Just not invite someone?

posted 5 months ago in Guests
Post # 16
317 posts
Helper bee

Call me old fashioned, but friendship is something reserved for those who you have real, meaningful relationships. It sounds like this woman is an acquaintance at best – no need to feel guilty about not inviting everyone you know.

that said – it sounds like you spend a lot of time with this person – a direct conversation with her was warranted years ago, and long overdue. 

Post # 18
100 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 1995

I agree with the bee who advised that your fiance should be the one to confront her. He is not part of that friendship circle and isn’t worried about hurting her feelings. Invite him along the next time. When she says something inappropriate HE matter of factly shuts her down.  

You are inviting her to the local wedding, so you are technically not excluding her.


Post # 19
684 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

I only invited people I actively like with one exception: my mum’s new partner. He’s never actively said anything unpleasant to me but I just don’t like him. I invited him anyway because I knew he wasn’t likely to spoil the wedding or anything.

Post # 21
99 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: February 2020

Here’s the thing…it’s YOUR wedding.  It’s not like it’s one of his or your family members that you can’t leave out.  It doesn’t sound like shes that great of a friend anyway so I would be more concerned about being happy at your wedding than offending someone you don’t care for anyway.  It’s your day and you don’t have to justify your decisions to anyone.  He doesn’t want her there, she irritates you, so…

Post # 23
1014 posts
Bumble bee

I know you don’t want any drama but I think no matter what you do with this individual, she will create drama: either at your wedding (if u invite her) or when she realizes she’s not invited.

You might as well do what YOU want to do because you can’t win with people like this.

If it were me, I’d play it safe and not invite that kind of crazy to my wedding because I don’t need some wack-a-doodle causing problems there! 

If she makes a scene, then she is just proving why she couldn’t be included in the first place- she can’t act like a mature adult capable of partaking in a happy event.

No one will blame you. They will see that she is crazy and that maybe YOU would be crazy to invite that to your wedding lol!

ETA: also, you not inviting her may cause a natural end to the “friendship” when she realizes she’s not included. Win win!! ahsoka :  

Post # 24
351 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

ahsoka :  I invited a couple of people my husband and I can’t stand, since I invited everyone else in our group of friends.  I felt it was the right thing to do since excluding them would be hurtful, and I don’t have a good enough reason for not liking them (they’ve never done anything horrible to me, just typical late 20’s people who still live at home and haven’t grown up yet)

We had 80 people and honestly, I didn’t even notice them. 

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