Post # 1
I’m not officially a “waiting” bee, but I do have reason to believe that SO will be proposing some time in the next 6 months or so. And I’m cool with that. I honestly am. I don’t get my hopes up for something to happen every time we go somewhere, and I am being pretty good about not reading too much into things. We bought his wedding band, but only because it was a KILLER deal (we’re talking $200 ring for less than $20!!) and it is tucked safely away in a jewely box- out of sight, out of mind. I’ve not nagged, nor have I demanded any kind of timeline or given an ultimatum. I’ve been cool as a cucumber because I know it’ll happen and I now it’ll happen when it is meant to happen.
But, today I’m feeling a little waiting-crazy. My BFF and her Boyfriend or Best Friend went ring-shopping and put a stunning ring on layaway a few weeks ago. They have been dating about 5 months. So and I have been together almost 2 years and living together for just under 6 months. It didn’t bother me in the least, and I am really happy for her that she found someone (she hasn’t had the best luck in the dating department). Then this morning I saw on FB that a good friend of mine, who we all joked was going to be our personal George Clooney (good looking and happy to stay a bachelor and date models forever) got engaged to his long-distance girlfriend. Again, I am really happy for him because she seems awesome and she has been really good for him. They’ve been together about 9 months. My younger brother just got married in June to a fantastic girl and they welcomed a gorgeous daughter in August, and my younger sister has two beautiful girls as well.
As happy as I am for my friends and family, and as excited as I am for them to start these awesome new chapters in thier lives, I’m feeling a little blue because I want to be right there with them. I’m not depressed or feeling “woe is me! the world is ending!” but it stings ever-so-slightly to be waiting for something and see everyone else going through it. Hopefully I won’t be waiting much longer, but who knows. We don’t have a specific timeline, just the understanding that I won’t buy a house with him until we’re engaged, and he wants to buy a house when our lease is up in August. So it’s coming, and he is comfortable with that, but I’m feeling a little jittery today since apparently “love is in the air”. Also, having all my adorable nieces around is making my ovaries ache a little, even though I know I am not prepared for motherhood right now. I do want to be a mother within the next 5 years or so, and SO knows that and agrees with that timeline.
I guess I’m just ready to start moving forward in life, and the train is a little slow to leave the station right now. Just wanted to vent to people who would understand me. Thanks, bees!
Post # 3
It’s tough to have all your friends getting engaged. Last year at work, I think there were like 7 weddings, it was nuts, and made me a little sad. I dunno, if it were me, I would talk to him about feeling a little anxious about it, especially if you think you are ready to start looking at buying a house soon. Discussing a timeline for your lives is fair, and since you haven’t really done so, it might be time to.
Post # 4
Big hugs! You sound like you’re in a similar situation to me. I’m not moving to where SO is until we get engaged and probably have a courthouse wedding as well. He says it’s coming but other timelines have come and gone and I’m not sure if it will really come. He seems more comfortable with things, and mostly I’ve been focusing on me and we’ve both been working on improving our relationship, so mostly I’m okay.
But, like you, SOME DAYS, I’m just like ugh why can’t it happen already!!! I’m excited for the forever to begin, and I don’t get why he is so super slow. You seem to be pretty level-headed, and great about being happy for other people, so just think of it as a temporary blip on your otherwise awesome record/feelings about the whole thing. These blips always pass, and you know that, so maybe just accept that some days are harder than other days, and think about how lucky you are to have someone like your SO. That’s what I try and do, and most of the time it works pretty well!
Post # 5
@MariaW: Yeah, these days are fortunately very rare. I LOVE LOVE LOVE my life with SO. He is, for lack of a more mature term that can adequately express my feelings, amazeballs. Our communication is wonderful, and he is constantly amazing me with the details her remembers or things he knows about me without me ever telling him. The only other person I have ever felt this kind of deep, loving, comfortable kind of connection with is my BFF and we’ve been inseperable for 15 years.
Being content and happy with what I have right now makes it really easy to be happy for those around me. I never really understood the concept of being jealous or bitter over someone else’s happiness. Seems like wasted energy to me. I’d rather be smiling all day!
I’ll be keeping an eye out for your happy “I’m engaged” post! 😉
Post # 6
@MissGreenBean: Omg I say that too! Hahaha! Hope to see yours too!
Post # 7
@MissGreenBean: hey, last year we went to 3 weddings, one where i was a bridesmaid and i thought he’d get on board….no he was turned against the big day….well, my one gf went a little snarly close to the day. but, thats when she was planning for a year and it got to be a bit much lol. i’m also the elder sibling and my younger sister got married close to 6 years ago. Most of my childhood friends are married with families now. Only 2 of my gf’s haven’t got anyone, tg, so i can still do the gf’s night out lol. I know it’s hard to see others get what you want. But, know the universe has a plan for you and you are right where your supposed to be.
Post # 8
I know how you feel. I’m in my late 30s and most everyone around me who has wanted marriage and children has gotten married and had kids. My younger sister is having her 3rd child next month. So I feel I have been lapped several times. But like you, I need to remember that everything happens in it’s perfect time and God has a plan or the Universe if you don’t believe in God.
I have high hopes that my SO will ask me by the end of the year because he said it was extremely likely but it’s still kind of hard to wait, especially at my age. But I know we are getting closer so I have to focus on that. It’s good if you guys can talk about it and you know that it’s coming soon and that you have a SO that is so wonderful. I have to remind myself that some of my friends who have gotten married might not have as good of a relationship as me and my SO do or didn’t work out all the kinks and communication stuff before marriage so we might be in a better place in the long haul.
I hope to hear of your engagement on this board soon!
Post # 9
Ditto!! I do not consider myself waiting per se either, but know an engagement is coming ‘within a year’…per my SO a few weeks back. Now, although I’m truly excited, and promised myself I would not anticipate when, where, or how…it is still pretty hard too. That timeline could mean tomorrow or 11 months, 30 days and 23 hours 🙂
in the meantime all my friends are married and starting families, so I am definitely a late bloomer in my circle, and I am 30 years old!! So yes, was he worth the wait 28 years into my life when I met him?! Absolutely. Will he continue to be worth the ‘wait’?! Absolutely. But feeling powerless in a situation where the ball is in his court is tough. Now I will go back to NOT waiting on this very nice sweetest day 🙂
Post # 10
Oh goodness now my BFFs boyfriend just messaged me and told me he is planning to propose on Thanksgiving day, so there is a specific date set for them. I showed SO a ring I really liked on Etsy, and being the girl I am, I went to lovingly admire it again today and it was purchased on Friday night (Etsy will show you a shop’s recent sales). I would love to think he is the one who bought it but I know that it is really unlikely. Apparently this is just a bad pre-engagement weekend for me haha
Oh well! Now I am going to start preparing for Maid/Matron of Honor duties (BFF and I agreed when we were like, 13, that we would be each other’s Maid/Matron of Honor when that time came LOL) and looking up how to throw a KICK ASS bridal shower and bachelorette party
Post # 11
I think all of us have these days… and that’s fine!! Today SO and I visited mutual friends in the hospital who just had their first child- and it was great! But I couldn’t help but think that they were engaged when SO I and started dating and now they got married, bought a house, got a dog, and had their first kid… and in that same time SO and I are STILL JUST DATING! Feelings like this pass- just remember that what you have is worth the wait!!
Post # 12
@MissGreenBean: You’ll be able to keep yourself busy with Maid/Matron of Honor duties for a few months so that’ll help pass the time. But I can empathise with waiting and wanting it so bad. Your time will come, you just have to be patient.