Post # 1
Yes, I am an idiot. I had my first “wedding-related mental breakdown” in the middle of my local post office. For a whole year, I have been completely normal…but the stars for crazy ass bride aligned today. I am paying for my wedding myself and planning it myself. I am fairly organized and had money saved, but it seems like every time I turn around, I am having to spend more money. Take my invitations for example–brought them in today to mail thinking they might cost around $1. They are in a rectangular envelope of normal size, but do have a bump due to a ribbon.
I have tried to cut costs everywhere and knew that ribbon would be a little more expensive, but the invitations were budget (just like everything else for my wedding except my dress, which my aunt SO GENEROUSLY paid for as my gift). The postmaster couldn’t fit my invites through the slot thingy, and I had to pay $2 in stamps per invite. Granted, that is only $100 more than I thought I was spending, but I just started crying like an child, took my stamps, and left. He will have a great story to tell his wife over dinner. 🙂 He looked so sympathetic as soon as I handed him the envelope; I knew it was going to be bad news.
I know I am having some hormonal issues, coupled with the stress of grading research papers, writing senior letters, moving to a house (yay!) on graduation day, lesson planning for summer reading and for new preps next year, planning my wedding from a distance, and hating where I have been living since July. I have no friends in this town because everyone my age has kids, and my work is my life. The stamps were just the straw that broke the camel’s back. When I came back to work, it was obvious that I had been crying and some of my co-teachers walked in the lounge and saw me and were comforting. But I feel like a total ding-dong. Luckily, they know how overwhelmed I have been with life lately. Otherwise, they might commit me. 😀
Please tell me about some sort of wedding-related emotional breakdown you have had so I don’t feel like a complete and total loser. Thanks for reading my novel!
Post # 3
Oh honey! It sounds like you’ve got a lot going on right now, and as another budget-conscious girl, I understand being frustrated at something like this. Don’t be too hard on yourself.
Post # 4
Oh I can relate. I knew mine would be expensive, but I didn’t realize that the thickness of it made it into a “parcel” not a letter. AND that the RSVP we got was “too rigid” to be a postcard as intended, which tacked on extra postage for that.
I didn’t cry, but I did have to atone to Darling Husband who wasn’t expecting having to shell out an extra $300 just for invites :/
Post # 5
Where do you live? I’m in Seattle. I feel the same way, swamped with school, planning from a distance, and here’s the kicker…I just saw a show last night on the Travel Channel about my Venue being so crappy that they will probably go out of business in 6 months. Okay, what??!! And news came to me yesterday, after 6 months of me agonizing of my custom made engagement ring. The jeweler made it wrong…oh so wrong. I couldn’t possibly wear it with a band so for 6 months I wore it on my right hand and we bought a cheap ring from Fred Meyer to be my engagement ring. Finally, Thursday night I broke down. I cried. I took the ring back to Fred Meyer and begged them to let me get another ring…a ring I swore was a better fit for what I was looking for. The window for returns had long long long passed but the jeweler agreed as long as I was sure (and the new ring was a few hundred more). But he had to order it, b/c they didn’t have it in stock. They had it at a nearby mall where I first saw it. It was okay though because I knew it was going to be better. But then I started freaking out and had to see it. Drove out to the mall (in another city) and they had already bagged it up to ship over to my store. So I tried on every ring in the store…give or take. And tried on one that was the same ring but in a different color and I hated it. HATED IT. I didn’t come home until 9:30pm and my fiance was just pulling out of our driveway because he was going to go looking for me. I cried and cried and told him just how miserable I was and how I couldn’t take it anymore with all these stupid rings. That I didn’t want a ring at all. And I really meant it. The next day I skipped school and went to a jeweler to fix my original ring and he said he could do it but wouldn’t. WTF! He said I had to go back to the jeweler who made it and tell her she did it wrong. So I did, another hour drive to the jeweler and she doesn’t listen and is pushy the first time until I cry and just say she doesn’t listen and it’s not what we wanted or asked for and we were trying to just accept it but I’m miserable…two trips back…gave up my favorite white gold earring for her to “fix” my ring and FINALLY yesterday I had the ring I originally wanted…from day one. All was good…and then that show came on :/ Lot of champagne and stress for me this past week!
Good luck hun. If you lived in Seattle I’d invite you over for some wedding support 🙂
Post # 6
Ugh. I feel your pain! I work with the post office on a daily basis due to my job, and there are so many stupid rules and regulations that they use to “up the costs.” It is maddening! Hang in there, hun. Take a hot bubble bath and watch a good chick flick. Things will look better soon! There is a reason it is called “going postal”, so you’re definitely not alone!!!! :p
Post # 7
*Hugs* Hang in there! You’re not a loser, I think it’s totally normal to have a mini-crying session in public! I mean really, what normal person hasn’t done this at least once in their lives?! 😉 Congrats on your upcoming wedding!
Post # 8
@icetea: I am happy you have the ring you want now–what a crap storm though. I am in Texas. My Fiance laughs at me because I tell him all the time that I want to move to Seattle even though I have never been there. He thinks it is funny that I want to live somewhere I have never visited. 🙂
@risingsun: You are right…I am ALWAYS way too hard on myself. :/
@BothCoasts: Yes! He told me mine was a parcel too, and I was like: “You mean this skinny little thing? I could have sent a wedding invitation package!” 😀
@mrs_pugetsound: I literally just snorted at your “going postal” comment…yep, I’m that person.
@Luv2BeachIt: I don’t know that it was a MINI crying session, but I am totally claiming that now!
Post # 9
AW! It’ll be okay! Deep breaths! Melt downs are okay. Just have a drink or an ice cream or a bath or whatever relaxes you. It. Will. All. Be. Okay. And know you’ve got lots of good vibes coming your way!
Post # 10
@JenGirl: Good idea! On Monday, before Fiance left town for a week and a half for re-training, he left me with a bag of ice, a bottle of Hypnotic, and a 2-liter of Sprite with a note that read, “This is to help you through all the shitty student papers you have to grade this week…and for generally just being awesome.”
Man, I have him fooled.
Post # 11
I’m so sorry! I too am paying for most of the wedding. This is the first year both me and the future hubby are working full-time (I just graduated with my masters) and ALL our money goes to the wedding, we’re saving over 1,000 a month just to make it work. It’s so frustrating seeing all my friends spend all this money, my mom is having her MOB dress CUSTOM made, costing the same as MY wedding dress, yet she’s not budging on what she gave us. Believe me, I’m thankful for any sort of money, but we’re barely making ends meet to pay for this wedding and we are cutting cost’s in every way we can. There are hidden costs everywhere, not to mention my friend had promised to pay for my photobooth got pregnant and decided she couldn’t. (I understand but it just sucks!) When I feel overwhelmed and scared, I just think: The only thing that REALLY matters is the moment when I am walking down the aisle and see HIM, GET him, and when we are announced as HUSBAND and WIFE, that’s all that matters. You’ll get through it and it will be the best day of your life 🙂 One of my friend’s said, “After stressing every day for a year, on the day of my wedding, I decided I would let it all go, whatever happens that day, I don’t care, I get to marry my best friend, nothing else matters” Don’t lose sight to what’s important, you got it girl!
Post # 12
Aw I’m sorry *hugs* When I got to the post office to mail my shower invitations (long story why I offered to do them) I was told that because I addressed the envelopes one way and not another the stamps were going to cost me even more. Money I totally didn’t have to spend! *grumble*
Post # 13
@Elisemarie1986: I know, you are right. I know I will be glad I spent this money. I just wish I had bought more expensive, flat invitations and saved on the postage. But, at the end of the day, it all goes in the trash anyway (the invites and stamps, that is–not the vows and neverending love and all that other mushy stuff).
@star_dust: Bah! I bet you wish you hadn’t taken on that task. :/ But at least I am not the only one with post office woes.
Post # 14
we are paying for our wedding and i just had a break down looking at something stupid and small because i felt like i kept compromising everything i wanted from the beginning (very tight budget) so my FH had to sit me down and tell me it would be ok i felt so stupid afterward because in the end I’m still getting married and that’s the whole point right?! 🙂
@Elisemarie1986: just read yours and thats exactly right!
Post # 15
@leahsmom0201: Everyone keeps telling me that it will all be worth it in the end. That is what we budget brides have to keep reminding ourselves–well, and all brides really. It is always stressful, I suppose. At least now I can tell my little sis who is getting married next year about this crazy postage business so she doesn’t make the same mistake! 🙂