- 8 years ago
- Wedding: October 2010
I cracked yesterday. I’ll try to keep it short, but I can already see this going the other way.
I’ve tried really hard not to plague my family with details of the wedding, unless I have a question that they only have the answer to (like, what direction is is the lake from the yard at her house, I didn’t want people to be watching the ceremony facing into the sun setting). They’re just not interested, and while that’s hurtful, whatever.
Any how, I was considering using the minister from my Mom’s church, because well, we’re not particularly attached to one, so we didn’t care. I e-mailed him two weeks ago, and he hasn’t said a word to me. Every other week in October he has booked, but at this point, I was only looking for some preliminary details, such as would he marry us knowing we live together, how would we meet his premarital counseling restricitons since we live out of state, stuff like that. Since we would pay him, I look at it as a business thing…he is providing a service, and I’m not wrong for wanting some sort of acknowledgement. It’s making me consider someone else. Anyway. My Mom mentioned that he had mentioned it to her, so I should be fine. Well, since she’s not paying, and since she’s not even aware of what I would or would not be able to do, I didn’t really see this as a resolution. When I calmly mentioned that I wouldn’t use another vendor who wasn’t interested enough to answer me, and I was considering looking elsewhere for an officiant (and really, I was calm at this point) she called me a bridezilla.
I mean, really? I hate, hate that word, especially since I’ve been struggling to keep these details, and questions to myself, and have been doing what I think is a good job keeping something quiet that I would rather be celebrating.
And when I said that I didn’t feel that assesment was fair, that it was a lot of work to plan something when you can’t go see your things in person, she asked me if I was on my period.
And I swear to God, that sent me over the ledge, around the bend, whatever you want to call it. So much so that I stormed out of her hotel room, because I was too mad to calm myself down. I should have seen it coming sooner or later, I’m still upset at her for saying that me inviting 30 people was embarassing for a second wedding.
I called her and apologized, because Fiance said while everything I said was right, I shouldn’t have spoken so disrespectfully. And I did. God, I was pissed. I mean, we as women, have to endure that “are you on your period” question from men, we shouldn’t have to get it from our mothers. FTR, I’m not, btw.
Okay, that’s long enough. If you even made it through all this, you’re a freaking hero.