- 4 years ago
So, my SO and I have been together almost three years now (our three year anniversary is in four days, this will be important later), and have known each other a little more than four. She is from the Netherlands and I am from the US. When we are together we get along really well, and do for the most part when we’re apart, too. We are literally one of those couples where our friends go “I want a relationship like yours”. We’re mushy and silly and romantic and there’s a lot of “fire” if you know what i mean.
Yesterday, she told me that she was not going to be able to visit in June like we were planning due to some work issues that I knew about before. I’d kind of been expecting this, and I was okay with it. Then, she told me that she had to get something off her chest: that she’s been talking to one of her exes-whom she knows i don’t like- as a friend. Long story short this turned into a massive fight that brought up old insecurities for both of us (me- that she left me for a different ex once before when we were very first getting together, and her- that I had a crush on someone else once that I told her about while it was happening and shared one kiss with, with her permission) that we each thought the other had moved on from. We almost broke up, and after two hours of begging on my part, we are now on a five day break (meaning that, yes, we’ll still be on a break during our ANNIVERSARY) she requested to think about things.
I’m losing my mind and it’s basically all I can do to keep from crying hysterically. I can’t imagine life without her. Just a few days ago we were talking about engagement ring styles and what it’ll be like when she is living here and we don’t have to deal with this distance anymore, and now in five days I may find out that we’re never going to see each other again, because I could never be just her friend…
I feel like I’m dying.