(Closed) Just say no to ering guilt.

posted 7 years ago in Rings
Post # 3
Member
14658 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I dont really have any guilt for the purchase of my current ring, and I dont think I’d change the setting, but I am pretty sure I’d be guilty as hell if I lost the ring.  It’s not even because its my e-ring, but it’d be the same guilt as if… say I stupidly totalled my car cause I wasnt paying attention.  It’d be a monetary guilt for me for having to pay the cost for replacement on such an expensive object.

Post # 4
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

While you can feel that way, I would feel guilty and ungrateful to tell my husband that the ring he poured hours into finding wasn’t good enough for me. To each their own, but I couldn’t imagine how he would feel if I kept changing my mind and making him buy me so many rings. It would make me feel awful, I know that

Post # 5
Member
1013 posts
Bumble bee

holy crap you changed your mind alot!  I think i wouldnt have an issue having to change it once if i really hated what i was given (which i dont see happening) or if i ened up losing it (AH I WOULD DIE!) but to each his/her own!

You seem to have a really open relationship and as long as he didnt take offence your golden!

Post # 6
Member
786 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

i think everyone should just feel how they feel. My fiance spent weeks researching and picking out the most perfect diamonds for my ring as well as going to the trouble of having the setting custom made. I love my engagement ring SOOO much – its my dream ring – so I could never imagine wanting to “upgrade”. But even if I didn’t love it, I think knowing how much time my Fiance spent creating it, I wouldnt upgrade it. Again, people can feel how they feel, and if you were comfortable upgrading or switching so many times, than thats wonderful as we should all be comfortable with our actions. But Im super sentimental and I just would never do it.

Post # 7
Member
3374 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I REALLY wanted a say in what my ring looks like and had SO many reasons for doing this. So my end result is a ring that I love and am 100% happy with.

That being said, I see nothing AT ALL wrong with anyone changing or upgrading their ring unless if they can’t afford it.

I’m offended by the idea that the guy gets to pick out a ring he likes, stick it on a girls finger and think she’ll be 100% happy with it for 50 years, and that she shouldn’t say a word otherwise.

 

Post # 8
Member
5009 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

I have a variety of rings that I wear on my left ring finger as engagement rings.

Currently I have:

  1. My mum’s 0.25ct Ring Bearer diamond solitaire in white gold.
  2. My grandma’s 1.24 transitional with two 0.12 baguettes set in platinum.
  3. 1.71ct emerald cut morganite with two round sapphires set in silver.
  4. 3mm Titanium bad with a 0.01ct diamond set in it.

I’m planning to buy or have made:

  1. Pear-shaped 0.86ct colour change garnet with two 0.25ct diamonds set in yellow or rose gold (one of the 0.25ct diamonds being from ring 1 above).
  2. Pear-shaped amethyst surrounded with diamonds set in white gold.
  3. Emerald cut diamond solitaire in either platinum or rose gold.
  4. Sapphire and diamond cluster ring a la Princess Catherine.

Post # 9
Member
6394 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

I don’t know that I’ll ever change my ring, but I don’t see the big deal, either. 

To some people their ring is a symbol of their love, but it’s also jewelry. My mom has changed hers a couple times, and it’s just because she wants something different. Not a big deal at all! If the money is around for it and both people are okay with it, why judge? Rock your rings, ladies, no matter how many you’ve had <3.

Post # 10
Member
11325 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

I think thats great that you’re happy with your ring and that your husband clearly doesn’t mind all the changes. That works for you two, so I think thats completely fine. 

But, I don’t think that I’d necessarily promote an across-the-board “you can and should change your ring at any whim” policy. I think that an engagement ring isn’t JUST a ring its a really big symbol. My husband spent a really long time picking THIS ring. He would be really hurt if I wanted something different. While I think he’d let me do it because he wants me to be happy, I know that it would hurt him to ever imply that I don’t absolutely love the ring HE chose for me. I think that if you are unhappy with your ring you should really think long and hard about how your husband would feel about your changing, and if it would bother him then I do think you should just keep the ring you have. No piece of jewelry is worth hurting my husband’s feelings. 

Post # 11
Member
365 posts
Helper bee

I’ve had more rings than I care to list.  🙂  Married 12 years this summer.  That’s the reason I hang around here actually, because I’m always looking for the perfect ring.  My husband doesn’t care, we didn’t even have a ring when we got engaged.  The ring we did buy, I picked out and paid for, it was horrible quality and is long gone now.  He just wants me to be happy.  He’s had 4 or 5 rings since we got married, he lost the original one at work.  Last summer we picked out fun stainless steel rings to wear in our pool (so we wouldn’t ruin our good stuff).  I don’t think it makes us selfish or wrong, we just like variety.

Someone mentioned their mom having a wedding band and wearing a bunch of different gemstone/fun rings with it.  That’s pretty much what I want to do.

I can totally understand being sentimental about rings, I think people should just do (and buy) what works for them.

Post # 12
Member
893 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I personally don’t think I’ll ever change my engagement ring.  The only time I ever see myself getting a new one is if we pass down my engagement ring to our future kids. 

Post # 13
Member
3482 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

I understand replacing a ring with a different style if the original gets lost or damaged. Having extremely picky taste in jewelry, I can also get on board with going shopping for a different ring if the one he proposed with was the polar opposite of what you like. I even understand the whole upgrading thing.

I just don’t really get changing out an engagement ring for a different model whenever the mood strikes. I put a lot of time and effort into choosing a ring that I would be happy to wear on a very long-term basis, and I can’t imagine just changing my mind and swapping it for something else. I figure I have a bunch of other perfectly good fingers available if indecision strikes 🙂

Post # 14
Member
5009 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

@linguo42: I don’t really like wearing more than one ring set at a time. I’ve tried and I feel uncomfortable with it. I didn’t pick my ring; I love it but it wasn’t my choice.

Post # 15
Member
630 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

My first ring was a 1/3 carat diamond set in a simple white gold ring. (I picked it out.)

Then I decided I wanted something ‘unique’ so I picked out this ring:

Then I decided that above ring was too bulky and looked like a costume piece, so I picked out a new set because of a good sale price:

And now, I just can’t say that I absolutely love it. My dream set is this:

I think my regret comes from the fact that Fiance didn’t pick out a ring, or put any effort into a proposal so I’m bitter and taking it out on my jewelry. lol

Post # 16
Member
858 posts
Busy bee

@MrsSl82be: I have to agree with you. The reason I love my ring so much is because my Fiance picked it out ( I showed him a few of my favorites because he asked me to but he picked the ring I have on his own) if it was just any other ring it would not mean as much to me and I could never hurt him by making him feel what he picked was not good enough

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