(Closed) Just lost it on my dog. Feel like I'm not ready to be a mom :(

posted 6 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Pregnant me once chucked a burger at my husband’s head because he ordered it with cheese instead of without. My best friend was at the house at the time and her jaw was on the floor because it was totally unlike me.

It happens. When I was a week past my due date I yelled (and I mean YELLED) at my daughter for ruining her birthday cake. I ended up in the hospital in a flood of tears having contractions and high blood pressure because I was so upset and guilty!

My daughter was over it by the time I got home and some extra hugs later. Hormones don’t reflect anything about parenting skills, pregnancy just sucks sometimes. And the fact is, you might want to yell at the baby sometimes. But you just have to remember that you can and will place the baby down in a safe place, hide out in the bathroom with a magazine for a few minutes, regain composure, and emerge when you are calm.

Post # 4
10851 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

Awww sweetie! First of all, ((((hugs))))). Secondly, don’t be so hard on yourself. Pregnancy is rough, exhausting, emotional, of course you’re going to have a bad day here and there! It sounds like your pup is giving you a bit of a the gears about the upcoming change, she’s probably really nervous about it. Friends of mine bought a baby doll (they slept with it a few nights to make it smell like “them”), and gave it to their dogs so they could get used to the “baby” and it seems to have helped a lot. Maybe try that?

As for being a mom, it’s tough! I’m a stepmom and I definitely have had days when I’ve come dangerously close to totally losing my cool. What’s important is to know when to walk away. Just like you put your pup in time out, when your LO gets old enough they’ll go in time out and if you feel really upset, you’ll wind up using that time for you to cool off too, or let Darling Husband take over. You’re going to be fine! I promise!

Post # 6
1390 posts
Bumble bee

I’ve yelled at my dog a time or two as well and always feel awful afterward. One of my dogs NEVER comes when he is called. He’s a great dog, but when he’s outside he will ignore you and even run away from you when you walk toward him. So, he goes out on a leash in the morning. If you’re worried about her not coming to you or running away, a morning walk on the leash might be a good idea.

Honestly, it sounds like your pup is having a bit of a hard time adjusting. Just show her some extra love and attention. Make sure she gets lots of time with you and hugs, kisses, walks, treats, etc. Pets are often neglected emotionally when babies come around and they react by being little beasties. My sister’s dog peed on her sofa.

Post # 7
8042 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@roxy821:  You’re pregnant. You’re hormonal and probably feeling stressed and physically uncomfortable. Totally normal.

You WILL lose it on your kids at some point… everyone does. That’s life. Sometimes you need to lose it on your kids.. then they get the point and don’t ever do that behavior again. I am under no pretenses that I’m going to be the perfect mother that has the perfect child that’s always perfectly under control. Who is?

You really didn’t do anything wrong. If you said that you started to kick your dog or you threw something heavy at it then I would be concerned, but you used a pretty standard disciplinary tactic. It ain’t pretty but it had to be done.

I know this is slightly off topic, but I think this is the point where you’d get to spanking your kid. I was spanked a few times, and it didn’t do me any serious damage. I’m all for a bit of spanking as punishment if you’ve tried everything else and the kid is going crazy. I know some people disagree w. me… but that’s just too bad. I guess the point I am trying to make is that even if you get to the point where you spank your kid, it doesn’t make you a bad mom. Life isn’t always pretty.

Post # 9
1301 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@roxy821:  You poor thing. This does not make you a bad mother. You lost your cool and you feel terrible about it. That makes you excellent mom material. I threw a bottle of water at my Darling Husband the other day and I have been having nightmares about it since I am so horrified I did something like that, (and I am not even pregnant!). I take comfort in the fact that it was not normal at all for me and I feel terrible about it. There are tons of people that do far worse stuff to pets/loved ones and simply rationalize it. 

Good luck, hope you feel better!  

Post # 10
2607 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

What’s nice about dogs is that unlike husbands with burger juice in their hair 😉  they don’t hold grudges.  She’s going to be thrilled to see you when you get home tonight, and a little extra love and kisses will help you feel better about the whole thing.

As artichokey suggested, I’d stick to leash walks for the next little while, since she’s probably feeling a bit “off” as many dogs do when someone in the house is pregnant.

Also, my dog is really resistant to coming inside when she’s got a ton of pent-up energy.  Can someone else in the house take her for some long walks, or to an off-leash park where she can burn some energy off?

Post # 13
1486 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@roxy821:  Yeah, my dog acts out when I’m pregnant too.  And I’ve yelled at him like that with my 2nd pregnancy–I was carrying my daughter to the changing table, and he was underfoot (he’s a German shepherd) and he WOULD NOT STOP.  It’s something about needing to be close, and also, we smell different to them during pregnancy, so he’s always sniffing me.  

I just snapped, I totally raged at him, and if he could drop his mouth in shock, he would have.  He hid in the bedroom, trying to crawl under the bed (all 70lbs of him) and then like 30 minutes later he brought me all his toys.

I sat there and cried so hard Darling Husband came home from work because I couldn’t stop crying. It happens, your dog will forget all about it.

P.S. I love the hiking you have set up!  That makes you a FANTASTIC Mom.  It’s an adjustment for everyone, bringing home a baby, but you’ll get irritated with them after.  You’ll get irritated with your baby.  It’s all about how you handle it the MAJORITY of the time.  Everyone slips up, but just the fact that you felt bad shows how great of a mother you are.

Post # 16
1486 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@roxy821:  Look at that face!  What an adorable dog.  I think anyone would be frustrated when their dog does something so out of character.  It’s like “You know better, what the hell??”

Soon, you will be able to do something like this:

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