(Closed) Just need to vent.

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
13017 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I’m so confused.  What does the other woman have to do with the laundry situation? 

Post # 6
Member
365 posts
Helper bee

This sounds pretty irrational to me… what on earth isn’t he telling you?!

Post # 7
Member
662 posts
Busy bee

He lives with another woman and has an arrangement with her that is none of your business?!

 

 

Post # 8
Member
9691 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

You’re arguing about laundry.  But – the real issue that’s bothering you is this other woman.  It really sounds very “off” that he is living with another woman that you feel he has a “crush” on, and that he isn’t being entirely forthcoming about, i.e., telling you it’s “none of your business.” 

If you are going to be his wife, it absolutely is your business.  You need to get to the bottom of what is going on between them, that he feels so protective of their relationship.  Why does it need to be a secret from you if it’s just an innocent, platonic relationship? 

Post # 11
Member
9691 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@marielubert:  If the other woman had nothing to do with your argument at all, then why did you include her in both versions of your story?  You are right, it is crap that their “agreement” is not your business since you’re his fiancee, you should know what is going on, exactly, between them.  And maybe nothing is, but he shouldn’t say it’s none of your business.  That would piss me off, too. 

As far as arguing over money, etc., it sounds as though the two of you need to have a mature discussion about finances before getting further entangled.  Money can be a huge negative issue in a marriage if you’re not on the same page.

Edit:  Ok, it does sound as though he is attracted to her.  Are you ok with this living arrangement knowing there is a spark of attraction there?  If I were you I’d find out what the “agreement” is between them.  If you don’t mind answering some more questions – how long have you been together, and what are your ages?

Post # 14
Member
10851 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

It’s really weird that he got that upset about quarters and laundry. In your shoes, I likely would have asked the same innocent question, I’m not seeing why he flew off the handle at you. This is definitely not adding up.

Post # 16
Member
13017 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@marielubert:  I definitely think there is something else going on. But basically, you need to talk about finances (calmly) and this other woman (maturely).  Thanks for clarifying the details, I was so confused before!

The topic ‘Just need to vent.’ is closed to new replies.

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