(Closed) Just Invitiations, no Save the Dates?

posted 10 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
208 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

No, they aren’t necessary. They are a good idea if you will be having lots of guests traveling to your location, if you’re doing a destination wedding, or if your wedding will be on a holiday weekend (or other time when dates may fill up early), or if your guests have particularly hectic schedules. However, they may be "standard protocol" in your social group.

We didn’t send out save the dates for our wedding. Instead we personally notified (email or phone call) the approx 40 people who would have to travel from out of state or who needed lots of forward notice. We also sent our our invitations a little earlier – probably about 10 weeks before the wedding. It worked for us and our guests.

Post # 4
513 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Yeah- we are having a lot of out-of-towners. So we opted to have save-the-dates just so they keep it on their calendars and plan ahead for travelling purposes. Otherwise- if were close to home for us- we wouldn’t have had save-the-dates I am pretty sure.

Post # 5
7052 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

You can send those coming from OOT email STD’s maybe a month before.  Or reference your wedding website in your invite showing the link to it.  There are many free websites you can use btw to show and highlight your weekend and give them all the 411 on your wedding they could possibly want including rsvp, events, and lodging. 

Imho, unless it’s a destination wedding where everybody has to travel to get there, it’s not necessary.  The last 2 weddings I went to did not have STD’s.  They were very very nice affairs as well.  

Trust me, I love to see all the cool ideas since I’ve begun planning yet I know fiscally some of them aren’t really needed.  That yanks me back to reality and I scowl then get I over it.  I love STD’s.  I’ve seen some gorgeous ones.  But no, it’s not a sure thing you have to do.  Dear Abby’s predecessor won’t come knocking on your door along with Martha Stewart demanding to know why you didn’t send them out! 



Post # 6
1813 posts
Buzzing bee

we just did online/email Save-The-Date Cards, since we didn’t have any time/$…then just call the ones that are really important to you & do not have email

Post # 7
10 posts
  • Wedding: August 2009

I don’t think they’re necessary unless you’re having a destination wedding or have a lot of out-of-town guests — in fact, I don’t think anyone in my family has ever received one.  I hadn’t even heard of them before I actually started planning a wedding.

Post # 8
375 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

I think they are a nice, but not necessary detail. It is not something you need to have.

Post # 9
13 posts

All the info, same fluff = quite true.  

As nice as it would have been to have the design of our Save-The-Date Cards match the design of our invitations, we weren’t nearly together enough to have that happen.  We did our Save-The-Date Cards via email, and attached (my sister’s brilliant idea for how to make an email look more special) a pdf of what our STD card might have looked like, had we sent printed ones.  It took about an hour, fiddling with fonts, and then was done; it had the standard STD language with a quote from a favorite poem as decoration. Cost = $0. 

We did this six months early because people were starting to ask questions; we wanted to make it clear to certain people that they really were invited; it also allowed us to share the address of our wedding website.  

Post # 10
78 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2008

We did Save-The-Date Cards, but only sent them to the people we were 100% sure we were inviting (about 90% of our guest list). In hindsight, we should have finalized our guest list earlier and sent Save-The-Date Cards to everyone, because in the end, there was at least one person who couldn’t come because he already had something on his schedule, and six weeks notice (when our invites went out) wasn’t enough time since his conflict had been booked a while ago. 

So the moral of my story is, it doesn’t have to be a fancy STD, but a mass email or phone calls to tell people well in advance of the date is a smart idea. Good luck! 

Post # 11
1238 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

NO, it is is not necessary.  We had a lot of out of town guests, and we did not send out save the dates.  Instead, we mailed out our wedding invitations a little early (mailed in early June for an August wedding).  I think STD are a new thing – I never recieved one for the the 20+ weddings I went to in the early 1990’s.  It is my pov that most friends and family will know about the wedding through conversation and will look forward to the invitation.

Post # 12
570 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2009

They are totally not necessary, but I would advise against sending out the invites four months in advance… that might be a little early.  For those who have to travel, why not let them know about the date via email or the phone, and then send the invites 6-8 weeks before the wedding (this timeline seems to be the most effective).

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