(Closed) Just when I thought it couldn’t get worse…

posted 9 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

You’re 19? So you’re a sophomore? You still have like, 3 years of school left.

They have loans and grants and scholarships. I think I’d do that first. You can also file your FAFSA so that you are not tied to your parents and if your parents can’t afford to help with your education, you shoudl still be able to get money from them.

Post # 4
Member
960 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

First of all, I’m sorry that happened. That must be incredibly hard. Having said that, money/insurance, etc. should not be the reason you get married. My advice: pick up another job (there are jobs out there despite what news wants you to think), forget about getting married for now, and focus on your education and finances. If your fiance/bf is there now, he’ll be there 3-5 years from now when you’re financially prepared to get married. If you desperately just must get married right now, don’t have a big wedding. Have a small courthouse ceremony and have a big celebration in a few years when you’re better prepared financially. Just please think about this.

Post # 5
Member
960 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Yes, just like EJS said, banks will lend you money that you wont have to pay back until you graduate. Apply for scholarships, you’ll be surprised who will give you money.

Post # 7
Member
6 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Hi Indygirl…

I feel your pain!  I am getting married on 10/30/10, graduating 5/10 AND paying for both!!

Grad school funding is a whole different thing, that I will be dealing with after the wedding!!

Assuming you are talking about your undergrad degree.  I am not sure this will help but in my situation I actually get more financial aid by waiting to get married b/c they take your spouses income into account.  Before you do anything I would talk to you financial aid advisor.  If you declare yourself independent on your taxes and only use your financial information on your FAFSA that should make a HUGE difference!  Tell them your parents are not contributing and your income is all that matters, there may also be a “low income letter” that you can fill out explaining your situation financially and the lack of parental support.  All aid awards can be appealed if you feel you should have received a different package.  I wouldn’t mention to them you are getting married.  They dont need to know until after you actually do!!

It’s a tough place to be and I wish you all the luck.  As far as paying for the wedding, my Fiance and I are using a low interest home owners loan.  It’s not an ideal situation but its better than a credit card for us right now.

Congratulations on your engagement!! (=

Post # 8
Member
960 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Your profile says you’re 19…I’m pretty sure in the US that makes you an adult. You can absolutely claim yourself as an independent. If your religion frowns upon living together before marriage, I’m sure it also frowns upon entering into a marriage for the wrong reasons. If you really don’t want to live with him because of those reasons, live with your parents or on your own or with a girl friend. Like I said before, if he’s there now, he’ll be there in a few years.

Post # 9
Member
6 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2010

As far as the emancipation, are you sure?  I would double check with the school.  I independent at 18.

Good Luck!!

Post # 12
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Don’t you still live on-campus? At my school you were required to live in campus-approved housing sophomore and junior year. I guess I don’t see why you’d *have* to get married due to religion. You wouldn’t even have to live with him.

What’s wrong with having a roommate or the dorm or an apartment or any of those other options?

I have friends who were independent from their parents at that age; do a little more research. Go talk to the financial aid office about your options. I don’t think marriage is the *answer* to *this* problem.

Plus, how much financial aid would you get being married? 5K? 20K? I just dont’ think it’s worth it to rush through it while in college.But, i guess it depends what kind of experience you want and if you have girlfriends and everything. The married students at my school were very very different from the rest of us. Most didn’t last the 4 years of college (tehy all changed soooo much) or were much older or the stress of being dual-engineering students wreaked havoc on them. For me, college was enough on my plate. I can’t imagine being a full time student in my field! Just make sure you can balance it all.

Post # 13
Member
152 posts
Blushing bee

I wish you all the best and would never fault you or your relationship for ‘being too young,’ but I am concerned that you are looking at every obstacle as another reason to jump into marriage.

There are so many people in your situation, and it looks like there has been great advice offered from the bees above, I just want to make sure you make a really adult decision about marriage and finances. It would be better to live with your parents, a friend, a roommate, and pursue loans/scholarships than to rush getting married and not have the wedding and marriage you want and deserve. 

 

Post # 14
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Also, if you’re going to get married at 19, indy, just be prepared for the comments people will make. It’s a much different world I guess, and EAQ is just giving you that perspective.

You didn’t come right out ands ay you love him want to marry him and the money is a perk. An extra. Your post made it sound like “we WERE going to wait 5 years, but now we can save all this money by doing it now” so….just saying that’s how you came off.

Post # 15
Member
428 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2009 - Church Ceremony/Reception at The Waterford House

Hmmm I would double check with the FAFSA and student loan department at your school (they can probably give you some good financial advice too).  I had a roommate in college that payed for room & board, books, living, tuition all on financial aid… this was when she was 18.  Otherwise, if you parents aren’t paying for anything.. you should probably take the steps to get emancipated if necessary. 

If you have your heart set on getting married right this moment, you could always do a small, intimate ceremony/ court house wedding now and have your big, dream wedding once you finish school.

Good luck!

Post # 16
Member
672 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

You’ve gotten some great advice so I’m not goign to bother adding my opinion to it.  I just want to echo everybody who has said you really need to go in and talk to a financial aid advisor at your school.  You probably have more choices than just the two options of being unmarried & broke or married & more aid.  That stuff is crazy complicated and you should should talk to experts. 

 

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