Post # 1
My dog decided this morning that she just didn’t feel like listening to me. We have a steep hill on our backyard and when I called her in so I could go to work she looked the other way. I even tried being nice and offering a cookie because I needed her to come down since I’m 32 weeks pregnant and can’t get up there to get her. I finally went and changed and climbed up the hill, grabbed her by her scruff, screamed at her, and put her inside the house. I yelled at her like she has never heard before and was hiding when I left for work. I ended up being 45 mins late for work and left my house in tears. She is an excellent dog but I just couldn’t take it this morning. She’s done things like this here and there during the pregnancy. She ran away when we took down the guest bed and started the nursery, and used to hide outside when I was sick in the beginning and refused to come in.
I feel terrible that I yelled at her like that. I am usually very calm and patient and will put her in time out. But I just lost it. I’m exhausted and frustrated that she isn’t listening and I just don’t know what came over me.
I don’t know how I’m ever going to be a good mom? What if I’m not ready? What if I yell at the baby?! 🙁
Post # 3
Pregnant me once chucked a burger at my husband’s head because he ordered it with cheese instead of without. My best friend was at the house at the time and her jaw was on the floor because it was totally unlike me.
It happens. When I was a week past my due date I yelled (and I mean YELLED) at my daughter for ruining her birthday cake. I ended up in the hospital in a flood of tears having contractions and high blood pressure because I was so upset and guilty!
My daughter was over it by the time I got home and some extra hugs later. Hormones don’t reflect anything about parenting skills, pregnancy just sucks sometimes. And the fact is, you might want to yell at the baby sometimes. But you just have to remember that you can and will place the baby down in a safe place, hide out in the bathroom with a magazine for a few minutes, regain composure, and emerge when you are calm.
Post # 4
Awww sweetie! First of all, ((((hugs))))). Secondly, don’t be so hard on yourself. Pregnancy is rough, exhausting, emotional, of course you’re going to have a bad day here and there! It sounds like your pup is giving you a bit of a the gears about the upcoming change, she’s probably really nervous about it. Friends of mine bought a baby doll (they slept with it a few nights to make it smell like “them”), and gave it to their dogs so they could get used to the “baby” and it seems to have helped a lot. Maybe try that?
As for being a mom, it’s tough! I’m a stepmom and I definitely have had days when I’ve come dangerously close to totally losing my cool. What’s important is to know when to walk away. Just like you put your pup in time out, when your LO gets old enough they’ll go in time out and if you feel really upset, you’ll wind up using that time for you to cool off too, or let Darling Husband take over. You’re going to be fine! I promise!
Post # 5
@KatyElle- I lol over the hamburger. Being pregnant I could totally see this happening. Thank you, I definetly went in the bathroom for a few minutes and closed the door, so it sounds safe to say that I will be doing that more than once when the baby arrives.
@bakerella- Thank you. I just feel like a bad day should never make me snap on something so innocent. I tried a doll and my dogs aren’t interested. Maybe I should try one that cries or something. My dogs take care of their toys and clean them and sleep with them, so I have to find something that they won’t think of as their toy. Thanks for the advice, I just never snap and don’t want to think I could be a horrible mom.
The problem is my dog is brilliant, like those dogs on TV that they do specials on those intelligence. I think she knows that I am not 100% now and she can take advantage of me.
Post # 6
I’ve yelled at my dog a time or two as well and always feel awful afterward. One of my dogs NEVER comes when he is called. He’s a great dog, but when he’s outside he will ignore you and even run away from you when you walk toward him. So, he goes out on a leash in the morning. If you’re worried about her not coming to you or running away, a morning walk on the leash might be a good idea.
Honestly, it sounds like your pup is having a bit of a hard time adjusting. Just show her some extra love and attention. Make sure she gets lots of time with you and hugs, kisses, walks, treats, etc. Pets are often neglected emotionally when babies come around and they react by being little beasties. My sister’s dog peed on her sofa.
Post # 7
@roxy821: You’re pregnant. You’re hormonal and probably feeling stressed and physically uncomfortable. Totally normal.
You WILL lose it on your kids at some point… everyone does. That’s life. Sometimes you need to lose it on your kids.. then they get the point and don’t ever do that behavior again. I am under no pretenses that I’m going to be the perfect mother that has the perfect child that’s always perfectly under control. Who is?
You really didn’t do anything wrong. If you said that you started to kick your dog or you threw something heavy at it then I would be concerned, but you used a pretty standard disciplinary tactic. It ain’t pretty but it had to be done.
I know this is slightly off topic, but I think this is the point where you’d get to spanking your kid. I was spanked a few times, and it didn’t do me any serious damage. I’m all for a bit of spanking as punishment if you’ve tried everything else and the kid is going crazy. I know some people disagree w. me… but that’s just too bad. I guess the point I am trying to make is that even if you get to the point where you spank your kid, it doesn’t make you a bad mom. Life isn’t always pretty.
Post # 8
@artichokey- This just isn’t like her, I think that’s why I got so frustrated. We just got back from a mini vacation on the lake house with friends. We took our dogs, she was in heaven and played the entire time. She used to be so independent before I got pregnant and now she requires more attention, so she gets much more attention now than ever. Lots of love, hugs, and kisses. I have even lined up family members to take her on day hiking trips when the baby is born since I won’t be able to exercise her. I just wish she could see that this is a good thing and that I love her so much and out family is just getting bigger, but I do have to remember that she’s still a dog. My brother used to pee in corner when my mother brought me home, so I won’t be surpised if my dogs do the same lol
Post # 9
@roxy821: You poor thing. This does not make you a bad mother. You lost your cool and you feel terrible about it. That makes you excellent mom material. I threw a bottle of water at my Darling Husband the other day and I have been having nightmares about it since I am so horrified I did something like that, (and I am not even pregnant!). I take comfort in the fact that it was not normal at all for me and I feel terrible about it. There are tons of people that do far worse stuff to pets/loved ones and simply rationalize it.
Good luck, hope you feel better!
Post # 10
What’s nice about dogs is that unlike husbands with burger juice in their hair 😉 they don’t hold grudges. She’s going to be thrilled to see you when you get home tonight, and a little extra love and kisses will help you feel better about the whole thing.
As artichokey suggested, I’d stick to leash walks for the next little while, since she’s probably feeling a bit “off” as many dogs do when someone in the house is pregnant.
Also, my dog is really resistant to coming inside when she’s got a ton of pent-up energy. Can someone else in the house take her for some long walks, or to an off-leash park where she can burn some energy off?
Post # 11
@throughthebarricades- You sound just like Darling Husband. His response was you didn’t hurt her but she wasn’t respecting you and she learned who was boss. I never yell so I think that is probably why she was in so much shock. I just love my furbabies so much and feel terrible because I’m her mommy and she never runs from me. I know you’re right and I remember times of getting yelled at and punished but I still think my mom was a great mom.
Post # 12
We do go out in the morning and I have a fenced in yard that they go out to go to the bathroom after they eat breakfast when they get back. So this was just because she didn’t feel like listening and was enjoying the breeze this morning. She’s 4 and doesn’t usually poop on the leash so I think walking her on the leash in her own yard might make things a little worse. My dogs do go for a walk/hike,etc. every day. I do ask family members to step in on days when I am unable, so I think it has more to do with the baby and her being stubborn than anything else.
@Sea bass- Thanks!
@MissNoodles- You are right! Maybe I’ll stop home during lunch and give her lots of hugs and kisses and spend a little time with her. She does hold grudges but I think she always wants her mommy to be happy with her.
Post # 13
@roxy821: Yeah, my dog acts out when I’m pregnant too. And I’ve yelled at him like that with my 2nd pregnancy–I was carrying my daughter to the changing table, and he was underfoot (he’s a German shepherd) and he WOULD NOT STOP. It’s something about needing to be close, and also, we smell different to them during pregnancy, so he’s always sniffing me.
I just snapped, I totally raged at him, and if he could drop his mouth in shock, he would have. He hid in the bedroom, trying to crawl under the bed (all 70lbs of him) and then like 30 minutes later he brought me all his toys.
I sat there and cried so hard Darling Husband came home from work because I couldn’t stop crying. It happens, your dog will forget all about it.
P.S. I love the hiking you have set up! That makes you a FANTASTIC Mom. It’s an adjustment for everyone, bringing home a baby, but you’ll get irritated with them after. You’ll get irritated with your baby. It’s all about how you handle it the MAJORITY of the time. Everyone slips up, but just the fact that you felt bad shows how great of a mother you are.
Post # 14
@QuietSerenity- Your German Shepherd sounds like my younger pup, it’s amazing how they really know somethings different. Why can’t all people be like dogs? Forget about your mistakes and know you are sorry?! Thank you, I try to be good to them and I feel like being pregnant I go above and beyond and then when they I act i get even more frustrated.
Post # 16
@roxy821: Look at that face! What an adorable dog. I think anyone would be frustrated when their dog does something so out of character. It’s like “You know better, what the hell??”
Soon, you will be able to do something like this: