(Closed) Just in it to get The Ring.

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
1325 posts
Bumble bee

…..

I totally agree with you! That is so true. If a woman was just in it for the ring, wouldn’t she give up rather quickly and bounce around from guy to guy? Or possibly buy herself a ring and then brag about the ring her Fiance “got” her? (Not that there is anything wrong with buying yourself a ring)

I personally am in it for a ring…. WITH MY LOVER!!! lol  Yes I want that ring, but from him. I want that physical manifestation of commitment from my boyfriend who I am totally committed to. I want that nonverbal message to everyone around me that I am off the “meat market”! 😉

I like the epiphany you just had. I can say for certain if I was just in it for a ring, I wouldn’t stick with my guy through hard times and wait for a ring from him. I would just go find someone who could give me what I wanted now.

Post # 4
Member
485 posts
Helper bee

I totally agree… of course I am looking forward to having that ring on my finger, but it’s more about what the ring symbolises than anything else. A shiny ring means nothing without Boyfriend or Best Friend… so if I had to choose between him and a ring I would choose him every time.

Post # 5
Member
26 posts
Newbee

you know, i’ve thought a LOT about this topic. i think our society makes such a HUGE deal out of weddings now that its not hard to see why someone would “just want the ring” as you put it.  like all these stupid wedding shows on tv about how you have to spend $10000000 just to have a good wedding. its too much!

even i find myself thinking about rings and weddings too much and i’m not even close to getting engaged… that’s why i joined the bee lmao! BUT i do love my bf very much and can honestly say i look forward to being MARRIED, not just having a wedding or getting the ring. 

anyways i guess i’m saying that i do think there probably are some girls who just want the ring, i’m not one of them, but i can kind of understand why its gotten that way…

Post # 7
Member
4755 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I actaully disagree, I’m sorry. I’ve heard it enough to believe there is some truth in it.

The “ups and downs and moolah” is just one of the things you have to endure to get what you want. It’s just a the ‘price’ you pay for something you want. Similarly school, to get your degree, time at work to get your check. I understand exactly what one means when someone says in it to get the ring, dress and party.

Post # 8
Member
608 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I always took that saying as not literally in it for an expensive piece of jewlrey but rather the meaning of being a married women, of hitting that mile marker, being at a certain place by this point in her life type of thing.  

Also I have to share this quick story on this topic.  I had a teacher who litterally told us she got married for the ring.  When we asked more questions the story was that she had been proposed to by two men within a few days of each and she couldn’t decide who to say yes to so in the end she just said yes to the one with the nicer ring.  Her ring was pretty impressive and giant.

Post # 10
Member
246 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Unfortunately there are some women who get married for the party, dress, ring, etc. There is a girl who I went to high school with who got married this past summer. I was kind of shocked because she never seemed like the settle down type of girl. My mom told me that this girl and her new husband were honeymooning in Las Vegas….with their wedding party! I personally wouldn’t honeymoon with my friends but I shugged it off. Then I found out from this a friend that the reason behind the “group honeymoon” is because the bride can’t stand to be alone with her husband for more than a few days because he gets on her nerves. Now how do they live with each other, well this friend who told me about the reasoning behind the honeymoon lives with them. Oy Ve! I’m glad the hive isn’t like this!

Post # 11
Member
3587 posts
Sugar bee

It is silly. I can go buy my own ring or any other kind of jewelery, so it’s moot. I want a promise to be together forever from THAT MAN, not any old man. 🙂 I want marriage to HIM, not just a marraige.

 

 

Post # 12
Member
4755 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@authentic: I do get what you’re saying. But I have heard stories where all these women are just push push push to get married and sometimes it sounds like all they want it the ring and party. So it just depends.

Not ALL women want the ring and the party- certainly not. I mean if that’s all I wanted I’d be long gone. My ring is “small” but that’s not what mattered to me.

Post # 12
Member
4755 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@authentic: I do get what you’re saying. But I have heard stories where all these women are just push push push to get married and sometimes it sounds like all they want it the ring and party. So it just depends.

Not ALL women want the ring and the party- certainly not. I mean if that’s all I wanted I’d be long gone. My ring is “small” but that’s not what mattered to me.

Post # 13
Member
2025 posts
Buzzing bee

I admit, I’m all about sparkly things as much as anybody else, but if I seriously was just in it for a “ring”, I’d save my own money and buy one.

Well said!

Post # 14
Member
185 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Like Snowy414, I take that saying “She’s in it for the ring” as saying that she’s in it to hit that milestone of marriage – however not because she loves her partner – but just because of the idea that women should get married and have families ect. that is put out there and also even to gain financially.

I do know someone like this. Her whole relationship seems like a business transaction. She made sure to find someone who was financially advantageous and pushed the relationship along really quickly to get engaged – meanwhile she has always said she would never get married. To me it seems like she pushed for an engagement because all her friends were getting engaged and because she found someone with money. But that’s just me on the outside looking it – hopefully they live a happy life together.

I do agree that the phrase can get thrown around inappropriately. I think if ppl throwing around the phrase knew what us ladies go through during our “waiting” time – they’d shut up pretty quick. I mean we drive ourselves crazy!  Like PPs have said – if all I wanted was a sparkly ring – I’d go buy the damn thing myself!

Post # 15
Member
26 posts
Newbee

you know what i think is hard? its like, you can work really hard and get a great job and be successful etc. but finding a great guy and falling in love isn’t something you can work hard for.

and i think its hard for some girls out there to not have what other people have… especially good friends/family. so my guess is that there are some girls that settle because they want the lifestyle that they think they should have. which is not necessarily the right thing…

anyone else get what i mean?

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