Post # 17
@Merry02:Couldn’t agree more! I am a live-in fiance and was not invited to my FI’s good friend’s wedding. And I KNEW both parties (through him, but still I saw them often). They said it was to save costs, which is fine. But, we are engaged, and live together. I’m “taking the high road” and inviting both of them…just to stick it to them that we can throw a nice shindig and invite engaged & married whole couples
Post # 18
nrmally id say if you cant invite both dont just invite one but if they are doing it to you just tell them you have to cut costs and made your guest list before they were married
Post # 19
How very insulting of them towards you. I think Fiance should have said something in terms of ‘etiquette’ right then and there. Or simply refused the invite to him as well saying that he “much rather not come without you. You are his Fiance and he would not feel comfortable attending THEIR wedding without his lady love.”
Actually he can still say it. When they send the invite, maybe they will have changed their mind on their own, if not, then Fiance can use the statement above.
Post # 20
Thats incredibly rude. There is a difference between not inviting your 18 year old cousins girlfriend or your friend’s 2 week fling and not inviting somebody’s FIANCEE. Its totally different and incredibly rude. I I have no idea what I’d do in your situation though.
Post # 21
I’d call them out on it! They may just not be thinking straight, and I’m sure that if your Fiance called up his friend and said ‘hey, we realize that you’re cutting costs, but I’m sure you actually meant to invite my fiancee as I really couldn’t come to your wedding unless she was invited – I’m sure you understand and would expect the same in the opposite situation’. They’d realize they were being rude, and would invite youboth. If not, then I don’t think your Fiance should go to their wedding!
Post # 23
A little bit controversial but I don’t agree that you should always invite partners. Its up to you who you want there on your day and no one else.
Saying that, not inviting you and then assuming you will invite them is RUDE!
Post # 24
Like someone said above, don’t worry about it until the invite comes. He’s a guy, and sometimes guys don’t know about these kinds of things and how they come across. It could be that once his fiancee finds out, she’ll be mortified.
Post # 25
What does your Fiance think? It is his friend, but you are his future wife and fiancee. My Fiance would be so pissed on my behalf and wouldn’t have accepted that “logic” when really, all they did was “beat” you two to being called husband/wife instead of fiance(e). I think it’s totally rude. I asked Fiance – he said he would probably decline and then invite the guy only to your own wedding to see how HE would handle it. Rude much? JEEZ.
Post # 26
I wouldn’t invite them at all. It’s so rude to split up a couple and even more rude to then demand that your wife be invited to their wedding.
Post # 27
It’s really rude I would just not invite them at all.
Post # 28
I secon @MissHelen and other above. It’s horribly rude of them, but maybe it was just the dummy guy’s first thought? I would take the high road if you want them there and invite them…but if you think it would ruin your night to see them there, then don’t. But if you don’t invite, your finace should definitely decline their invite. (He should probably decline their invite anyway, it’s so weird and tacky!)
Post # 29
This is tacky! I would invite them both to make a point.
It is unfair that you have to be married to be considered a real couple… it sounds like if your wedding was a year earlier they likely wouldn’t be inviting one and not the other. I don’t get this justification from people.
Post # 30
Ladies–did the bride say she wasn’t inviting the poster? No, it was the groom. I know Darling Husband said/did some “unapproved” things that I had to correct. ’cause he’s a guy. Somewhere on this site is a huge post on all the stupid things FI’s say about weddings. Let’s wait until the invitation comes…
Post # 31
A very similar thing has happened to me! Our guest list is supposed to be small (started out at 20 people, now it could reach over 30). On our invite list there is a recently married couple who did not invite partners or fiances to their wedding, only spouses. I thought that was so wrong! Now both of them are going to be at our wedding, and I feel annoyed/awkward they will be attending our intimate wedding.
(Let me pont out at the wedding reception, a couple will be married for two hours. That’s not a terribly long time to become so sanctimonious about the institution of marriage!!!)
If you think it would bother you as much as it bothers me, I would say don’t invite them, or (more simply) your fiance should not go to their wedding in a sign of solidarity. Your point would be made, and then you’re free to invite them to your wedding since you didn’t have to directly confront their breech of etiquette. Plus, it’s too expensive for him to go on his own without turning it into a holiday for the both of you.