Post # 1
So, my brother is planning on moving to CA in June (4 months before the wedding). A little background: He has 3 OWI’s (or DUI’s), has been in and out of jail for not obiding by the law (driving w/o license, etc), so therefor, does not have his license or a good job. He claims he wants to move out there for more opportunities and to get his license (laws aren’t as strict out there, so he can get it sooner). He is moving out there with NO job lined up… he will be living with one of his friends that he met in jail. My frustration is… I am afraid he won’t get a job right away and won’t have enough money to make it back. He is a groomsmen in the wedding. He has proven himself very unreliable, which sucks considering he is almost 29. I don’t want to be all stressed out that he won’t make it back, but I can’t help myself…. he is very selfish and doesn’t understand the importance of anything… he probably will wait until the last minute to even figure out how he’s getting back… let alone, who knows if he will be able to afford a plane ticket….ughhhh…. should I have a back up groomsman? It’s so sad I even have to think this way, but it’s all he has given me to believe.
Post # 3
I am sorry that you are feeling this way.
Have you talked to your brother about how you feel?
Maybe you should give him an “out”.. that way you won’t have to worry about him fullfilling his groomsman duty. Let him know that you really want him to be part of the wedding, but if the move is too hard on him, he doesn’t have to be in the bridal party. His presence will be enough.
Would that be an option for you?
Post # 4
@tranquility: It’s not just that he is a groomsmen. I am worried about him making it back, at all. If he is there, he will be in wedding. I am worried he just won’t have enough money to get a plane ticket or will be too irresponsible to book one soon enough to get a flight back….
I mentioned to him he could save $300 on the plane ticket by just waiting to move until after the wedding. I know he shouldn’t stop everything just for our wedding, but it only makes sense, espeically since he has no job lined up anyway… what is the rush? He just wants to prove to everyone that he will actually move. He always says he’s going to do things, and never does… so part of it is b/c of that… to prove everyone wrong… but I feel like it couldn’t come at worse time!
Post # 5
Your brother is 29. Time to let him take responsibility for his own life. Yes, you will miss him if he doesn’t make it back to the wedding, but your wedding and the marriage will go on.
Post # 6
@julies1949: Kind of an uncalled for, rude response. I know he is 29 but he is a groomsmen and committed to the wedding…I am venting. If you don’t like it, don’t respond.