(Closed) Just plain mean!

posted 9 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
416 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2008 - Imperia Hotel (modern chic hotel)

Aw, Im sorry… Im sure hes planning a perfect moment…
Hang in there. 🙂

Post # 4
Member
2640 posts
Sugar bee

(Imagine the that sound of a recording scratching, then complete silence.)  What is the deal with the sister???  Do you nt get along?  Why would she say those things?  She proposed to her boyfriend?  Are you saying when your boyfriend showed her the ring, you feel like she wantedto hurry to get engaged and have her wedding first?

Mmmm.  I would have a good talk with your boyfriend about this.  I would get some things sorted out about what his sister is saying, and why she’s saying those things.  He should talk to her and call her out on all of this. 

Also talk to your boyfriend about this business where he’s teasing you.  Just flat out tell him you are trying to wait patiently and don’t want to pressure or push him, even though it’s difficult because you know he has the ring (and basically have your hopes up that he is ready). But that you don’t understand and really don’t appreciate the teasing about how he keeps saying he was going to propose all of these nights.

Perhaps he doesn’t realize it isn’t funny to you.  Or is it possible that this is some sort of passive agressive way of getting back at your for going out?  Is it usually when you hang out with other people and he’s at home?  Are you more of an extrovert -have more friends, while he is more introverted or doesn’t have many friends?  Does he want to hang out with your friends?  Does he have some insecurity, thinking if you’re out with the girls you could meet someone else?  (Not that you have to answer.  Just trying to get you thinking about why he might be doing this.)

Post # 5
Member
2324 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

You are ready to marry the guy and he’s bought a ring, but if he doesn’t propose to you by next week, you’re going to leave him? Please sit down and think this through. That’s crazy talk! He’s just getting to you with all the jokes. Do what Tanya said and explain that you aren’t taking the jokes well. If you would really leave him, maybe you and him need to sit down and have a very serious conversation engagement or not. There has got to be other things going on if you feel that way.

Post # 6
Member
1246 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

Wow. Maybe he’s waiting for his wacky sister’s wackiness to die down a little bit.

Maybe his teasing is his way of alleviating his stress about the proposal. I agree with Tanya, I’d tell him flat-out that I don’t like it. Say it makes you sad and upset and you’re trying to wait patiently but it’s frustrating. If he keeps up the teasing, well, that’s informative. Be careful you don’t encourage it by laughing or joking back — if you do, you’re reinforcing it and he won’t know you’re upset. I’m not saying to get super-pouty, but don’t act like it’s no big deal if it is.

Post # 7
Member
389 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

i wouldnt stress too badly about it, although i would take the other bee’s suggestions and tell him how his teasing is making you feel.  i agree, you are jumping the gun a little bit by saying that you willl leave him if he doesnt propose by your 5 year anniversary, which is next week.  calm down girl!!!! MORE than likely, it seems like that will be the night that it will happen.  He has the ring and you have a major milestone anniversary coming up VERY soon…i think you know too that more than likely it will happen on this day! Breathe and ENJOY the FACT that your special day is coming very, very, soon! 

in terms of his sister, slap the wench upside the head for talking all that smack! talk to your boy about why she is acting like this, and if needed have a mediation session between you, her, and have him play the mediator role (if it is possible for him to be the mediator, since he knows both of you well.)  How well do you know his sister? has she always been like this to you for the 5 years you have dated your guy? if she is older than him, it is also very possible that she is very upset over the fact that he was about to propose, and that he could potentially get married before she does.  the whole situation might not have anything to even do with you, but i hope that either way, you are able to iron it out!!

Post # 8
Member
61 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

Have you talked to him about how this makes you feel? I think it’s one thing if he’s just waiting for the right moment, but teasing you about it just seems cruel. I understand what it feels like to wait for him to propose, and it’s not fun. I always told him that I didn’t want to wait forever, but in my heart I knew the truth was I would. So, if you are seriously considering leaving him over this, put a lot of thought into those feelings.

As for his sister, I would have a discussion with your bf about this as well. If he really loves you, he would talk to his sister and let her know that it isn’t ok for her to say those things. 

 I hope things turn out ok for you!

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