- 4 years ago
I’m new on the boards, but I feel like I’m in a holding pattern and I think a lot of you will understand.
So, here’s the backstory:
Boyfriend or Best Friend is 39, I just turned 36. We’ve both been married before, me for 11 yrs (2 kids, joint custody), him for 8 yrs, no kids. We’ve both been divorced for about 3 years and have been together for almost two, and have been living together for about 1 1/2.
He gets along great with my girls, and there are no issues with my ex. His ex still contacts him now and then, but it’s not a huge deal for either of us.
We’ve mentioned marriage, and it’s like this nebulous “in the future” thing. I feel anxious about putting a timeline out there, or even talking about it much because, like so many others, I don’t want to pressure him, blah blah. I am also holding off because he’s been working on a project house for about 3 years, and it’s almost done. Maybe, when it IS finished and he has more time/money, it will happen.
…What if it doesn’t? What if there’s always *something*? If not the house, other hobbies/projects/activities?
We’re pretty much perfect for each other, and I know he loves me and wants to be with me. I don’t know if I should just be patient (bah! lol) or bring the subject up again. I waffle between wanting the commitment, and telling myself that things are great and it’s just a piece of paper. Neither of us want or need a huge wedding- it would be more like throwing a party and saying a few words to each other.
At my age, I don’t want to waste time- and we both feel that we know what we want, and that we have it. Nothing is ever perfect, but what we have is pretty darn close.
My own inner deadline is February (Valentine’s); I’m not into ultimatums or anything like that- I will just have to do some cold hard thinking at that point.
Anyone have some perspective? Thanks so much in advance!!