(Closed) Just had my bridal shower and need etiquette advice

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 46
Member
431 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2016 - Winery

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clattarulo626:  You feel like you’re getting attacked because you’re letting yourself get offended. You asked an etiquette question; people responded that you probably shouldn’t say anything to the person and that it was better to just send a thank you note. Take away from it what you will. Write a thank you letter or don’t write a thank you letter. Say something to the gift-giver or don’t. You’re an adult.  

Post # 47
Member
1624 posts
Bumble bee

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clattarulo626:  You asked an etiquette question, and you are getting an answer. If you don’t like hearing that what you are considering to do is rude, don’t ask the question on an online etiquette forum. 

Aren’t you the same Bee who got angry when she was told it was rude to expect your Mother-In-Law to pay for your shower?  You are getting the same outcome as last time, so I’m not sure why you are so *appauled.

Post # 48
Member
137 posts
Blushing bee

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clattarulo626:  I also hate wasting money and even more I hate it when people waste money on me. I can think of a couple of options for you! You could always go with, someone else got you the same thing and you dont need two of the same set? And then ask for a gift receipt that way, but if you dont like confrontation that wont be the best choice (like me!). I would probably just go to the store they got it from without the receipt and get store credit 🙂 I think no matter how you ask for the receipt they will be offended, so I think store credit is your best option. Or if you want cash, try selling it on kijiji (craigslist)?

Post # 49
Member
664 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Don’t tell them you didn’t like it. Just say thank you and then re-gift or sell the items, especially the fine glassware. You can give that to friends who are getting married or who often host dinner parties or who are just fancy.

But if it was me, I would sell it. There are TONS of resale sites out there nowadays.

Post # 50
Member
7508 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

If there were a “lot” of gifts purchased off-registry, maybe your registry is to blame. Like if you have chosen too many high-ticket items, it might put people off. I know if I look at a registry and I see a lot of expensive stuff, it puts me off and I just go with a cash gift. You might want an impartial third party to review your registry.

Post # 51
Member
787 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Sell it on Kijiji or re-gift it.  No sense in keeping clutter around but I agree that it’s very rude to take it up with the giver.

Post # 52
Member
251 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

My shower is coming up and I’m also worried about this. From what I’ve heard from friends and have seen on here, it’s pretty common for stores to let you return an item without a gift receipt, so hopefully you can figure out where it was from and get the money instead or trade it for something you like. I probably wouldn’t ask for a gift receipt, unless you tell them you already got the same gift or something like that, but maybe make it a point to mention to the people who keep giving you stuff you don’t need that you really don’t need it anymore. Maybe even have family/friends spread it by word of mouth. 

Personally, I wouldn’t be offended if asked for a gift receipt (then again, I would always make sure to include it) but I would still be careful if asking because people get offended at anything and everything anymore. Idk why they would waste their time and energy being upset about it, but that’s people for ya lol. Good luck and I hope whatever you decide to do works out!

Post # 54
Member
47377 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

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clattarulo626:  Trust me, no one remembers everyone’s old threads. They just click on your username to see if you have made any other outrageous (in their mind) posts so they can bolster whatever arguement they are using at the time.

Please try to remember that you won’t gain anything throwing barbs back. You are conversing with strangers. Learn fron their answers to your questions but don’t take every response personally.

Post # 55
Member
455 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I wouldn’t expect further gifts from these gift givers if you approached them with the “Thanks, but no thanks, we’ll find something better” approach.  I’d just find a store that sells the item and return it for store credit or regift the items.  You could be putting them in an awkward position if they’re regifting or if they purchased on non-returnable clearance.

Post # 57
Member
2010 posts
Buzzing bee

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molokoa:  I was thinking the same thing. Although I couldn’t remember what it was about, her picture seemed familiar and for some reason I had a feeling something similar has been done before.

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clattarulo626:  Honey if you don’t ever like the responses you get, why continue to come back for advice/input? Unfortunately you have no need for some of the gifts. It happens. It is however bad etiquette to mention anything to the gift giver. If you don’t like a gift, just sell it on eBay or something but you don’t actually tell the gift giver that their taste in stuff is crap. As for why people get so passionate about these type of topics (“so offended”), it’s because sometimes you need to be extra emphatic about things in order to get your point across. If those people had posted something along the lines of a simple, “I don’t think it’s appropriate”, I guarantee you would get some OPs who think, “Hmmm, no replies seem to think it’s really 100% bad, I’ll take my chances” and end up making a huge etiquette faux pas. The bees are just trying to be helpful (which is what you said you wanted). You obviously knew there was a chance it would cause offense otherwise you wouldn’t have even posted this thread, right? No need to be so snarky in response.

Post # 58
Member
81 posts
Worker bee

you could try to resell some of the things i love this app called 

” offer up” look it to it its like a yardsale online 

and  yea saying you dont want or like or need it is rude 

sucks bc one time i got a glass chicken like what 22 year old would want that?

lol and i dont even remember what i did with it.lol

 

Post # 59
Member
6518 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

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clattarulo626:  please dont say that. its a real slap in the face, and its also like saying “thanks, but no thanks”

Just send a thank you card and if you know where they were bought, you can return it without a receipt, you will get to exchange it for someting you want or get store credit 

 

Post # 60
Member
1624 posts
Bumble bee

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clattarulo626:  I only remembered because you didn’t spell appalled correctly in your last thread either.

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