Post # 1
Member
709 posts
Busy bee
About 2 months ago me and my really close Aunt E had a falling out. We were really close and shared a lot. She was like one of my best friends. The falling out is a whole another post in itself. Well her sister lets call her Aunt F and her had a very weird relationship but no matter what we are family and always can count on each other. Well Aunt F has been really really weird and mean to me lately. I think its because Aunt E may be saying very harsh things about me or lied about the falling out. Although Aunt F has been weird she has been saying she wanted to help us with the wedding. She asked what things we needed. Of course I am not going to refuse help (maybe I should have so my feelings wont be hurt) and I told her the little things we still needed to get. She told me she got us the box where you drop off the cards or gift cards in already but if we didnt like it she would take it back and that she would also get us the unity candle. GREAT I was so happy she was helping and reaching out. We had a good little talk about the wedding which was making me think oh maybe it was just in my head that she was being weird towards me. Well after talking she kept asking if she could drop it off or if we wanted to pick it up. I offered for her to come over to our house (we have lived there a year and they havent been over to see it) and I would make dinner or we could have a BBQ but she said no she was busy or said thats ok just come to my job. Ok well I understand busy since we are always busy.
Well today she emails me that she stopped by my house well my neighborhood and couldn’t find my house (she had the wrong street number) and I said “oh no thats the wrong address I am so sorry if I had known I would have came outside. you should have called me” She said “oh no you were already at work thats ok I will stop by another day”
I offered to pick it up from her job and take her to lunch as a thank you but she is trying to avoid me at all cost.
I don’t understand why she would want to help with the wedding if she doesnt want to be around me or is avoiding me. She has always been the type of person that does wonderful things for people always helping out but she likes to make sure everyone knows what she did. Maybe she just wanted to help us so she can tell everyone she helps us.
It just makes me sad that I feel like my blood relative doesnt love me. =( Sorry so long. Just had to vent
Post # 3
Member
426 posts
Helper bee
🙁 I’m sorry to hear you’re dealing with those family challenges. I think around wedding time, family support takes on a whole new level of meaning (as does family stress), and I think there’s a tendency to feel extra hurt/sensative to the sad things.
I hope that you and your aunt find a way to have some open dialogue, so there can be some smoothing over of these challenges. And from what I’m seeing (or readign rather), you don’t sound like you’ve done anything wrong…so as much as possible, try not to put any blame/sadness on yourself in relation to you.
Post # 4
Member
2570 posts
Sugar bee
Its amazing how weddings can make all of us and family members act differently than they normally would. Things become more sensitive, more dramatic, well more everything really.
I am sorry this is happening. Sounds like you should call her and out right ask her. Tell her that you feel she is trying to avoid her and it is making you sad. Can you she explain to you what you did to upset her. Try not to be accusatory and then once you pose the question just remain silent so she has to respond. Silence is awkward and likely she will come back with something (even if its denying it). If she does deny it, it may be enough to help her realize she is acting more obvious than she realized. Or it may give you a chance to talk it out.
Post # 5
Member
451 posts
Helper bee
There’s a few things in life in I know are true: when it rains it pours, people don’t always get what they deserve good or bad, and while families are wonderful they are also the most stressful sometimes. We all go through times like this, and it’s never easy. But especially when there is a wedding it makes it even more difficult. In time perhaps whats really bothering Aunt F will present itself. And hopefully Aunt E will come around and your relationship will be as good as it ever was. I do believe this won’t last forever, and in time hearts will heal. I’m so sorry you’re going through this right now.
But remember, do what’s best for you and your new to be husband. In the end you have a new family that you’re about to embark on and getting it off to a good start is the best gift you can give to yourselves. Rely on him in times like this, maybe this can be something that can help you two to grow even closer!! Silver lining to the cloud if you will. Either way, hang in there. Everything will be alright.
Post # 6
Member
709 posts
Busy bee
@judithsr: thank you so much. I really appreciate it. You are right during this once in a lifetime event I feel the need to want to have their support and no drama but I guess thats not possible.
Post # 7
Member
709 posts
Busy bee
@lefeymw: I think I am going to give her a call during my lunch break. I would really love to take her to lunch and chit chat about why she is being weird towards me. I haven’t done anything to her and she if she doesn’t like me than I dont want her to feel like she has to help me in any way.
Post # 8
Member
709 posts
Busy bee
@NYshoppingirl: Thank you so much for your thoughtful words. You are so right. I need to just get over it. Hopefully it will work out and I can rebuild both relationships with my Aunt. No one in our family has ever had a wedding (they are married but it was by court and Aunt F eloped) so I figured this would be a great way for my family to all come together and I would love any advice or help. THe help doesnt have to include money just support. Thank you =)