(Closed) Just Married – Now, I have tons of questions for the Hive!

posted 8 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
4464 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

1. I personally sent thank-you cards the week after my shower and will be sending separate ones for the wedding.  Was your shower super-close to your wedding day?

2. I like to say “thank you so much for the generous gift, we will use it towards [blank]”

3. Yes, you should definitely send a thank you.

4. Me and Fiance will be working on the thank you’s together and I assume we’ll write each others names.  I could go either way on this though.

5. I would just send a simple thank you card.  They probably have no idea you know what happened.

Post # 4
1315 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

1: We don’t do showers here, so I don’t know about this one, but I’d imagine one Thank You card would do for both?

2: “Thank you for your kind and thoughtful gift, we really appreciate it and are delighted you could come to celebrate our special day with us” is usually the norm here for money gifts.

3: Yep, thank you cards to anyone that gave you anything.

4: Get him to sign the ones to the people (mostly his family, I guess) that would know his handwriting.

5: Send the card. I don’t think there’s any obligation on you to ignore the behaviour – no guest at your wedding shoud be attacking anyone, that’s horrendous. You do have to address their behaviour, but I think that’d be better done in person, if you’ve the belly for it.

Post # 5
13096 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

1. I would send seperate thank yous for the wedding and shower (even if they were super close together – my shower will be the day before my wedding).  Reasoning – gifts aren’t really from exactly the same people.  Ex. – your Aunt A and Uncle B got you a wedding gift but a gift at the shower would only be from Aunt A (not Uncle B).

2. I say something like “Thank you so much for the generous gift.  We will use it towards X” or “we were so excited to be able to put it towards Y during our honeymoon”.

3. Yes, you should definitely send a thank you to anyone who got you a gift – invited or not.

4. Personally, I think it would be nice for you to have your husband sign his name.  That’s what I intend to have my FI do once its time to do our thank yous.  My family always used to do that with our X-mas cards (each kid signed individually) and it gives them a really nice touch.  It doesn’t take that much effort on his part (especially if you are writing them all!)

5. I would still send them a thank you card for the effort and time they put in to the wedding party gifts.  They deserve that despite their pre-ceremony actions.

Post # 6
1927 posts
Buzzing bee

The girls have pretty much covered all my answers.  The only thing I would point out is a different option for your question number 4.  I wrote all the thank you notes to my friends and family and he wrote the thank you notes to his friends and family.  We both signed each other’s name on the notes that we wrote.  I think the guest should receive a note from the person who they know best.  However, my mother was SHOCKED that my husband agreed to help with the notes.  I told him he didn’t have an option so “agreed” may be a strong word…

Post # 7
5670 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

I think the previous posts covered your questions. The only thing I would add is that I wrote all of our shower thank you notes and just signed his name. It would have been more of a hassle to get him to sit down and sign every one of them.

Post # 8
1944 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

I ditto all the above and I want to say Thank you for being so thoughtful. This is one area I get a little uptight about. I went to 4 weddings in the last year and half, shower included, on my Darling Husband side of friends and family and not once did we receive a thank you card. To me that is gross. I even sent a thank you letter to our officiant and his wife who did our photos!

Post # 10
1927 posts
Buzzing bee

I would say in most cases you do not need to send a thank you for a card.  We only did this in one case and it was for a very elderly great aunt who was unable to attend.  My note was mostly just to let her know that we were thinking about her and that we missed her on the big day.. so not so much a thank you note.  Also, since we did picture cards it was nice for her to get to see pictures of us on our wedding a day.

Post # 11
18641 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

1. I think that you should send out thank yous for each gift seperately.

2. Usually for cash, we said that we would spend it on X.  In our case, we said we would spend it furnishing our new house and going on vacation later.  Do not mention the amount.

3. You need to thank everyone who sent you a gift, whether they were invited to the wedding or not.

4. I signed and wrote all our thank you cards because my husband’s handwriting is atrocious.

5. I would just thank them for what they did and not mention that they harrassed the officiant.  If you want to talk to them about that, you should do it in person.

Post # 12
195 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

For gift cards and monetary gifts, I usually put something like this…

“Dear So-and-so, 

Thank you so much for the gift to Home Depot (or “monetary gift”) and for thinking of us. With our inpending/recent/hopeful home purchase, this will be very useful turing the new house into our home. Thank you so much”


“Dear so-and-so, 

Thank you so much for thinking of usl, coming to celebrate and especially for your monetary gift. We are so looking forward to …….. (insert exciting thing here) and your gift will be a big help. We’ll surely be thinking of you. “

I always make a point to thank people for “coming to celebrate” and mention how nice it was to have them there or how nice it was to see them after so long. That way you’re not just thanking them for their gift, but also for their attendance. Or if they didn’t come, you can say you’re looking forward to seeing them soon.

I <3 writing Thank You notes. Its weird, I know.  🙂

Post # 13
573 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I’ll just reply to number 7 since the others seem to be addressed already (summary: always send a thank you note!).

7. Thank you notes can be for gifts, kind deeds, or simply to ackowledge that you appreciate having someone in your life. If you were particularly touched by a card, go ahead and write back. It helps to avoid using stationary with “Thank You”printed on it (this is a good rule in general, although even Crane & Co. is selling them these days). Just pick out a blank card and write a few lines. If they cared enough to write a card, they will be really touched to recieve a note in return.


Post # 14
5496 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2010

I would definately send seperate thank you’s for shower and wedding. I don’t think you should use one card.

I wrote out all of our cards (my hubby’s handwriting is well, not legible to say the least! LOL) and signed both of our names. I didn’t think to have him sign until reading what some mentioned here. But that’s a very nice idea (too late for me though!)…


Post # 15
1729 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

LOL @ the “endless paradox” — haha! I like VeronicaH’s idea about not sending back a specifically-labeled “Thank You” card, but rather a blank one that you can just turn into a gracious reply.

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