Post # 1
I totally just wrote a giant post and decided you guys don’t need to read the whole thing LOL!
I basically just wanted to share an article I have found. I know a lot of girls are feeling the way I feel during waiting. Out of control, resentful, angry, hurt, confused, rather desperate, while at the same time being excited to have a proposal looming in the not so distant future, and to be begining a life with someone they adore. My emotions are a mess lately. I feel bi-polar. One day I’m super happy and in love, the next I’m angry I still have a boyfriend and no commitment.
I read an article yesterday that made me realise “No you are not going insane. Your relationship is not falling apart. The situation is taking its toll on you”. I printed it and showed it to the boyfriend who said he definitely understood now why I would be struggling so much with this. Even though his reasons are just and that of course marriage is the end goal, he sees how his actions could be misinterpreted by me. Honestly all i wanted was for him to understand the inner turmoil this would cause, and to talk opening with me about it.
Basically, Mr. Bees Back up Plan is going to take full effect starting today. I have to keep busy (even though marriage is thrown in my face by people on a weekly basis). Sigh…its good to know some girls out there are in the same place as me.
Here is the article. http://www.yourtango.com/201052975/waiting-for-marriage-proposal-advice-you-need
I also found this one helpful http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/13231665/ns/today-weddings/t/want-man-propose-be-bitch/
Post # 3
I thought the first was a good article! I’ve shown the second to my man before and he thought it was nuts. I’ve been depressed before and have been feeling depressed lately but that first article pretty much hit the nail on the head.
Post # 4
i know you didnt mean anything by it, but i am bipolar, so i cringe whenever someone says that, but i understand in away how people can compare themselves as ‘feeling’ that way. (now let me get off my soap box) those were good articles, i liked the first one. it would be interesting to see a study on the women who wait and the emotional toll it can take.
i also thought it was interesting that out of the womens study they did on proposals only 1 woman took the initiative to pop the question to her guy. gender roles are strong, even today.
edit: i have both of sherry argovs books, they should be a womans bible to relationships, every woman should have a copy, i bought a few for friends during xmas. good read, and alot of truth.
Post # 5
I think Sherry Argov is more tongue-in-cheek than solid advice (as with so many other “self help” books, there’s a small kernel of truth in a lot of fluff).
Dr. John Gottman’s books are really so much better when it comes to interpersonal relationships.
The first article has a lot of good points.
Post # 6
@txbella: I’m so sorry! I actually thought about that after i posted it. I really didnt want to offend. But i’m glad you didnt take it that way and just realize i was referencing the emotional roller coaster waiting can have.
I liked the first article because it does referenced the lack of control with waiting. And how without us knowing, our emotions can get all out of whack rather quickly.
The second article, i mostly just took that maintaining independance is important. We cant become consumed by our relationship status to the point that our life begins to unravel.
So basically, being a little selfish is ok. Which can often be completely against our natural female instinct.