(Closed) Just realizing that I’m a push over

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
6998 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

you are not alone. I have always been very non confrontational and a little “too nice” as i’ve been told. i just dont like to push people..i would never be good in sales. haha. The only time i tend to stand up for myself is when something really aggravates me (for example…we have been having problems with our cable and every show we DVR is f’ed up…and then it started happening to non DVR’d shows…after months of being annoyed and having the cable company come out on more than one occassion i called and FLIPPED! which was so not me but it felt amazing afterwards!) When i find myself in a situation where i dont feel comfortable being pushy i usually turn to Fiance or my sister..she is my best friend but man are we opposite…she has no problem calling people out. Even though i wish i could be a bit more blunt like her, i really like how laid back i can be about things…its just me. I dont really mind asking for help when it comes to this kind of stuff…because its just not in my makeup for me to be rude or pushy to people no matter how frustrated i get.

Post # 4
Member
1986 posts
Buzzing bee

Our landlord tried to tell us that there’s nothing he can do about the fact that our furnace will only heat the top floor of our apartment which then becomes unbearably hot so we can’t be up there.

Just curious, what do you think your landlord can do about it? Heat rises…

Post # 5
Member
3176 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Maybe I’m biased seeing as I’m a pushover too, but I don’t think those two examples you gave are really good indicators as to if you are a pushover. We have a major draft that comes through our bottom floor by the wall in our apartment (in summer when our downstairs neighbor grills the smoke comes in) we complained to the landlord who said there was nothing that could be done because to fix it would cost them too much money, they offered to let us out of our lease for no charge, but thats it. We didnt move but I don’t think that makes us a pushover, just poor and unable to afford a better place to live 🙂 As far as your invites, maybe you could look at a new vendor or maybe she really is having personal problems and you should decide if its worth the wait.

I don’t think you are a pushover in these instances, they are just sucky situation…

Post # 6
Member
1433 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@Belle2Be: there are lots of things you can do to a furnace and a home to fix the problem of too much hot air upstairs.  For instance, install a forced air furnace or air handler with a variable speed to move air from the downstairs to the upstairs to maintain an even temperature in the home….

Also, installing damper in the attic will lower the airflow upstairs.

Post # 7
Member
1433 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@asdf: I’m often consider myself a pushover and it sucks.  But I suppose when you’re able to recognize it in yourself, you can start to change that.  It’s really hard though.

I hate being direct and angry with people.

Post # 8
Member
1398 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Welcome to the club – I’m thinking of seeing a therapist because of how pathetic I am. I let our roommate live with us for two years no questions asked, I never even asked him for rent! Because I would get too nervous and not know how to bring it up. He “moved out” but only his body, his room is still filled with his shit and he’s never here for me to confront him anyway. Stresses me out.

I got a tattoo last month that many people on here know about, where the dude told me to trust him and that he could make my tattoo happen, and now I’m left wondering if I should contact him and tell him if I’m unhappy, or just run away and find someone new because I dont know how to confront him about my awful tattoo.

I get bullied constantly, I’ve never once gotten out of a ticket when I deserved to – I just have it written all over my face that people can do whatever they want. I will ignore something and hope it solves itself… I’m learning how shitty of a life I’m making for myself.

Post # 9
Member
971 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

@MsGolightly: My guess is that, if the landlord is like most, they don’t want to spend money on unnecessary repairs.  I’d bet that the landlord doesn’t see the heating situation as a necessary repair and that’s why he’s not doing anything about it.  Most landlords will pay for furnace repairs, hot water heater replacement, etc.  Fixing the way a home is heated, as long as it is heated, is usually is not considered a necessary repair. 

When we had our first apartment, we lived on the 2nd floor.  The person living on the first floor controlled the heat and would have that thermostat cranked.  We could walk around in our shorts with windows open in the dead of Canadian winter!  Our landlord said it wasn’t a necessary repair and told us to basically suck it up.  That’s when we decided to buy a house!

Post # 11
Member
3314 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I was a living breathing doormat for about 20 years of my life.  Then I finally decided that enough was enough.  Now my hubby considers me the strong one in the relationship!  😀

Stick up for yourself.  None of what you described is acceptable.  Research your rights and start asserting them!  *hugs*  It’s not an easy road, but it’s worth it to stop being a doormat.

 

Best of luck!

Post # 12
Member
1398 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

@asdf: last night the roommate came home and was talking about leaving for thanksgiving and I actually asked him when he was moving out! My heart was racing but I just decided I had to do it, I felt so proud of myself for the rest of the night!

Post # 13
Member
1986 posts
Buzzing bee

@asdf: Wow thanks! I was actually curious, as we have a similar problem in our condo but I never thought to ask the landlord to fix it. I might have to go check out those covers 🙂

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