Post # 1
Hi Bees heres my first post so take it easy on me lol.
Im a waiting bee, i have been with my SO since we were 16 we are now 24. I live with my parents, they are traditional mexicans and my dad is very strict. Here is my dilema: my dad has only known my SO for about two years but my SO does not like coming to my house because my dad doesnt speak english and my SO doesnt speak much spanish, so my dad doesnt really know know my SO. That being said SO and I are planning on getting married this year but i have not talked to my parents about it. His family all knows and are excited.
I have asked my SO to ask my dad for his blessing since i know my dad would apreciate that. I am just worried of how my dad might react. I guess im just nervou my dad wont approve/give his blessing since he doesnt really know him, but after 8 years with hiim i know hes the one for me. Anyone experience something simiilar?
Post # 3
My father was very strict growing up. When my first husband appraoch him about marriage, my dad was reluctant but realized we had already made up our minds. It was better to involved in my life, even if it wasn’t with the right man (in my case), than to lose me.
Post # 4
@Giswhatibee: I am sure that if you have been with your SO for 8 yrs, your Dad is fine with him, or you would know for sure by now, that he wasn’t.
I suggest it would be very courteous and respectful for your SO to learn how to ask for your Dad’s blessing in Spanish. I think your Dad would value that.
Post # 5
@julies1949: Injust want to second that idea – it would both show respect and show that he’s putting effort in
Post # 6
@aliavenue thank you for your response now thinking about it my dad would probably react the same way. He loves me too much to not be involved in my life. i know he just wants whats best for me and he will support my decisions.
@julies1949 @aliciaspinnet thank you two. I agree and its what i asked my SO to do. I told him it would creat a mutual respect between the two if nothing else. I just hope he follows through because he is shy and does not know what to say and especially if there will be a language barrier. I told him to just go with his heart.
Post # 7
It’s possible your dad is patiently waiting for your fellow to make his move after all this time! Help your sweetheart work out what he will say in Spanish. I’m sure your dad was just as nervous when he asked for your mom’s hand in marriage and he will secretly feel sympathetic. He just won’t show it ;). That’s his job!
Post # 8
- Wedding: July 2014 - saint patricks parish
@Giswhatibee: I havent expreinced it personally but I do have a soulution, you can translate it from your so to your father and vice versa. Since your so doesn’t feel comfortable at your house why not suggest a family dinner or something?
Post # 9
thank you so much ladies. I will most definetly have a talk with my SO this weekend and hopefully help ease his nerves, or maybe it might just be me being overly nervous!! Either way i will help him with his spanish i know he knows some spanish. And yes my dad seems like he’s mean but he is really a nice funny guy!! Happy weekend everyone!
Post # 10
@Giswhatibee: I haven’t had a similar experience, but maybe you could help your SO to learn enough Spanish to be able to ask your dad in his native tongue. I think that would make your dad realize that he is making an effort, and that he really does want to be a part of your family. Just an idea!
Post # 11
Consider filming something and have your SO narrate it in Spanish, it could be quite fun 🙂
Talk about your lives, your lives together and hopes for your future.
Would your SO consider learning Spanish for you in future? It would be a nice gesture towards your family. Your dad might be worried future generations will forget their roots.
It must be hard for the both of them with the language barrier.