(Closed) Just like a pair of shoes, you can not split a invite for a wedding!!

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Should I provide a invite to a couple to our wedding when I am not invited but FI is?
    Just invite the husband only. Just like buying shoes, you can not split up a pair! : (26 votes)
    24 %
    Invite them anyway. Have them share in your special day. : (53 votes)
    50 %
    Do not invite them at all. They are tacky and rude! : (28 votes)
    26 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    2313 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    Fiances and spouses should ALWAYS be invited. That’s quite rude. 

    That being said, I’d invite them anyway and prove I’ve got the better manners.

    Post # 4
    Member
    5657 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: February 2012

    They are being rude. It’s either all or nothing with engaged or married couples. You can’t just invite one and not the other! I would probably skip out on their wedding for that reason.

    Two wrongs do not make a right though. Do the proper thing and invite them both. 🙂

    Post # 5
    Member
    1501 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    Bad etiquette. I’d be so mad I wouldn’t want to invite either of them!

    But you should probably be the better person and invite the couple.

    Post # 6
    Member
    3977 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    Everybody has to handle their own budget as they see fit. It would be nice of them to offer him a plus one, but it’s their prerogative. If he’s a close friend of Fiance I think you have to invite him and if he’s married then you need to invite his wife. Boy/Girlfriends and fiances are a different kettle of fish. I definitely don’t think you should let her plans effect your own, especially in a negative way.

    Post # 7
    Member
    633 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    I think it’s extremely rude. I would just invite both anyway to show them that you guys aren’t cheapskates who put budget before manners. Hopefully they will feel like tightwads when they see your generosity in comparison to their snub.

    Post # 8
    Member
    1553 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    That IS horribly rude.  People amaze me sometimes.

    I’d talk to your Fiance and see just how bad he wants this friend there.  I’d be tempted to not invite them at all.  I’d certainly not have Fiance attend their wedding.  If you aren’t welcome, why would he want to go? (though I’d send a gift, just to take the high road).

    If he really wants this friend at your wedding, I’d suck it up, do the right thing, and invite them both — though I agree they don’t deserve to both be invited. 

    Post # 9
    Member
    2204 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I think it was incredibly rude of the guy to say that AND THEN to follow up with a “oh, but we’ll be at your wedding”

    I really wouldn’t worry about it until the invite actually comes addressed to just your Fiance.

    When it comes to your invite list, it’s not easy but taking the high road is a much better place to be.

    Post # 10
    Member
    384 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    It totally sucks, but I’d try to be the bigger person.  FI’s got a cousing getting married the weekend before us.  We sent our invitations out first though (she’s had a rough year) and invited both her and her Fiance (who will be a husband at the time we get married.)  The invitation to her wedding came only to Fiance.  I was a little miffed, but eventually got over it.  The icing for me though was when I found out that both FI’s brother and live-in girlfriend were on their invitation to the cousin’s wedding.  No one likes the live in girlfriend.  Okay. . .maybe I’m not over it.

    I still vote for being the bigger person.  If you’re like me and enjoy whinning to others, it’ll give you something totally whine worthy. 🙂

    Post # 12
    Member
    1046 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    @Radiant Bride:  If they’re trying to cut costs so much, they should cut couples TOGETHER. I wouldn’t go to their wedding or invite them to mine.

    Post # 13
    Member
    2866 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    Totally rude.

    I’d invite them both to your wedding IF this guy is close to your husband BUT decline their invitation. I’d even have your fiance write on the response card that he’d like to come but won’t attend without his future wife.

    Spouses/Fiances ALWAYS should be invited – it’s the one time it’s okay to ask/assume your SO is invited. 9/10 times it’s rude to ask for an invitation but if it’s a spouse/future spouse it’s poor etiquette on their part to disclude you. If they want to cut costs then they just shouldn’t invite either of you.

    Post # 14
    Member
    6998 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2011

    i think that is horribly rude and i would be a bit put off by it honestly. but be the bigger person and invite them, though i would have Fiance send a gift and politley decline the inviation if i wasnt invited, especially since you are engaged – not just dating.

    Post # 15
    Member
    220 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    Yes that is thoughtless, I can see why you are upset, I would be too! I would do the correct thing even though they haven’t – so invite them both. I agree with other posters that your Fiance should consider politely declining the invitation to go without you.

    Post # 16
    Member
    348 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    Wow, that’s totally unacceptable. I understand not inviting +1’s to save space, but live-in spouses, fiance’s, and husbands/wives should always be invited. In My Humble Opinion, if you cannot afford to invite a friend’s fiancee, you need to readjust your wedding priorities. 

    The topic ‘Just like a pair of shoes, you can not split a invite for a wedding!!’ is closed to new replies.

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