Post # 1
First of all, the area where I live was heavily hit by Sandy. I have many friends who are without homes, and who have severe destruction to their homes, so I am very grateful I have a home to go back to. I feel like me complaining about what happened to me is very selfish at this time. However, I have been planning my destination wedding for over a year. We had gotten legally married over the summer just to make things easier. Only our parents were in attendance. However, the destination wedding was what everyone was going to experience. After so much work and time into it, our flight was cancelled due to the nor’eastern. We tried everything we could but we could to get a flight in time without incurring astronomical costs which we were not able to afford on top of everything else. The only good thing about this is all the vendors were understanding and gave us our money back, as well as our trip (we took insurance.) My thing is, what do I do now? I am at a loss. Do I just forget everything, or should I have a “reception dinner” back home. I feel worse for everyone than I do myself. I have about 20 guests down there who I can’t be with, and 7 more were on my flight so they could not get there as well. I feel so guilty as I had decided on this trip and helped everyone plan and everything fell apart. What should I do??
Post # 3
First of all I want to say I’m so sorry about everything going on with those storms and it must have been an incredible difficult time.
I think it’s awesome you guys were insured and your money was returned. I think the best thing to do right now is take a deep breath and a step back. Process whats going on, deal with your friends and family at this time. And don’t feel selfish about your feelings it’s on natural that you would feel this way. Then make plans either rebook your wedding I’m the vendors would be willing to work with you, or save up and have a small at home reception in a few months.
Giving yourself a little time will allow you to make other plans. If people have lost their homes having a wedding at home may make more sense at this time.
Post # 4
I have thought about this over the last 2 weeks, and I have confided in my bridesmaids as well as close friends. I was thinking of doing a reception only so that I can at least wear my dress and have pictures, but everyone seems to think this is silly and a waste of money. Basically my bridesmaids no longer have an interest in any wedding festivities, and the response I am getting is basically “You already been legally married a few months now, just forget about it”. I feel like I am in a catch 22. The whole reason for the legal wedding was to make the destination wedding run smoother. When we originally booked the destination wedding, we were planning on getting legally married there. But then we found out it would be a few months before it was recognized here and decided to get legally married sooner. I get that I can never replace the legal marriage, but I did want some type of celebration. I just feel like I ruined everything for myself. I ruined the one day I get to say my vows and I can never get it back. I was feeling excited about planning a reception only, but now I am just discourgaged. Maybe it is a waste of money. Any thoughts?
Post # 5
@Tropicalbride: I’m sorry about what happened. How about celebration at home on your 1 yr anniversary?
Post # 6
I don’t think it’s a waste of money when it’s to create wonderful memories that you can cherish. Sure, you’re legally bound already.. but you didn’t get to have the whole shebang where you can party the night away with all those close friends and family that really matter to you. I really think you should do the reception dinner! That’s your opportunity to take beautiful photos in your dress.. with people who matter most to you. It need not be extravagant.. it’s not where or what you’re doing.. it’s who you’re with 😉
As for boosting your bridesmaids’ morale.. tell them: “But I really didn’t get to celebrate with you girls.. which would mean the world to me”
PS. I’m also having a courthouse ceremony here in NJ to make things easier for us too.. and I’m keeping it on the DL so we can fully bask in our April wedding.!
Post # 7
I don’t think you’re being selfish at all and I’m so sorry about Sandys destruction and your ruined destination wedding plans.
However, it sounds like people aren’t as focused on your wedding as they used to be because of your legal marriage. I’m sure they know it was to make the destination wedding easier but they’re probably thinking you should be thankful you’re already married and that they want to focus on their own lives right now.
That said, could you re-plan the destination thing or a celebration at home for your 1st anniversary? Also, you may not want to do this, but i would do a charity reception or something for now: a casual brunch to celebrate your marriage with your loved ones and afterwards help in relief efforts or a shelter or something. You can all do it together as a group if they want to join you.