Post # 1
A little background: In Dec, we’ll have been together 5 years. We got engaged Aug 2012 and the wedding day is March 16, 2013. We have our venue set and paid for, I have my dress, etc (things are moving along quickly and smoothly).
But there is one spot where we are having some serious difficulties: picking where to have a ceremony. This morning, we went to visist a Unitarian church (we’re both atheist) and while I enjoyed it and loved the space, my FI wasn’t so thrilled. He asked how I’d feel about having a friend be the officiant and maybe doing an immediate family + wedding party ceremony. I’m fine with this, but the issue is a) WHERE and b) would this cause serious family issues. He has a big family, and is the 1st one to get married in his immediate family. Being in NW Chicago suburbs, March weather can really be all over the place. So do we do something small and simple outside, invite everyone, have them stand, rent chairs, bring chairs, etc etc etc. So many factors. I’ve been trying to get out of him what he wants, what he sees when he thinks about us getting married, but all I get is “I don’t know, I don’t have a clue.” I’m just feeling a bit pressured to get this taken care of given the time frame, and still do something we’re going to be happy with.
Thanks for listening! And feel free to leave any comments or ideas!
Post # 3
You can always create a video of the small intimate ceremony and show that at the reception so everyone feels like they were included.
Post # 4
Do you have any decommissioned churches in your area? Then you can just bring whatever officiant you want. Or just set up a spot at your reception venue?
Post # 5
Maybe you can look at recreation halls in parks? Maybe a garden with a chapel? Can you have it at the same place as the recpetion? Good luck!
Post # 6
Ask him to close his eyes, picture the 2 of you standing next to each other professing your love and commitment. What does he feel? Does he feel the sun on his face, the breeze touching his skin? Does he feel the warmth of an enclosed room? Finally ask him…. “Where are you”? Hopefully he gets a sence of what he wants from trying to picture it. I always knew I wanted to be married outside so when we looked at venues we found one where we could have the ceremony outside and the reception inside. Suprising it was at a beautiful clubhouse of a housing community where his boss lives. Once we saw it, we just knew. Plus we had a friend who was a minister and having her there with us was a comfort, I didn’t feel nervous at all and totally recommend having your friend marry the 2 of you.
Post # 7
Thanks for the advice ladies! We are seriously considering having a mutual friend get the legal stuff needed to marry us. We are using our venue site as a back up for the ceremony. We didn’t want to have the ceremony there because it isn’t visually what we wanted, so it’s not where we would want out pictures, and we can’t see the sense of having the ceremony and reception in the same place, but a big gap for picture taking. We’re currently looking to see what hotel space or church space we can rent and have our own officiant, that is just proving to be difficult. With churches, they want their officiants. Hotels are still being investigated, might not be worth the price. I’ve always wanted it outside, but we need a back up incase the weather is bad.
@Bunny82: The video thing is a great idea! We will have to talk about that.