(Closed) Just had our wedding marriage blessed!

posted 6 years ago in Catholic
Post # 4
Member
1697 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

wow! lucky! My church said we would have to go through a whole different process if we got married forst and then went to them to legitimize it in the church’s eyes. Everytime I want to elope I think, ugh its gonna be so much easier to just get married at church!

Post # 5
Member
324 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I have to do this- how did it work? How did you approach the priest? What was said/done? Did you do it after a mass? Details, please! I know there are other bees that would want to know too 🙂

Post # 6
Member
538 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

congrats! and yes, do share details about how you went about it! 🙂

Post # 7
Member
542 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@MissTaken: Having your civil marriage blessed is a process officially called a Convalidation. In the ceremony, the priest “validates” your civil marriage to be recognized by the Roman Catholic Church.

Convalidation is not to be considered a replacement for being married in the first place in a Roman Catholic church (and at Mass if both bride and groom are Catholic). This is really a process for those who have strayed from the norm. Usually the church asks that no reception/party take place afterwards since it is a solemn occasion of coming back to the church.

Post # 9
Member
3220 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

I’m glad things worked out for you, but I’m pretty surprised at how casual your priest is… I don’t know if I like it? 

As someone planning to get married in a Catholic church, I feel like people would abuse this to have their cake and eat it, too.  If you want an elopement or destination wedding then by all means have one, but if you want a Catholic wedding I’m not sure you should be able to have your outdoor wedding and then just dash off a marriage certificate and pretend it’s all okay without actually thinking about your views of the sacrament of marriage. 

I think convalidation is a good thing because some people stray and return– but I don’t see how someone would have had time to really come back if they planned on doing this before they were even married. 

 

Post # 10
Member
3220 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

@Luckygir15: Also I’m even more frustrated to see that you said this had nothing to do with “us coming back to the church” as we have no intentions on doing that.  

I just feel like you’re making light of what some people take very seriously– though if that’s not the case, I don’t mean to offend.  

Post # 11
Member
6248 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 1900

@Luckygir15: That’s great!  I didn’t know about this.  Congratulations!

Post # 13
Member
981 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Congratulations! But I have to second that your priest was very laid back and others should not expect the same treatment at their parishes. My brother and SIL were legally married for a year before their church wedding, but still had to take Pre-Cana classes and the Focus test like everyone else!

Post # 14
Member
1697 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Yeah, my hurch would never let us do that without going through the big long ordeal of classes and such…and I go to church every week…for about 12 years now! I volunteer every year for the major fundraisers out in tons of hours but if we got married somewhere else they would make us jump through the hoops. For other bee’s, my sister got married at a mass, a regular old mass with tons of strangers there and then got married in a winery. I think this is easier than doing it the other way around.

As for your situation, I think it is a great illustration about how not all priests are strict, mean and some can be laid back. I admit I am a little ” she got to do that and doesn’t even want to go to church?” But I think it is super great that you did it for your parents. I, personally, would have a VERY hard time not having my marriage recognized by the church but I really hatet that the Catholic church does it that way.

So congrats to you and I am glad it really worked out for your situation. I think you are very lucky ( and I wish I had your priest at my church, but I will be really happy to recieve communion for the first time as husband and wife)Tongue Out

Post # 15
Member
730 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

From what I’ve heard, this isn’t really normal. Normally, a blessing of the marriage would be called a “convalidation ceremony,” and you’d be required to do all the marriage prep classes for getting married originally in a Catholic church.

Post # 16
Member
187 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

As a very proud-to-be Ex-Catholic, I don’t really understand why someone should be critical of your decision to “authenticate” your marriage, as far as Catholicism goes. You should be able to “have your cake and eat it to”, as another poster said.  It’s your wedding and if your dream is not within a church, then you should do what makes you most happy… and if it is also important to have it recognized by the church, then again, your decision.

I’m glad that your family priest was lax about this, as I gather if they required to go through the typical hurtles, considering your admitted beliefs, it probably wouldn’t be worth it to you.  Such as how Fiance and I feel.  While we were both raised Catholic, his family is more practicing than mine and I’m sure, though they’d never admit it, that they would love for us to have a church ceremony.  Oh well.  I’m not going to profess to believe in the majority of what the Catholic church stands for (among which, is antiquated sexism) if they required me to do so.  I am glad it was so easy for you and congrats on six months of marriage!

 

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