, he doesn’t listen – doesn’t care – it doesn’t stop him.

He will stalk you and think about you and show up at your door step, call you, manipulate you, text you, and write about you until you start to go crazy. Doesn’t that sound scary? Terrifying even? Phsycotic? Desperate? Unfair to you? You have no choice in this or your destiny because this man doesn’t listen to what you say. He twists every word and gesture you make to benefit him and his sick twisted fantasy. You’re doomed to be the object of his obsession. That’s not at all fair to you, is it?

That’s what you’re doing to this man. He doesn’t love you, doesn’t want to be with you and you obsessing over him like this isn’t healthy and it’s scary. It’s not fair to him and it’s not okay.

Post # 178
Member
1031 posts
Bumble bee

You can’t help or change someone who doesn’t want it/to. 

Youre not not going to change him, clearly he doesnt care about you. 

You need help, the professional kind, not the internet kind. I suggest you get it. 

 

As as for ‘getting him back’ there is nothing to get. 

 

Move On. 

I would absolutely love to help you, but you’ve made it clear you don’t want that. 

Post # 180
Member
369 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2016

I’m not sure why I’m still reading this thread

Post # 181
Member
3244 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

 

andreab216:  me either, bee, me either. Gives me something to do while I try to clear out my jewellery box!

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