(Closed) Just Not Interested?

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1042 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I definitely went through periods of interest/disinterest too. I would suggest for now, just schedule some time to look at venues and force yourself to do the legwork. I found that once our venue was booked, I started to get excited because I was able to see part of the vision and piece together what else I wanted in my mind.

Good luck!

Post # 4
Member
1566 posts
Bumble bee

I don’t think you should be spending time on details you don’t care about. Websites like this one make it seem like every bride is super-excited about planning all the little parts of the wedding. But it is a very self-selective group – brides who don’t care about the details don’t go on Weddingbee. There are plenty of weddings out there that aren’t about themes, colors, flowers, etc. And to be honest, guests don’t care much about those things either – when a bride puts in a ton of effort to make everything look perfect, it’s more for herself than the guests.

For me, personally, some DIY and details are a good distraction from work. But if I don’t enjoy something, I don’t do it. My parents didn’t have any details – just food, dancing, and friends. They keep me grounded and remind me what’s really important.

So I guess I have two pieces of advice. First, don’t feel like you have to be excited about and spend time on things you don’t care about. It’s 100% fine to outsource or skip them. Second, I think you and Fiance are coming from different perspectives and should work on meeting in the middle. Since he has all of these ideas, how involved is he going to be in making them happen? Make sure he knows how you feel and doesn’t expect you to spend a ton of time on making his ideas come to life. If you are clear with your mutual expectations upfront, you won’t disappoint each other later.

Post # 5
Member
7082 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2009

Sounds like our wedding ๐Ÿ™‚  We got married in the woods, with no curfew… brought in our own caterer, our own booze and did iPod DJ.  I was excited about little details, but when you get married in a beautiful setting, decorations don’t matter so much!  Our florist did a wonderful job, and different friends did things like putting up lanterns, flags and signs.

All in all it wound up feeling cozy and down home and was just what we wanted. 

Start by finding a beautiful setting and the rest will fall into place around that ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 7
Member
175 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I’m the same as you! The only reason I care about some things is because other people do! And it is strange, because I LOVE flowers, but when it came to picking wedding flowers I just had no interest. I put it off for almost a whole YEAR. That’s how indecisive I was because I just couldn’t find the desire to think about it and do it.

Ultimately, what motivated me was other people’s excitement about it. Just feed off of their excitement and you’ll be good. ๐Ÿ™‚ I would be fine with the simplest party… no matching colours, no cake, no flowers, etc. But I know that even though that option seems easier now, I won’t be happy with it on the day of. And I’ll wish I had put in the effort!!!

Post # 8
Member
1189 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

I went through a lull in my planning where I was disinterested.  I think it can either get old, overwhelming, or both.  The most unique wedding I went to was one that was far from “wedding-y” or traditional.   When it started, the guests walked in and the reception was already going with drinks, conversation, people buzzing about etc.  I believe there was also already food (can’t remember for sure).  Then, in the middle, the party was stopped for about 15 minutes, the couple got married, and then the party resumed.  It was fun, definitely a wedding, but most of all a great party I will never forget!

Post # 9
Member
137 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I completely relate!  That is exactly how I felt when I first started planning.  My advice: don’t put time and money into something you aren’t positive you want!

Since you want a huge party, but not something wedding-y, have you thought about doing a mini-ceremony/elopement soon, and a party later?  You can make the ceremony whatever feels right to you and your fiance – just the two of you in Vegas, just family on a beach, whatever.  Then you can plan a celebration party for some time in the future.  That way you won’t have all of the expectations attached to having a wedding and can make the party whatever you want.  Plus, it might get cheaper if you don’t use the word “wedding”!

Before you do any planning, THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT.  Weddings take a lot of effort, so don’t do it just because you feel like you’re supposed to!

Post # 10
Member
233 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Sounds like you need a local planner! If you can afford it, they will do all of the legwork for you. They can find the sound system to rent, the place with the late curfew, will know the caterer to bring in to that venue, etc. And they don’t have to be terribly expensive either, because you don’t need any event design services, just some vendor hookups.

I resisted hiring one for my long distance planning for so long, but finally got overwhelmed and gave in. Best decision ever.

 

Post # 11
Member
687 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

The best wedding I went to was very non-weddingy. Like the wedding erypre went to, the “party” had already started when people arrived. There were drinks and appetizers, followed by music outside, a dance performance and then the ceremony which was MAYBE 10 minutes. It was amazingly beautiful, however, and you could feel all the love the moment you walked into the door.

After that, there was food and dancing all night. There were NO decorations. Not a one. It was at a restaurant/bar with a lovely outside area. Invitations were sent via evite. Honestly, it was the most sincere and lovely wedding I have ever been to and it was completely representative of the couple.

 

Post # 12
Member
3125 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

I’d like to attend your wedding! ๐Ÿ™‚ You could have an evening ceremony and provide drinks and finger foods and just have a blast! Though there are traditions, you don’t have to follow them. Follow your gut! if you are having fun, your guests will have fun. if you have the traditional wedding and you’re not interested, the guests will feel the vibe and not have as good a time. so just plan what you like, don’t plan what you don’t, and accept people’s help along the way for things you’re not as interested in!

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