Post # 1
So, SO and I are 100% not living in our current state in the future and are like 99.99% sure moving either a) when his music career takes off or b) I graduate in december, which ever comes first. All of my family lives in the state we do now and I’d like to get married here so everyone can come before I get wisked off to who knows where. This would push our somewhat non-exisitant timeline up A LOT. Not sure what to do here, promised SO of course that I would not talk about engagement stuff but I mean I feel like he should know this worry just came to mind. I’m sending him in about 3-4 weeks my 3 likes for rings and 3 dislikes as well as my size. That doesn’t mean he’s going to get it then but I didn’t want to seem overeager by sending him stuff a day after we first had the talk so i’m waiting till i’m at the beach for a week so hes in the height of missing me lol. I was thinking i’d just include my worry in (we’re a huge note couple, we always write little notes to each other and i’m including one in my folder of ring pics) my note but now I am contemplating if i shuold just mention it now or should i still just wait the few weeks?
What do you bees think?
Post # 3
I have indicated to my SO that he doesnt quite grasp how enormous of a task planning a wedding is. I told him i have a dream of getting married September 2013, and i WANT a year to plan, so he should be proposing this summer if we want to make that heppen. We also want to start having kids in 2 years so we need to get married next year for that to happen.
However his response was “Dont pressure me and dont tell me when to propose”
So honestly you can make your concerns known, but just bring it up and ask his opinion. Guys usally dont “get it” when it comes to wedding planning. But they also dont want to be told what to do because it can come across as an ultimatum.
Luckily my SO preceded that comment with “No problem! err…dont pressure me and dont tell me when to propose”
Post # 4
@Rush1986: haha yeah they definitely don’t get it. We’re not worried about kids at this point cause we’re both still pretty young but we’re about to just get started with our lives just he and I. So maybe it’s selfish but I’d like to start out that journey as husband and wife or at the least fiancé and fiancée not boyfriend and girlfriend especially if our plan is to move cross country possibly. Still thinking about what to do, I’ll probably end up saying something because he always knows when stuff is on my mind, kind of annoying actually LOL
Post # 5
@raye9289: Yes i am HORRIBLE with keeping my mouth shut. He always knows when i am ‘in my head’ which happens often.
Just make sure you bring it up calmly. I have definitedly learned that its important to keep your cool regarding conversations like this.
Post # 6
@raye9289: I think instead of sending him ring pictures/size you should tell him your concern. I think the ring obsession of girls really freaks/turns guys off of marriage because it puts the wrong idea in their head.
Let this mull around in your head for a few weeks then bring it up when the two of you are alone and can’t be interrupted.
Best of luck!
Post # 7
If your family lives where you do now, there’s no reason they can’t help you plan a wedding local to them even if you do move away. I’d still talk to him, voice your concerns, and be open & honest with him. But, as a back-up plan, if he isn’t ready to propose before you guys move away, then you can still get married wherever you want.
Post # 8
My Fiance didn’t know how many details were involved in wedding planning but when I said “I will need 6 months to plan this thing” he said “okay!” and made it work so we could get married this summer (which was a necessity due to work commitments.)
Post # 9
@Miss T-Rex: Yeah, I know what you mean. That’s the thing though I am super NOT a ring girl. I’m only sending him pictures because he asked me too, i feel akward and weird about him spending that much money for a silly ring but I am also into the tradition of it. So he told me he thinks he can pick one out I will like I think he’s gonna ask his mom or something but he did want me to send him any pictures of stuff that is just absolutely a no. That’s basically what i’ll be sending him. Along with my ring size. But you bring up a good point. I’ll have to be extra sure to not come across as ring crazy because that can drive a lot of guys away and definitely don’t want that.
@DaneLady: That is very true, and if it came down to it I’d be fine with that but it wouldn’t be the same as having my family all around me. I am a huge family person and when we move it’ll be to a whole new place where I don’t know anyone. I’m very, very, very shy so I’m nervous about that and I just think it would be less stressful to have people like my mom, sister, and cousins all around me during a special time. I don’t want to be planning my wedding alone is some apartment while my family is miles and miles away.
I think though everyone is right I’m just going to have to talk to him. I just am afraid because you hear how people’s fiancés would’ve proposed sooner (sometimes 2 or 3 MONTHS sooner) if their girlfriends would’ve been quiet so I feel like everytime I have a worry that is marriage related i’m just making myself wait even longer if I bring it up. The do’s and do not’s for all this stuff is mind-boggling. There are so many sometimes i feel frozen in place! haha stressful!
Post # 10
@DaneLady: This. People do this all the time. In fact, I’m basically doing this right now. I’m throwing an anniversary party / reception (we got married alone and didn’t invite anyone) in my hometown and we’re currently posted in Afghanistan.
I’m probably going to get flamed for this, but really… It’s not that hard. Planning stuff can be as time consuming or as simple as you want it to be, but either way, there is very little you can’t do remotely with a little bit of help.
Post # 11
I’ve got a bug up my butt lately to have a “surprise” wedding. I’m thinking we just “kiddnap” our Moms and siblings and have an “elopement” wedding in the tourist town about three hours away from home.
Anyone see the new bing commercial, where the couple post an engagement thing on FB and wth in three hours they plan a wedding with their friends and throw it that night? Not exactly doable, but I could pull that off in a weekend. And Fiance loves the idea. =)
Just relax sugarbritches. Everything will be okay.
Post # 12
@Mrs.LemonDrop: Oh I definitely agree that it’s totally doable to plan something away from the actual location but the point is I don’t WANT to be away from my family during that time. I’m not doubting the logistics of it, I just mean personally for me and this experience in my life I’d like my family all around me in person.