(Closed) Just wear the flats?!?!

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
39 posts
  • Wedding: October 2013

Just something to think about… I saw on pinterest you can put down stepping stones. It also acts as a marker for wear to stand 🙂 I will try to find the link

Post # 4
1734 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I think you can say that you’d *prefer* that they wear flats. I’d emphasize the safety issue — you don’t want anyone’s heel getting caught. You can also say that you would “prefer not to look like a midget next to you guys! :-)” or something like that. If your sister’s going to be a bitch about it though, I’d let peer pressure from the other bridesmaids be sufficient.

In other news — woot woot for short brides! I’m 5’3 too and ordered my dress 6 inches shorter than normal. $50 more expensive, but absolutely no hemming needed now. And these are my wedding shoes: 


Post # 10
6892 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

I don’t think it’s an issue. Some brides request that their BMs wear heels, it’s the same thing to me. Maybe you could tell them that their shoes are part of their gifts.

Post # 12
405 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

Well I don’t see why not.

It seems perfectly acceptable to ask your maids to wear certain dresses, colours, styles, jewellery, flowers, hairstyles, etc. So I can’t see why asking them to wear flats could be any different.

If your other maids are fine about it then ask away. And your sister insists on wearing heels then she’ll probably just make a scene of herself and fall over. 😛

Post # 13
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@BerryBerry:  Well, I don’t think a lot of those examples are fine, so I guess it depends on the bride.

I thought about this a lot – my bridesmaids were nearly all taller than me, some quite a bit taller than me, and I wore flats. I thought it would kinda bug me in pictures or look weird to have my Maid/Matron of Honor tower over me, but I also know that she loves heels and always feels better about herself when wearing them, her posture is better and she feels more comfortable and happy. In the end, that was way more important than my pictures – the pictures of just the two of us look kinda funny cuz of the height difference, but I just tease her about her heel addiction when we look at them, and made sure to take some of us sitting on benches, edges of fountains, etc.

I get asking your BMs to wear the same dress…but anything beyond that, whether it’s shoes, hairstyles, etc., seems to be pushing the line for me. They’re your friends, not clones of eachother! I think that letting each girl put a different spin on their look is the way to go – they match but their individual personalities still shine through. It is your day…but please use that phrase sparingly, their footwear is not really something that is going to have any affect on you or the groom on your wedding day!

Post # 15
405 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2012


I actually agree with you totally, my maids won’t be matching and I won’t be telling them exactly what to wear!

They’re your friends, not clones of eachother!

Agreed. Last wedding I attended the 3 BM’s had matching dresses, earrings and hair. I didn’t like it, and the BM’s didn’t either.


I just meant on a whole it seems pretty much accepted to have the dresses, shoes, jewellery etc, pre-chosen for your maids. A huge percentage of the brides on here post what dresses, necklaces and hair they have chosen for their BM’s, so I didn’t think asking them to wear flats was anything unusual.


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