Post # 1
Let me make this clear from the beginning: I am not still in love with my ex. I have a Fiance that I adore, and he and I are way better suited to one another than ex-FI and I ever were. Ex and I have cut off all contact due to a falling out, and are not friends on FB any more.
Anyway, I was on my page a minute ago just looking at everyone’s college shenanigans and sports memes, and all of a sudden I see about 12 pics of my ex-FI with his new fiancee–I guess someone I added forever ago ended up taking their engagement pics. I had known they were engaged for awhile, but seeing the pics was quite unexpected.
My stomach felt like lead, and now I am in a crappy mood and don’t know why. I very much don’t want him back; in fact, I am the one that broke things off. So why do I feel hurt and all kinds of dreadful about this? She also isn’t substantially (if at all) prettier, more successful or a better person than me, so I am pretty sure it’s not jealousy of other aspects of her life, either. I don’t understand it, but wish I didn’t feel this way. It’s put a bit of a damper on my evening.
Post # 3
Its because its your ex, its an ego thing, not jealousy, but ego. We dont want them, but we really dont want them to be with someone else either. After a day or two you get over it and are genuinely happy that they are happy 😉
Post # 4
It’s ok, I’d even argue that it’s normal. When one of my ex’s got engaged and married last year, I was happy for him (we don’t interact anymore, but I know his now-wife because we all went to college together), but it was still weird even though I was already married. I think it’s just another definitive closing point that drills home a portion of your life is officially over.
But, if it makes you feel better, he probably felt the same when when he heard you were engaged. (I don’t know why that would make you feel better, but maybe. ; )
It’ll take a few days, and then you’ll go back to not thinking about it.
Post # 5
I totally get what you mean. I found out one of my ex’s got married and I was in a snit for the rest of the day.
Post # 6
@TurdFerguson: the first time you see pics like this it can be very “awkward”. i think that’s what you’re feeling. indifferent and awkward.
Post # 7
@minipenguin: +1 It’s human nature! You’ll forget about it soon. Everyone has a tendency to check up on their exes and wonder what’s going on, even if they know they’re not still in love with them. Don’t compare yourself to her or their relationship. Focus on your life now and you’ll be happy.
Post # 8
@TurdFerguson: you loved him at one point. it’s completely normal. Seeing his face probably just brought up old emotions. I blocked every single form of contact with my ex to prevent that from ever happening. we also didn’t end on the greatest note, so the thought of him just aggrivates me. sure I want him to be happy, but I could give a shit less if he is engaged! don’t stress – it’ll blow over (:
Post # 9
posted in the wrong thread – edited blank.
Post # 10
- Wedding: June 2014 - Baby #2 due Sep 2017
I think these feelings are normal and I’m sure you’ll get over it soon enough. You just didn’t expect to see the pictures and therefore didn’t have a chance to mentally prepare yourself. Don’t worry though 🙂
Post # 11
@TurdFerguson: Relax: it just means you’re normal 🙂 I dated a REALLY great guy for a few months YEARS before I even met my current Boyfriend or Best Friend. I ended up dumping him for a jackass and breaking his heart. Years later, he still is a friend of mine (we don’t talk on the phone or text or anything, so mainly FB) which is more than I deserve. He hasnt really dated anyone since I dumped him.
I am happily planning a wedding to a man I’ll be engaged to soon, but I think that if i saw that ex was seeing someone, much less engaged, I’d get a little twinge, too.
Post # 12
If it makes you feel any better, his Fiance is probably comparing herself to you in your engagement pics and feeling weird about it RIGHT NOW.