Post # 1
i recently posted about having a couple drop out of the wedding. ok fine…i got passed all that fairly quickly.
well my Maid/Matron of Honor has done nothing to help me, ignores my texts, emails, calls…so i finally got a hold of her and told her i am asking her to step down to just a bridesmaid because i need a Maid/Matron of Honor that will help me. so i demoted her and promoted another Bridesmaid or Best Man. ok all is well there my new Maid/Matron of Honor is helping a lot and the now Bridesmaid or Best Man is okay with the change. she addmitted she just doesn’t have the time.
now for the part that is stressing me out the most. another one of my bridesmaids just recently got engaged and is getting married less than a month after me. now this would be fine…if she wasn’t my cousin so we share the same family. all i hear about now is HER wedding. I’m just getting fed up. i feel like my wedding just doesn’t matter anymore. :'(
now, i know that i may be a little dramatic about this and in the long run it probably wont be a big deal…but i need people to support me. i have done nothing but cry everytime someone brings her wedding up.
no one gets it. everyone just tells me to get over it…so if you are one of those people, please just do not comment. please for the sake of my sanity.
Post # 4
At least your wedding is first- if common family ended up in the position of having to choose which they’d be able to attend they’d probably pick the first. =)
Also, not really sure what you want your Maid/Matron of Honor to help you with that she’s not doing. Really, her only requirement is to buy & wear whatever dress you want and be there on time. My Maid/Matron of Honor is my sister & the only thing I expect from her is to tell me if the dress is hideous or if she’ll feel ugly in it, buy it, and be there.
Sorry this has you down- go buy a new steamy book or get your nails did! That always lifts my mood!
Post # 5
You seriously cry every time her wedding is brought up? That’s a pretty big overreaction and I’m sorry but you really do need to get over it, and if you can’t seem to do that – maybe you have some underlying issues that need to be addressed with professional help. It’s just not really a normal reaction to have.
Post # 6
I’m sorry your family is only talking about her wedding and this upsets you…but it’s probably becaues she just got engaged and it’s all new and “sparkly”. I’m sure once the newness wears off everything will go back to normal and people will either talk about both weddings or more likely, neither.
Post # 7
Honey, don’t cry….it’s just one of those things. Weddings are happy and exciting times, especially for the bride to be, you know that, and while the timing sucks, maybe you might feel better if you consider how you would feel to be in her shoes…so excited, so much to talk about and yet, trying to put the ther bride first…I bet that is really hard to do.
Post # 8
I feel torn OP, because you’re bumping for responses but already said that no one understands and you don’t want people to respond to your post if they think you should get over it. But I would think that would be a pretty typical reaction to this pretty extreme overreaction of demoting people and crying when someone else’s wedding comes up in conversation…
Post # 9
- Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House
I think since she just got engaged, her wedding is the new thing to talk about- it will die down and some of the attention will come back!
Post # 10
- Wedding: August 2013 - Brookfield Zoo
I’m sure your family is just talking about her wedding more than yours because it is new… if you look at it another way, when the big days come up, your wedding is probably what everyone will refer to at her wedding! Try not to let this get you down so much, just focus on the fact that you are going to have a beautiful wedding with the person you love.
Post # 11
@MeiFrancis: +1 This for sure.
And I assure you that on the day OF your wedding, they will be talking about you and not your cousin!!
Post # 12
Oh man. My sister got engaged recently and she is having her wedding shortly after mine. I loathe hearing about her wedding as well.
What helps me is another of my sisters is “on my side.” She pretends only my wedding is happening, and she is super excited for me about it. She’s been awesome, and I think I would have gone insane without her. Just find someone who’s “on your side” (I know there shouldn’t be sides, but families are messy!) and who will pretend that only your wedding exists.
best of luck!
Post # 13
I know you have asked us to not comment if we don’t side with you, and trust me I’m not taking a nasty tone with you..but I think you should be happy for your cousin. The two of you could have sooo much fun with this! Think about it, you can go to the wedding conventions with each other and watch marathons of wedding shows when no one else will want to! You can bounce ideas off of each other and help each other plan! My older sister was slotted to get married 1 month after me and she and I were enjoying talking about each other’s weddings with each other, it was great! She and her fiancee broke off their engagment (sad face), but for the first couple of months we were planning it was great. Be humble and gracious to your cousin…if your family catches on that you are having a pity party you’re going to come off as bratty. I really really can not stress to you how much I am trying to give you good advice, not come down on you for your reaction to the whole thing. Just try to break out of the negative emotion that’s pulling you in that direction and have fun. Congratulations on your engagement, I hope you will share some pics from the big day with us!
Post # 14
@JoolyBee: oh, in case there are any grammar/spelling police out there…my sister was engaged to a woman so I believe using the extra “e” at the end of fiance is correct.
Post # 15
Other people have their own lives, and it does not revolve around your wedding. Only us brides care that much about our day. I am sorry, you do not want to hear it, but seriously get over it, and support your cousin, that’s the right thing to do. She just got engaged, be genuinely happy for ber, she is family. As brides we get one day of attention. ONE. Not an entire year. So no one is supposed to get engaged, pregnant, etc while you are planning your wedding, not to steal your thunder so to speak?. Now thats very childish and egoistic way of thinking. You are entitled to a day of spotlight, but not the entire planning, other people have lives too. As far as moh, your wedding is in may, she was not obligated to help with anything at this point. Moh is required to look good,.wear a dress you choose and be on time for the wedding, not help the entire planning process. Bridal party are not slaves, its your wedding and yours and grooms responsibility to plan it. If you need help, ask family or hire a wedding planner.
Post # 16
@ebolshak: You know, I once said something about them not being brideslaves and I totally got slammed for it…I meant exactly what you are saying. Glad to have some comradery.