(Closed) Just had my bridal shower and need etiquette advice

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
693 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

 

clattarulo626:  Please tell me you’re joking…NO, you cannot say that!  You write a thank you card for the gift, and either use it or don’t.  Simple as that.

Post # 3
Member
3610 posts
Sugar bee

View original reply
clattarulo626:  I see where you’re coming from, but unfortunately, I think this will cause offense or hurt feelings. They really should have given you a gift receipt. Can you tell where they purchased the gifts based on the packaging? If so, maybe you could call up the store and see if there’s any way they could do an exchange or return (even just for store credit) without a receipt. If not, and you absolutely MUST return the gifts, I would tell a polite white lie and ask for the gift receipt saying you already received the same thing or something similar from someone else.

I’d personally keep the gifts and thank the giver. Who knows, maybe your taste will change in the future and you’ll begin to love all of that glassware.

Post # 4
Member
4521 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

I would, if possible, return to the place where it was purchased. Some stores will do returns without receipts as well. We have this issue too. Certian friends of my Future In-Laws are giving us everything under the sun-and most of it isn’t our style at all! We are genuinely thankful that they think of us so often, but we, too, don’t want their money wasted. However, they’d be crushed if we announced that to them, so we write a truthful note saying “thanks for your generous gift” and into the closet it goes.

Post # 6
Member
693 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

 

clattarulo626:  I just can’t imagine someone thinking that is okay to do?  Really??

Post # 7
Member
4521 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

View original reply
clattarulo626:  While I don’t think you’re joking, phrasing it in any way that could come off as “you wasted your money because we don’t like your gift” would be a serious faux pas.

That said, some of our stuff is totally being returned, donated, or sold on eBay

Post # 8
Member
2160 posts
Buzzing bee

Try to find out where they sell the item and return it for store credit or exchange for something else, sell on ebay or craigslist … sorry it is extremely rude to tell someone you want to return their gift. There is no way. If its someone you’re really close to, like your Mom and you’re comfortable I guess go for it … but I don’t even do that to my parents who virtually always buy me things I don’t want/need.

Post # 9
Member
536 posts
Busy bee

I agree that money is wasted, however I would suggest against any mention of it. Send a card that says thanks and either try to find a store to do the return that you get store credit or try a yard sell site (or this site) and see if someone will buy it. Any way you word what you want to word will come across very rude. You could potential cause drifts and have people not attend your wedding.

Post # 11
Member
413 posts
Helper bee

I haven’t had this problem, but my mother does. She has a huge closet full of stuff with tags of who gifted it to them. She’ll then regift it to someone else who has no relation or knowledge of the person who gifted it to them in the first place. Hence the tags with the gifters names. Sorry if that was confusing. 

Post # 12
Member
2178 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

my feeling is yes it is rude however who is this person that they are close enough to be giving you gifts for your bday and holidays? If its someone really close (your mom/MIL/grandma) then I don’t think I would ask to return it (I would probably just stick it in a closet) but I do think that I would make some time to speak to them about my tastes and how you really appreciate all this lovely crystal and it was such a nice gesture but its not necessary…. sounds like she is trying to build you a callection and this type of gifting isn’t going to stop any time soon

Post # 14
Member
2505 posts
Sugar bee

I see where you’re coming from, I hate feeling like people have wasted their money on me too, but unfortunately there is nothing you can say that won’t sound rude or hurt feelings. Some gifters buy people things they themselves like instead of what the receiver likes or needs. It’s not ideal but it happens to everyone.

Post # 15
Member
479 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

If you know were it came from trying returning it for store credit, resell on craigslist or anything like that but don’t mention anything about gift reciepts or wasting their money.  I would just say you greatly appreciate their gift. (even if you don’t) I wouldn’t want to receive a note like that from anyone.  

  • This reply was modified 5 years, 3 months ago by  MissNC.

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