(Closed) Just had my bridal shower and need etiquette advice

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 16
Member
693 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

 

clattarulo626:  If I took the time to choose a gift for someone I thought they would like, and they responded with the statements you are making about it being a waste of money… I (and, I’d argue most people) would be INCREDIBLY offended.  I would not again waste my time OR money buying you another gift.  Ever.

Post # 18
Member
208 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

View original reply
clattarulo626:  I would just tread carefully.  Some people are really easily offended, and you’d probably hate to start out with in-laws holding stupid grudges against you. 

If there are people you know really well and don’t think they’d be offended, then go for it. But standard etiquette seems to be you accept each gift gracefully. Then figure out if you are going to keep/store/sell it later…

  • This reply was modified 5 years, 2 months ago by  mattadoresme. Reason: Edit - saw your previous comment
Post # 19
Member
620 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

View original reply
clattarulo626:  We got several wedding gifts that were not on our registry. While we were returning items from our registry to Macy’s (duplicate items or things we ended up not wanting/needing), we brought in a few items that were not on our registry and we didn’t know where they came from. Those included a crystal picture frame and a set of knives. Macy’s scanned them, and turns out they were in their database, so they took them back and gave us store credit! It was a pretty sweet deal, ESPECIALLY because they returned the knives for more than the price sticker said! (Yes, it had been left on, but no indication as to what store).

But please don’t tell the gift givers you’re returning it or don’t need it. It is a gift, and you can’t be picky about what it is. Just say thank you 🙂

Post # 20
Member
766 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
clattarulo626:  I think it’s too late for this gift, but I think you should find a way before the next gift-giving occasion to mention in passing that you have plenty of fine glassware.  There are some things that, even if you like them, you only need so much of! 

Post # 21
Member
52 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

My friend received a lot of glasswares and figurines that were not on her registry about 4 years ago. She decided to keep them and she re-gifted some to her close co-workers whom she knew would very much enjoy the gift. But now that she bought her own place she said all of the closeted items are out and are being displayed. She was able to use alot of them when she hosted a christmas party for the first time at her own place. I think you should go through them and see if your close family needs them which you can give to, try to return it or keep it may be useful in the future. 

Post # 22
Member
322 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

We had the same problem. We have a very small apartment and we just don’t have the space for some of the gifts outside the registry. I’ve found the department stores will take them back without a receipt.

If they are the type of people that didn’t include a gift receipt with the gift, they will probably be upset if you ask for a receipt, no matter how politely you do it. I think we will have a few items that can’t be returned but I’d rather just hold onto them even if we don’t use them rather than risk hurt feelings. 

Post # 23
Member
2257 posts
Buzzing bee

View original reply
clattarulo626:  Nope, definitely don’t write that.

I’d just list it on ebay if I didn’t want it and didn’t know what store it came from.

Post # 24
Member
5085 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2014

View original reply
clattarulo626:  I agree with PPs that I don’t think you can really say anything. If you can determine the store they bought it from maybe you can get store credit without a receipt. Otherwise, you can regift to someone who the original giver doesn’t know or use it for a Secret Santa or something like that. You can also try to sell it on eBay or craigslist. I think that’s all you can really do. 

Post # 25
Member
192 posts
Blushing bee

View original reply
clattarulo626:  No, no, no. Asking to return/exchnage gifts would be so rude. I would be appalled if you asked me to do this.

 

Post # 26
Member
644 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 1988

View original reply
Tess63110:  THIS X 1000000000000!

… and I would probably rethink attending your wedding.

OP… be gracious in writing your thank you note.

Post # 27
Member
173 posts
Blushing bee

Is it not possible to return for store credit? Or for something you actually could use, without the receipt. Or maybe try reselling online. — Or a third option, which worked for me. I received some gifts from family that I thought were rather mature and I had no use for a couple of years ago (I was engaged once before, at 18 yrs old) and I kept them just to not be rude. Now (at 24) I actually really like some of them and use them any chance I get (holidays, dinner parties) 

 

Not suggesting you sit on gifts for years — but maybe months, to see if you find use for them? Good luck!

Post # 28
Member
848 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
clattarulo626:  No you can’t tell them you want to return it. I would just track down where they bought it at- simple internet research can help you- Macy’s, Bed Bath and Beyond, Dillards, Nordstrom. Just return it and take a store credit and buy something that you will use.

I say start using it- you can use nice crystal for daily use- I use my nice wine glasses all the time, and crystal bowls and stuff put out candy in them, buy flowers and use your vases.

Post # 29
Member
1039 posts
Bumble bee

View original reply
clattarulo626:  It’s a shame you didn’t get gift receipts but if they are really not your thing, try to sell them and if not, keep them for re-gifting in the future.

Post # 30
Member
1611 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

View original reply
clattarulo626:  Similar thing happened to one of my friend’s at her wedding shower. She wrote thank you notes thanking people for the gift as usual. She didn’t have gift receipts but figured out where people has purchased things from the packaging and either returned or exchanged them. Anything she couldn’t figure out she regifted at a later date. Actually quite a few friends have regifted things later on.

The topic ‘Just had my bridal shower and need etiquette advice’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors