(Closed) Just need an opinion..

posted 8 years ago in Military
Post # 3
2226 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

You should really read Miss Jellyfish’s blog she just posted.  It actually touches on this very subject!

YOu have to do what’s right for you.  If that’s to have a small, civil ceremony now, then go for it!  Follow your heart.

Post # 4
214 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

I definately think you should do a small civil ceremony before he gets deployed. Then have a big one when he comes home!

And I know you don’t care for the benefits, but they really do help. So I think that is a huge plus! Also I think having that tie between the two of you will help ease the lonely’s of deployment.



Post # 5
1982 posts
Buzzing bee

Here’s my reason you should do it now: if he gets injured/hurt or worse, wouldn’t you want to be the first to know? Because statuses as “girlfriend” don’t count, and that would hurt me so bad if I was last to know. Sure, there are other benefits, but those don’t even compare to the fact that you would know if anything happened.

Good luck and welcome to the bee!

Post # 6
2395 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

Although I’m kind of on the fence about when the wedding should be (I can see both sides of the argument) I can say that I COMPLETELY understand you when you say it will bring you closer when he’s gone.  My Darling Husband have been long distance right from the get go.  Infact, 2 days after our first date, he went back to Iraq for 10 more months…and 1 1/2 weeks after our wedding, he went back to his duty station and I havent been able to see him since….sigh…  So believe me when I say I 100% know what you mean.  My Darling Husband and I are incredibly compatible, so much so that sometimes it would be nice to disagree just to add a little excitement. lol  I never realized I could have felt more closer to him just because we were married.  In a sense, everything would still be the same (he’s there and I’m here).  But it’s the simple fact that we are married and that adds a huge layer of sentiment & meaning to things.  He’s not my boyfriend, he’s not my fiancee, he’s my husband…It’s very special knowing that you are going to be with someone for forever.

Now, for the technical side of things, I know you said the benefits/money don’t mean anything to you (and that’s great, they shouldn’t) but trust me THEY HELP!  I’ve been established in my career for almost 7 years now and make a very good living for a female my age (28), but this year my health insurance went up to $250…per month.  Fianancially, that was a blow.  Thankfully right around the time it went up, we got married and I am now on the hubs insurance.  Whew…Also, keep in mind, the Army does not recognize fiancee’s, but they do recognize wives, which is sucky for the fiancees/girlfriends.  Sometimes I think they only deal w/ the wives because they have to…but they dont have to with fiancee’s because they are not part of the Army family.  Does that make sense?  When my Darling Husband (just boyfriend at the time) was in Iraq, they sent home all the married guys home first while the “single” i.e., not married guys, had to stay up to a month longer in Iraq…so, being married does have it’s perks in the Army!

Good luck!

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