(Closed) Just unbelievable

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
5183 posts
Bee Keeper

omg! I am so sorry you are going through this! I can totally understand why you are upset. Have you spoken to your dad? maybe he is assuming that he can take off a couple days to go to the wedding.. or something to that extent… either way.. take a sec to cool off before you do

Post # 4
Member
688 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I am sorry this is hapenning to you. Do you think if you talk to him and let him know how much hurt this is doing it will change anything.

Post # 6
Member
2539 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

Oh my….im so sorry….that must be so hard. I def think you should talk to him and let him know how you feel. That is so hurtful! Maybe your parents are having a hard time adjusting to the engagment? Either it sucks and its mean and we all sending you bunches of (((hugs))). Sorry pumpkin.

Post # 7
Member
1240 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@andilene: probably was mature of you to hang up the phone. You probably had some other things to say to him right then. 

I really hope that whoever he’s working with, even for that day, they understand, and they will give him the day.

[[[[[[[[[[[[[hugs]]]]]]]]]]]]]

Post # 8
Member
1660 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Oh my gosh… I could not in a million years imagine why your father would think this is okay?!?! I’m sooo sorry! I would be beyond hurt. πŸ™

Post # 10
Member
1240 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@andilene: And even if you’re not done ranting, its okay πŸ™‚ We’ll still listen πŸ™‚

Post # 11
Member
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@andilene: I would of hung up on him too! And I probably would of said a lot worse before I did so. I hope that your reaction makes them realize how horrible it is that your father would miss your wedding for work. This happened to me with my uncle (he lived with us when I was a child so we were quite close) and he didn’t attend and I was angry, I cannot begin to imagine if it was my own father!

You say your mom’s family is really close, right? Well, maybe you should tell some of them your dad is missing the wedding because of a job he has decided he wants to take. I bet they’ll call your mom like ‘what the hell’…maybe the family pressure will help them come around?

Post # 12
Member
146 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@andilene:

I’m sorry you’re in this situation.  My dad pulled similar shenanigans on me when we announced we were considering a destination wedding.  He flat out said, “Don’t count on me being there”.  I did the same thing as you… got upset, then asked my brother to step in a walk me. 

After a lot of consideration, we decided to stay in the city and get married locally but my brother had a really good point.  If our dad would willingly choose to not attend my wedding then it’s his decision that’ll he’ll have to live with.  As much as it sucks for me (also you), you shouldn’t have to twist his arm to make him come.  Your brother will support you and love you while he walks you down the aisle.  Be thankful that you have your brother and just let your dad go. 

Your dad will regret his decision one day, but it will be too late then.  If he’s comfortable making you feel this way and excluding himself, would you really want him at your wedding anyways?  Just remember that it’s him excluding himself and not you excluding him.  There is nothing you can do to control his decisions.

I hope that helps… It made me stop crying and get over my dad’s ego.  I want to be happy on my wedding day. 

Post # 13
Member
1238 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

That hurts. I’d wait it out before you make any other decisions or change plans. You dont’ want your brother to feel “in the middle” of this.

Yesterday one of my bridesmaids pulled out, saying our wedding was too traditional for her and there’s no way she’s wearing a matching dress- she thinks it’s tacky and stupid and can’t understand why we want that. All I asked was for a matching colour, they could choose their own style!

point being, wedding’s bring out people’s true colours and it’s a bumpy ride to the altar. You can’t understand why your wedding isn’t more important to them. I can’t understand why my friend can’t put aside her opinions to support me. People are weird!

Post # 15
Member
91 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Hey we are date twins!

 

I agree with the bees who say to let him miss it, and suffer the regret afterwards.

To be honest, you should have people around you who are excited for you and WANT to celebrate with you on that day. I seriously, would not beg them to come. I would drop it, and honestly tell them that you are you putting them down as a “no” for the caterer, so after a certain point they aren’t welcome to change thier minds and show up.

Seems to me like something else is going on there, and you are the one suffering because of it. Leave them out of it, embrace the people who love and support you, and stop going out of your way to see them or talk to them.

Good luck!

Post # 16
Member
1269 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

 I wish folks would give us “the rest of the story” and tell us how things worked out.

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