Post # 1
So, one of my bridesmaids for my upcoming wedding is/was my brothers girlfriend. At the time I asked they had been dating for nearly 2 years and were great together. She and I had also become friends in that time as well.
This past Sunday, they broke up. My brother screwed up, lied about it, and she eventually found out. Needless to say the whole family is pretty devastated. We all thought she would eventually be part of the family.
I talked to them Monday and at that time she said she would still be a part of the wedding day – it’s about me & fiance, not them. I’m so worried that she won’t feel comfortable, though, and not come. Which I will totally understand.
The wedding isn’t for 3 weeks, and fiance & I are kind of giving them time to deal with this and figure things out. We’ll deal with being 1 bridesmaid short if it comes to that.
Side note: I’m hoping to get programs printed and assembled by next weekend – but have no clue if I should keep her on there or not!
Anyone else go through something similar? How did you deal?
Post # 3
First of all, uneven sides will NOT make your marriage invaild… so you’re right to just let that be if that is the case.
Second, it’s nice of you to let them deal with this situation, as it is their own personal, private business. I’m sorry you are even being put in that situation 🙁
As for the programs, well you can leave her in there, and in the event she isn’t able to come, or isn’t comfortable being near your brother, just let it be. If anyone does ask where she is, or realizes that there are more Bridesmaid or Best Man names in the program than BMs at the front, just tell them she was unable to be present and leave it at that. It’s none of anyone else’s business.
Post # 4
This is terrible, I feel badly for you AND her. Honestly, it’s pretty soon and she’s very hurt. I suspect she won’t be comfortable coming to the wedding, but you need to find out for sure. Call her to see how she’s doing and casually bring it up. Let her know how much you care about her and let her know while you would love her to be there, you completely understand if she’s not comfortable with it. Make sure that it’s all about her.
Post # 5
Oh geeze, that sounds like a really rough situation. I have no advice to offer, but I wish you luck with your wedding and peace for your family and your friend.
Post # 6
Wow. This is terrible 🙁 If I were you, I’d go ahead and print the programs with her on them. Having her listed if she decides to back out is way worse than if you leave her off them and she decides to stay a bridesmaid.
Post # 7
This is tough, sorry to hear! I would think it woud be hard for her to come and participate in a wedding that only 3 weeks before she thought she would become a part of the family and now will likely not. I know you want to be nice and sympathetic right now, but if I were in your shoes I would not push it and honestly vear on the side of asking her not to be in it. Do you think you will continue to be close friends with her if she’s not dating your brother anymore? Do you want his ex in all your pictures? I guess it depends on how close friends you actually are, and if you’ll maintain that friendship post split. If not then I would move on with your plans and not include her. Sorry if that seems unsympathetic to her, but it seems like it could be more drama than it’s worth to have her in the wedding.
Post # 9
I would let her make the decision whether or not to attend. don’t make it for her.
Put her name in the program. It will be awkward if you don’t and she does come.
Post # 10
What a thing to deal with right before your wedding, I’m so sorry. I agree that you should ultimately let her decide, even if it comes down to the wire. Keep her name in the program, otherwise she will feel slighted.