(Closed) “Just relax” but I’m relaxed.

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1573 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Some people might not realize that brides have deadlines.  For our sanity we need to plan as much ahead of time as possible so it’s not all crunched in the last month.  Sorry that you have to deal with this problem.  Do you have a different option someone more reliable?

Post # 4
Member
1023 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

This is my fiance and his family. I am miss planner and so I wanted to get everything squared away ASAP. Now we still have enough time, but everytime I mention wanting to do something they are all…relax, there is plenty of time. Well yes there is plenty of time until that day, but certain services need to be taken care of in advance. I’m going to be a mess the two months before with finals, graduation, job searching if I haven’t found one or don’t plan on going to grad school right away, ect. I would rather not have to throw that on top.

I freaked out one night on my guy after he told me to not worry about things…now I think he might be getting it.

OMG just noticed how close you are….I WOULD BE SO PEEVED if people were saying that and I was two weeks out!

Post # 6
Member
782 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2010

Ugh. People tell me that all the time and it drives me CRAZY! THEY make me stressed. The other line that irks me is “you have plenty of time.” Um…actually, I don’t, which is why I want to get this stuff done now! I’m gettins married in February, and what happens before Feb? Thanksgiving, christmas, new years, etc., so of course people are going to be a little preoccupied then, which is why I want go get things done early!

Post # 7
Member
531 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Condescending folk really bother me. I find that the more someone tells me to ‘relax” or “calm down” about something the more annoyed I become- even if I wasn’t annoyed in the first place. ๐Ÿ˜›

Post # 8
Member
1084 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I think I was on the other side.   People trying to hammer out details with me and me kinda being vague.  I think I was too worried about things becoming stringent and inflexible when we didn’t know how things would go.  Maybe you can discuss with someone else instead to hammer out the fine details instead of the people who just want to go with the flow. 

Post # 10
Member
487 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2009 - Byodo-In Temple, Luau Reception

808, are the people you’re talking about from Hawaii too? I ask because peeps in Hawaii are soooo laid back that maybe their mistaking your planning and organization as stress. They’re on Hawaii time and not wedding planning time. :o)

Post # 12
Member
606 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

808bride, you sound like me. Very A personality in so far as needing concrete answers, a big plan-ahead person, etc. We are in the same boat my dear! I would like to start getting some things nailed down and my FI/FMIL keep saying the same thing ‘relax, we have time.’ Well, time… not so much. We had time 6 months ago. We are now less than a year out from the big day and vendors book up quickly around here, especially on a labor day weekend. I would say just do what you can and don’t be reliant on others that keep giving you this ‘relax’ or ‘we’ve got time’ silly business. I know what it’s like to want to plan it, arrange it, make sure it’s right… then you can relax! ๐Ÿ™‚ If you want it done right, do it yourself. ๐Ÿ™‚

Good Luck!

Bella

Post # 13
Member
2004 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

I definitely have people like you are describing in my life!

That said, people don’t change just because it’s your wedding. If they are not planning types, they won’t suddenly develop a penchant for it just because you’re getting married. So if you really want to get things squared away now, and you need help, try to find people who are more intrinsically amenable to working on your idea of a deadline, not their own. Or, decide which tasks really can wait, and then wait until you are only a few months out before you solicit their help again. When you’re in a closer time frame to your wedding date I am sure they will be more forthcoming. 

Sorry you’re feeling frustrated! I hope you’re feeling better about this soon.  

Post # 14
Member
23 posts
Newbee

I was panicking about finding time to visit venues the other day, and my fiance said to me, “relax, we’ll stop by a few places on Saturday.”  Lol – I was like you can’t just “stop by,” they have weddings on Saturdays!!!  Clearly, I’m thinking through a few more of the details on the planning end.  I’ll have to give him very specific requests and deadlines when I want his help.

Post # 15
Member
2066 posts
Buzzing bee

I’m a type A planner so I understand how you are feeling.  But my family and friends understand that this is my personality, so they understand I’m planning way in advance so I’m not stressed out at the last minute.  

I have a massive spreadsheet of all wedding to dos, and once I showed it to Fiance, he started to realize how much goes into planning a wedding and he got on board and fast.  Now he’s in charge of things and I’m in charge of things and we’re making great progress.  

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