Post # 1
Let me start by saying that I LOVE my boyfriend with all my heart and he is AMAZING in soooo many ways!!!
However….the man constantly leaves things on the floor and Does. Not. Pick. Them. Up. Like, ever!!! On top of that he ALWAYS leaves drawers, doors, and cabinets open. No matter how much I nag, encourage, and plead with him to work on this, it never stops. I know for a fact it is because his mother never made him do this and always did it for him. Mothers really do their sons a disservice by not teaching them home training and cleanliness.
I want to marry this man, but am I going to be spending the rest of my life picking sh*t up off the floor and closing cabinets and drawers??? JUST KILL ME NOW!!!!!
Post # 3
Girl! I feel ya!!! Lord have mercy do I know what you’re talking about! It’s amazing! BUT – get use to it. There will rarely ever be a man that does everything perfectly 🙂 Just love him for who he is, and work on training the crap out of him!
Post # 4
I know. All I can say is PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE teach your little boys to clean up after themselves. I know you want to baby them, but it doesn’t help them!
You need to have a real discussion with him. Understand that change won’t happen overnight, but start with something small. Tell him that you’d like the drawers closed for now and that he can focus on that. Tell him that you guys need to work together to get this problem solved and that you will what it takes to help him. Hopefully, he’ll put in some effort and meet you halfway.
Post # 5
You know what cracks me up? My DAD (yes, my dear old father) is the person who runs around behind people at a family gathering with a Dust Buster…we always joke with guests that if they spill something on his carpet, he’ll kill ’em…
Post # 6
@Reign14:I am going through the SAME thing right now. Doesn’t rinse out his dishes when he’s done. Leaves open bags of chips in the living room, leaves his socks on the living room floor, even tshirts. Doesn’t throw his clothes in the hamper but instead throws the clothes on the floor IN FRONT of the hamper. It’s no use nagging. I gave up on nagging a long time ago. I love him for who he is, not how tidy, or NOT tidy he is. I’m a tidy person so I have taken initiative to do just about everything. Every now and then I’ll mention, “hey you forgot your cereal bowl on the table” or “Could you put those chips away before they get stale?”
I say, if you want something done, do it yourself. If you want closed cupboards in your home, close them when they’re open. If you don’t want things laying around the floor, pick them up.
Post # 8
@FlutterbyBee:Ooops, where’d it go??? Your dad reminds me of Danny Tanner!
Post # 9
@JamieinMN: OMG! I feel your pain!
I am with you but damn!!! What kind of life is that?!
Messiness is obviousuly not a dealbreaker for me, but it’s definitely frustrating. I think I would be much happier if he changed. And he does work on it so I am extremely grateful for the effort! I definitely think it could be worse, but because he loves me he tries.
Post # 10
@Reign14:I know it’s frustrating….I actually don’t mind doing all of the cleaning. He works hard, on his feet all day vs me: I sit on my butt all day. I just wish he would take initiative to clean up after himself ya know? But I love him for who he is, whether he is as tidy as me or not.
I’m the kind of person where if I want something done, I want it done right then and there. Example, a couple of weeks ago, I asked him to clean the cat box while I was doing dishes…. “I’ll do it later.” he says. So I get done with the dishes, he’s still sitting in front of the TV, so I took it upon myself to do it. He has NEVER cleaned the bathroom, done the dishes maybe a handful of times but I hate the way he does them. He won’t fill the sink with soapy water and he wastes soooooooooooooo much detergent, I said f*** it, I’ll do them from now on. But once we get a dishwasher, guess who gets to load it AND unload it, YOU DO!
Post # 11
I hear you completely! My Fiance insists on putting dirty dishes in the sink literally 1 foot from the empty dishwasher. I’m like… it’s the same amount of effort. Save me the work.
Post # 12
hahamy Fiance is the same with leaving stuff on the floor and drawers and cupboards open. I told him that hed better start shutting things cos open closet doors and drawers scare me and take me back to being a kid that a monster is going to jump out of them. So now he knows it scares me, he shuts them.
As for picking stuff up off the floor….thats still a work in progress lol
Post # 13
OMG!!! He never shuts his dresser drawers all the way and constantly leaves crap on the office and bedroom floor. If I pick up one.more.pair.of.shorts, I will vomit.
But I love him and he can be great otherwise.
Post # 14
hahahahahaha!!! my Fiance too!! stuff on the floor, open cabinet doors, dirty laundry on top of hamper…why can’t he just open the lid and put it in???!!??
i get annoyed too, i usually kindly tell him…then when it’s still there hours later, i sometimes decide to simply leave it there. i got through phases when i figure enough is enough, and just leave his crap all over the place, until he starts complaining that the house is messy and show him who’s mess it is… works for a while but sooner or later he reverts back. his mama also did everything for him… everything!!
it’s a pain, but yeah mostlikely you will be cleaning stuff off the floor for ever, buti’m sure you do things that bug him too so i guess it evens out.
Post # 15
Ooooooh, I HATE that… Fi will always leave cabinet doors open when we’re cooking and I swear one day I’m going to crack my head open on the corner of a door.
Post # 16
So my best friend read in a book that this man kept leaving his socks on the floor. His wife made him lunch every day for work. One day he bit into it and bit into a sock. Thinking that she wouldn’t do it to BOTH sandwiches he bit into the second one… finding his other dirty sock. Moral of the story: Nagging doesn’t work but eating your socks will change habits.
If you keep picking up for your men they will keep making a mess. If you talked to them and they have made and effort I think you should encourage and praise. However if you talk to them and nothing ever changes I suggest going with the sock theory. You don’t have to feed them to your man, but you could throw them away instead. When he has NO socks and has to go to work without them and then BUY more he’ll remember to put them away so they don’t end up in the trash or whatever.
I had to do this with my roommate involving toliet paper. He wouldn’t replace the roll or would leave two squares on it. So I put the toliet paper roll on backwards, he HATED that and started actually doing it himself.
The goal is not to nag. Nagging can become part of the cycle and normal routine of his and your life. This is a way to get him to do stuff, not pick up after him, and not nag him.
A little evil yes, but normally doesn’t have to be done more than once!