(Closed) just need to get this off my chest

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 4
Member
2550 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

At least your wedding is first- if common family ended up in the position of having to choose which they’d be able to attend they’d probably pick the first. =)

Also, not really sure what you want your Maid/Matron of Honor to help you with that she’s not doing. Really, her only requirement is to buy & wear whatever dress you want and be there on time. My Maid/Matron of Honor is my sister & the only thing I expect from her is to tell me if the dress is hideous or if she’ll feel ugly in it, buy it, and be there. 

Sorry this has you down- go buy a new steamy book or get your nails did! That always lifts my mood!

Post # 5
Member
11747 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

You seriously cry every time her wedding is brought up? That’s a pretty big overreaction and I’m sorry but you really do need to get over it, and if you can’t seem to do that – maybe you have some underlying issues that need to be addressed with professional help. It’s just not really a normal reaction to have.

Post # 6
Member
6110 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

I’m sorry your family is only talking about her wedding and this upsets you…but it’s probably becaues she just got engaged and it’s all new and “sparkly”. I’m sure once the newness wears off everything will go back to normal and people will either talk about both weddings or more likely, neither.

Post # 7
Member
5956 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

Honey, don’t cry….it’s just one of those things.  Weddings are happy and exciting times, especially for the bride to be, you know that, and while the timing sucks, maybe you might feel better if you consider how you would feel to be in her shoes…so excited, so much to talk about and yet, trying to put the ther bride first…I bet that is really hard to do.

Post # 8
Member
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I feel torn OP, because you’re bumping for responses but already said that no one understands and you don’t want people to respond to your post if they think you should get over it. But I would think that would be a pretty typical reaction to this pretty extreme overreaction of demoting people and crying when someone else’s wedding comes up in conversation…

Post # 9
Member
6222 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House

I think since she just got engaged, her wedding is the new thing to talk about- it will die down and some of the attention will come back!

Post # 10
Member
3769 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Brookfield Zoo

I’m sure your family is just talking about her wedding more than yours because it is new… if you look at it another way, when the big days come up, your wedding is probably what everyone will refer to at her wedding!  Try not to let this get you down so much, just focus on the fact that you are going to have a beautiful wedding with the person you love.

Post # 11
Member
481 posts
Helper bee

@MeiFrancis:  +1 This for sure.

And I assure you that on the day OF your wedding, they will be talking about you and not your cousin!! 

Post # 12
Member
93 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Oh man. My sister got engaged recently and she is having her wedding shortly after mine. I loathe hearing about her wedding as well. 

What helps me is another of my sisters is “on my side.” She pretends only my wedding is happening, and she is super excited for me about it. She’s been awesome, and I think I would have gone insane without her. Just find someone who’s “on your side” (I know there shouldn’t be sides, but families are messy!) and who will pretend that only your wedding exists.

 

best of luck!

Post # 13
Member
553 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I know you have asked us to not comment if we don’t side with you, and trust me I’m not taking a nasty tone with you..but I think you should be happy for your cousin. The two of you could have sooo much fun with this! Think about it, you can go to the wedding conventions with each other and watch marathons of wedding shows when no one else will want to! You can bounce ideas off of each other and help each other plan! My older sister was slotted to get married 1 month after me and she and I were enjoying talking about each other’s weddings with each other, it was great! She and her fiancee broke off their engagment (sad face), but for the first couple of months we were planning it was great. Be humble and gracious to your cousin…if your family catches on that you are having a pity party you’re going to come off as bratty. I really really can not stress to you how much I am trying to give you good advice, not come down on you for your reaction to the whole thing. Just try to break out of the negative emotion that’s pulling you in that direction and have fun. Congratulations on your engagement, I hope you will share some pics from the big day with us!

Post # 14
Member
553 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@JoolyBee:  oh, in case there are any grammar/spelling police out there…my sister was engaged to a woman so I believe using the extra “e” at the end of fiance is correct.

Post # 15
Member
74 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Other people have their own lives, and it does not revolve around your wedding. Only us brides care that much about our day. I am sorry, you do not want to hear it, but seriously get over it, and support your cousin, that’s the right thing to do. She just got engaged, be genuinely happy for ber, she is family. As brides we get one day of attention. ONE. Not an entire year. So no one is supposed to get engaged, pregnant, etc while you are planning your wedding, not to steal your thunder so to speak?. Now thats very childish and egoistic way of thinking. You are entitled to a day of spotlight, but not the entire planning, other people have lives too. As far as moh, your wedding is in may, she was not obligated to help with anything at this point. Moh is required to look good,.wear a dress you choose and be on time for the wedding, not help the entire planning process. Bridal party are not slaves, its your wedding and yours and grooms responsibility to plan it. If you need help, ask family or hire a wedding planner.

Post # 16
Member
553 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@ebolshak:  You know, I once said something about them not being brideslaves and I totally got slammed for it…I meant exactly what you are saying. Glad to have some comradery.

The topic ‘just need to get this off my chest’ is closed to new replies.

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